This place looks like Chin Peng's hideout or an outlaw's den where murders are committed with quiet abandon.The entrance into the farm is so eerie,and so quiet,that I wouldn't be surprised in the least if some day,a motorist gets waylaid,robbed,his woman dragged uphill or down into the bushes to be raped by some opportunist.
There is no proper road,just a one vehicle wide,dirt track interspersed by broken tiles here and there,with a maze of directions that pulls you so deep towards a foothill of a durian plantation that I almost wanted to turn back until we finally spotted up ahead in a clearing,a cluster of vehicles all shiny,big and new plus an Ai Goh Hotel van from Penang island filled with no doubt nauseous tourists.
Just how on earth we were convinced into coming here?
This fella we knew,had heard it by word of mouth.When he bumped into us he couldn't contain his excitement and declared that the fish here was so fresh,that they were bred in running water therefore there would be no earth or muddy smell guaranteed,that TNB staff even came here to eat and bla bla so on so forth.
I fell for it hook,line and sinker.
After parking our vehicle,we were amazed to see so many people in the middle of practically nowhere.Entire families came here for a feast with grandmas in tow.Tourists walked about inspecting the ponds.It was ethereal !That was from what we saw up at the car park.
Up close however,from the very moment we descended down the steps,the smell of dog faeces hits you.An old emergency era latrine covered in moss is on the left hand side of the stairs.That is where they expect you to empty your bowels after your meal.You pass a row of empty fowl cages littered with garbage and make your way through absolute filth to the dining area.At this point I asked myself, is a farm or a dumpster?
Still we sit down and reluctantly order.We decide on Patin,Tilapia,vegetables and a herbal drink.There isn't much choice,you either take it or you leave it.If they run out of ginger,you are expected to consume the dish without ginger.
On top of the roof is an annoying sprinkler system.The tablecloths are transparent pink large plastic sheets tied to the edges like a flyaway kite.I look out and there's an old woman sunning more sheets atop some bushes.If any bird were to fly past,drop some poop or scatter some urea she would probably presume the sun would dissinfect that.
Our drinks come in recycled mineral water bottles that have been recycled hundreds of times just like the tablecloths.
The Patin is so tough,there is no way it could have been farm fresh.The hide is so leathery,it must have been prerefrigerated.Fresh river patin is so silky and tender.This one had meat the texture of tuna with skin like a python.
Bad,awful,terrible.
The cook has to ensure that the fish has to be kept alive as long as possible just before slaughter.That, besides a rushing river,is the trick to satin Patin.When put in the fridge even if for an hour,this happens.
I might as well have bought it from Tesco.
Heck even if I had bought an aquacultured catfish and grilled it with assam I would have been more content than travelling all the way out here to this sham.
Picturesque?If you never look at the ground,make sure you peg your nose,don't mind the rot around you,love stepping on dog discharge every now and then,then yes.If not,a big No.It's just a durian farm with fish ponds squeezed in close quarters.
The Tilapia somehow was not appetizing partly due to incessant flies that pique your imagination with thoughts of"what if they had sat on dog poo or visited the nearby latrine earlier?"The taste was not even close to Thai,I think they should rename it Flai.
The veg was ok,but only because it was the only non fish dish that flies avoided sitting on.My partner took a lone walk and quickly scuttled back when he spotted a snake lying coiled up on one of the banks.Earlier parties had let their kids loose oblivious to the danger.
We left so much food behind but didn't feel the least guilty.No way was I going to schedule an appointment with the doc after this session.A table of 16 took a bite each of the Patin before tapauing it wholesale.They left with wrinkled noses and dissapointment written all over their foreheads.
On the whole,the much touted river is a trickling,dying stream.There are more ponds than running water to hold the bounty that I find it really strange as to how they managed to rid it of the smell.Either they are great cooks or we have been had and as such I hope the same never befalls you too.If you must have freshwater fish please head onto chowrasta market Never ever come here.
Can't believe that they tell us the place is patronised by locals when so many Penang and KL plates are found here,neither is it exactly cheap for this kind of environment in which we dice with the good of our health.
Let's just say that this place is ecofriendliness gone so wrong,it would make Guan Eng so damn proud.
Shudder!What an absolute appetite busting nightmare.
There is no proper road,just a one vehicle wide,dirt track interspersed by broken tiles here and there,with a maze of directions that pulls you so deep towards a foothill of a durian plantation that I almost wanted to turn back until we finally spotted up ahead in a clearing,a cluster of vehicles all shiny,big and new plus an Ai Goh Hotel van from Penang island filled with no doubt nauseous tourists.
Just how on earth we were convinced into coming here?
This fella we knew,had heard it by word of mouth.When he bumped into us he couldn't contain his excitement and declared that the fish here was so fresh,that they were bred in running water therefore there would be no earth or muddy smell guaranteed,that TNB staff even came here to eat and bla bla so on so forth.
I fell for it hook,line and sinker.
After parking our vehicle,we were amazed to see so many people in the middle of practically nowhere.Entire families came here for a feast with grandmas in tow.Tourists walked about inspecting the ponds.It was ethereal !That was from what we saw up at the car park.
Up close however,from the very moment we descended down the steps,the smell of dog faeces hits you.An old emergency era latrine covered in moss is on the left hand side of the stairs.That is where they expect you to empty your bowels after your meal.You pass a row of empty fowl cages littered with garbage and make your way through absolute filth to the dining area.At this point I asked myself, is a farm or a dumpster?
Still we sit down and reluctantly order.We decide on Patin,Tilapia,vegetables and a herbal drink.There isn't much choice,you either take it or you leave it.If they run out of ginger,you are expected to consume the dish without ginger.
On top of the roof is an annoying sprinkler system.The tablecloths are transparent pink large plastic sheets tied to the edges like a flyaway kite.I look out and there's an old woman sunning more sheets atop some bushes.If any bird were to fly past,drop some poop or scatter some urea she would probably presume the sun would dissinfect that.
Our drinks come in recycled mineral water bottles that have been recycled hundreds of times just like the tablecloths.
The Patin is so tough,there is no way it could have been farm fresh.The hide is so leathery,it must have been prerefrigerated.Fresh river patin is so silky and tender.This one had meat the texture of tuna with skin like a python.
Bad,awful,terrible.
The cook has to ensure that the fish has to be kept alive as long as possible just before slaughter.That, besides a rushing river,is the trick to satin Patin.When put in the fridge even if for an hour,this happens.
I might as well have bought it from Tesco.
Heck even if I had bought an aquacultured catfish and grilled it with assam I would have been more content than travelling all the way out here to this sham.
Picturesque?If you never look at the ground,make sure you peg your nose,don't mind the rot around you,love stepping on dog discharge every now and then,then yes.If not,a big No.It's just a durian farm with fish ponds squeezed in close quarters.
The Tilapia somehow was not appetizing partly due to incessant flies that pique your imagination with thoughts of"what if they had sat on dog poo or visited the nearby latrine earlier?"The taste was not even close to Thai,I think they should rename it Flai.
The veg was ok,but only because it was the only non fish dish that flies avoided sitting on.My partner took a lone walk and quickly scuttled back when he spotted a snake lying coiled up on one of the banks.Earlier parties had let their kids loose oblivious to the danger.
We left so much food behind but didn't feel the least guilty.No way was I going to schedule an appointment with the doc after this session.A table of 16 took a bite each of the Patin before tapauing it wholesale.They left with wrinkled noses and dissapointment written all over their foreheads.
On the whole,the much touted river is a trickling,dying stream.There are more ponds than running water to hold the bounty that I find it really strange as to how they managed to rid it of the smell.Either they are great cooks or we have been had and as such I hope the same never befalls you too.If you must have freshwater fish please head onto chowrasta market Never ever come here.
Can't believe that they tell us the place is patronised by locals when so many Penang and KL plates are found here,neither is it exactly cheap for this kind of environment in which we dice with the good of our health.
Let's just say that this place is ecofriendliness gone so wrong,it would make Guan Eng so damn proud.
Shudder!What an absolute appetite busting nightmare.
