Miss Universe 2011.My two cents

Lots have been wondering why Deborah Henry didn't win.

Now,in my eyes,the main problem is this.
Apparently the only girls fit in our eyes to represent the country have to fulfill the following unspoken rule criterias
1. Have excellent command of the English language
2. Preferably have half Mat Salleh mixed blood,Seranis will rank highly
3. Possess fair skin
4. Can get along with their gang of girls

Therefore all those with great enthuasiasm,raw skills and heart,those that truly represent the spirit of Malaysia and all of its Malaysianness,would be excluded,only to be replaced by boring candidates of Miss Henry's calibre.All because the organisers cannot see past ethnic slangs.

Seen her hosting Bella on Ntv7?
You'll know what I mean.Yawnnnnnnnn
Gosh come to think of it,all the hosts on that show are so exceptionally full of themselves.It's like evesdropping on their daily Datinismship crusade.Zzzzzzzz
Occasionally we get to see 2 former beauty queens who look increasingly more and more like MEN.Sure you know who I'm talking about right?
Zzzzzzzzzz.

Miss Henry's too guarded,too obedient schoolgirl pageant type,always thinking of her best angles to show off to the camera that we can even spot her thinking just by looking at her eyes.Imagine that.

In short just a decorative piece of kayu....embedded with a brain that's constantly on THINK mode.
Wait a second....isn't that what makes a Bimbo?
Yeah now I get it.That's it.That's what's wrong.
A thinking bimbo always comes off worse than a Bimbo with nothing clouding her brains.Now don't get me wrong.She knows her stuff,but its the way she carries it off that makes her so downright uninteresting to watch.
You feel compelled to fondle some needles or sharp objects.

Miss Universe and Miss World have been under the same family like forever.
This year,the formerly baby fat girl who managed to slim down,dared put her last dollar down on Deborah.
Well baby,you may have won over the Lion city with your weight loss,but it really boils down to this...you lost your wager.
So don't go blaming it on Trump or anyone else.
Don't whisper we were robbed just cos Miss Angola  is a dark beauty.
You got your winning Singaporean copied surefire formula wrong.Like totally.
They want a woman who represents them,not one that you or your momma think best represents your (what you alone think )are your winning alter egos.
She may be stunning but has that very irritating look of great expectations where one feels she thinks everything is going to just fall into her lap.Acting like it were her fifth consecutive prom award night.

No amount of fiesty walking coaching sessions can mold her uberly ugly thighs when she walks.Funny cos it looks alright when she poses for the cameras.

Deb's got a pretty face alright,but she just doesn't have the IT factor.
All too nice yet meek and unconfidently nerdish till it comes off as too fake.

Conclusion :

Long as the same family stills holds on to both franchises,the results will be miserably the same.

Fail year in year out

Will & Kate or the IPad 2 bait?

April 29th marked 2 momentous moments in history on this side of the world.
The launch of the IPad 2 and the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
If one successfully queued for and managed to snare the IPad 2 from 6am(not the night before like in Kay El) they would become too engrossed fiddling with the gizmo,lovingly encasing it and heading to the nearest wifi outlet to show off,to give two hoots about how an ordinary girl with an ambitious former air stewardess mother managed to hook a prince.

A couple of outlets hosted live screenings of the event of the No2 in line to the British throne happening far,far away,while those number 13 in line in certain tech stores on the island became frustrated at not being able to purchase any units cos our kiamsap Penangites are truly cash rich and thus able to purchase in bulk the things they really like.

Food outlets anticipating the anglophiles had sparse,dismal crowds while the tech ones thinned out by 11am. It was pretty much the same everywhere else.
Her dress and the launch date itself were shrouded in over the top secrecy and though Apple didn't dissapoint,her b-o-r-i-n-g like dress that looks like one could find it at Bripex or a Jakarta toko did.Zzzzzzzzzzz.

The manner with which purchases were allowed to be conducted with regards to the device were food for thought.As the case with her too slim svelte figure so akin to Mattel's dark haired Barbie left a pretty dry taste our mouths.
Seems super slim was the new in and both Kate and her sis(oh the low neck was a sacrilege and did I not see her flirt with Harry?) were more preoccupied with showing off their figure to the world and proving that the two of them combined were skinnier than Steve Jobs' latest offering.

Those that hoped for a fabulous dress and a fairytale wedding were dissapointed.How plain and how ungrand it was of a person marrying into aristrocracy to do us watchers such an injustice.

If you had seen Diana's wedding,you would understand how she turned into a people pleaser prone to human err, that single handedly sparked mania and lifted the profile of the royal family starting on the day itself.
People are disquieted by the rumours swirling around that Kate was planted and pushed into baiting Diana's son .We hate seeing Diana's ring on her finger and we hate the unblushing bride's (cos they've been shagging each other for ages already)balcony kiss.In fact the only blushing girl visible was her bridesmaid sis exactly  at the length of time she had her arm around Harry.Geez.
Failure.Fizzle and Flop.

We loved Diana for all her faults.She was a trendsetter of her time.
It's easier to hate Kate for whatever anyone says,she's a copycat who dresses just like any fashionable lady on the streets of London and even in Rome.
Yea the ladies on these streets outshine those in Paris anytime these days.
Her face looks too perfect just like an on the way to becoming aneroxic version of Pia Toscano.Like beauty queen material for a prom night.The one that people want to hate already even for all of her mighty talents.
Regal?Not.Rehearsed? YES! Did you notice how she waved to the crowds?

How annoying on both counts being no.15 in the sea of madness that drove around for the next few hours so tempted to fly into kl just for a slice of an apple.
Sigh.
Not forgetting the chaos caused by torrential rains,flash floods and massive jams from here through to Butterworth today.
Gosh,what an unfruitful day it was.

A New Year,A New Beginning

Happy New Year to all Borhochiak readers.
Let's hope for no more Penang where not to eat places,
Some places bucked up,some took extended holidays,some couldn't cope with the sudden fame where customers whipped out their cameras to discreetly snap momentos and dissapeared off the radar to relocate to other places.
Once the crowd of outsiders/leave takers/school holiday makers/tourists/returnees etc started pouring in,yours truly fled to several other states...namely Perak,Kay El,Selangor and even to Kulim where I found the most overrated freshwater fish makan place on this entire planet that certain Penang establishments market by "word of mouth".It is a conjob I tell you.Don't you ever fall for that and don't worry I will divulge the details on Kulim later.
I would like to start the year by thanking you for reading this unconventional blog of mine that I started because I couldn't fit all of my rants onto my facebook posts.
You keep my fire burning even if you don't show your face.
Just in case you don't already know,the objective of my ramblings is to create awareness onto the hype that certain eating places listed here do not or should not deserve, as well as reveal unscrupulous food writers and bloggers.
The internet connected learn fast
There are less bloggers discriminately snapping away at their tables.They do it more discreetly now.This shows that these bloggers DO care about what people think of them and their writings.That they do take pains to improve and redeem themselves in our eyes.To them those much improved and caring,blogging community, I say a big thank you.
However I am sad to say that those who used to enjoy traditionally banging away at keyboards and submitting manuscripts,those who enjoy their names being out in print and plastered onto walls,those who revel in being treated like kings and queens at various joints have not.
The long established food writers,are a different kettle of fish.They are more interested in how to get in the editors good books and how to impress the owners of various borhochiak places with their previously published works or printmedia status.They have shown that they care more about fame than two cents about truthful reviews because they have enjoyed more trimmings off the silverware(equal to rasuah or corrupt practices if I dare say) than bloggers.Some have resorted to sneaky ways of ensuring that editors keep on taking their downright farce of a recommendation so that they can keep eating for free while making suckers out of all of us diners eager for new places to try.This bunch is so used to taking,that they now resort to desperately grabbing at whatever way possible to clamber and stay on top that it would be safe to summice that I(yes you heard right),I would rather trust a blogger than a newspaper or magazine food reviewer
To these bullheaded writers I wish you a one way ticket to Satan's buffet line in hell for 2011.A bit to harsh?Nah...don't pity them one bit,they deserve it for all the cons they've pulled.
Anyway,the fact that these buggers now know that WE know that THEY have taken us for a ride long enough,jumpstarted some changes.which is a good thing for Penang food lovers in the long run.
I start year 2011 with a toast to all of you readers,writers and bloggers..... both good and one helluva naughty who remain in the background silently reading all my nonsensey outpourings but truthfully borhochiak to the bone stuff,thanks for the change and thanks for caring.

T.I. - No Matter What (Video)

This goes out to all the food bloggers and journalists who like to take little potshots at me in their respective media.
Click on the arrow then click again on the "Watch On You Tube" link onscreen to open a new window.
Listen carefully.

The Evolving Borhochiaker

What the heck is this biatch rambling on about?
Why can't she find a single place where she can satisfy her appetite once and for all and spare the rest of us her agony of finding yet another borhochiak place?
It is people like you who spoil our tourism industry.

To readers of this blog,fans or unfans these are some of the 'fan mail' that I have received since starting this blog.I have done a little soul searching since.
I began unhappy that yet another recommendation fell short of expectations that I felt was totally misrepresented.It made me feel like a fool,and even more foolish to have recommended the place as well to other guinea pigs that tagged along with me.
We live in a food paradise.Is it too much to expect that the food operators conform to what we their customers want,expect and demand?Is it too much of us to cry foul when they compromise on the quality of food?
A food paradise where once upon a time food really used to be excellent because the operators were fuelled by pride not by profit.A place where those food sellers would feel ashamed if they churned up anything less than the best for their customers whom they truly appreciated ,worked hard for and filled them with pride when they saw us off with satisfied smiles.
Today it is a whole new different scenario altogether.Due to the food paradise label,even those who cannot cook have jumped in on the bandwagon from lesser known places,relocated here,started businesses when they actually should not.They hijack the Penang label and make the rest of us regular patrons hopping mad because hey,to us diners not bound by any food guidelines and hocus pocus,they are misrepresenting Penang food on the whole.
We feel that they are tarnishing the image of the state.
We are a state proud people.
We feel helpless that such a sacrilige can be allowed to fester.
Then we have the new phenomenon of bloggers,feted by clueless chefs and media representatives from all over the world,eager to have a slice to take home and brag about or to be an authority on Penang cuisine in their homeland,who should in my opinion not 100 percent rely on them for recommendations.
Why you ask?The bloggers are new to attention from various quarters,it gets to their bloated heads,free invites start to flow their way,they feel all important and think they are doing a great job of promoting the state.
However they are self bound by an unspoken rule not to post offensive* material so that their revenue won't be hurt.They may have no censorship in cyberspace but they sure know where to draw the line and end up not daring to tell it as it is for fear of offending certain parties i.e. the state tourism,the almighty restaurateurs,etc.This is where we the diners end up indirectly paying one way or another.
I only knew this after I started this blog.All those adverts that you see on their blogs are sponsors or contributors that allow them to lead a leisurely existence to continue writing in their favour as little cheques,vouchers,writing offers,judging appearances,interviews,jobs float in.
Look I am fed up with this whole charade.
Fed up with those once used to be great makan places that have so deteriorated.Which Malaysian doesn't know of any famous stall that if once passed down to their children suffers in terms of taste,quality,price and so on so forth?Which Penangite hasn't heard of the operator that sells a certain tidbit and managed to educated all his children overseas only to have them head back and takeover the tiny looking little business from him?
Fed up with being threatened by "you'll scare the tourists away".Come on Penang hawkers are not totally reliant on tourists.Most of us eat out almost daily and we are the core support for them.If they were totally reliant on tourists means something must have caused us locals to pull the plug on our patronage of their shops.Get real!
Fed up with being told to'eat somewhere else'.Why can't I make noise if I don't like it?Why can't I insist on quality?And why can't we insist on value for money?Why must we Penangites be forced to live with it because" it won't be good for tourism if you complain"?Why can't I say the place is borhochiak?Sheesh.

Bear with me as I am still trying to find a balance between which peeves me more, borhochiak places or borhochiak recommendations.At some point I felt as if I were the devil's advocate for daring to broach this untouchable,shove it under the carpet,topic.
If you can't,you can always press the little X button at the top right hand corner of your screen.
Or pretend to be a tourist that is faint hearted so that the detractors can triumphantly justify that I scared you away.

*just in case you didn't already know,this borhochiak blog is an offensive site to easily offended people who want to stubbornly defend publicly offensive food