Ferringhi Garden @ Batu Ferringhi

Where does Tarzan go when he wants to impress Jane and lure her away from KingKong ?

Here. Because the food is overpriced and Jane is supposed to be city babe. He thinks she likes big plates with itsy bitsy food so she needn't worry about ditching her diet plan.
Most important of all, he can feel right at home amongst the bushes and the fake brook.
If the enormous bill stresses him out and he needs some swinging exercise to burn off ,the pergolas at the back will do just fine.
Should he find the glassware boring, he can pull out a real monkey cup dangling from one of the vines. Nothing better than a shot of drowned insect juice to perk up the spirit of a homesick urban sakai.

Actually prawn behind the stone, is so that the Boss of the Jungle here, can make wang besar wang  besar and build big big treepenthouse mansions in the sky.

Basically you are paying for the army of thin thin workers, upkeep of the big big plants, the fuel for lighting the small small candles, around the long long bungalow, so you can see your tiny tiny meal on the large large plate.

Ranked as "the cleanest restaurant" , I absolutely agree, there is no argument here, so clean is this outlet, your wallet even gets a good spring cleaning afterwards.

The " Most Pleasant Restaurant" tag showered on them, is however highly argumentative because of the steam-y atmosphere here.Even where there is air conditioning, it is so useless,it might as well not exist. Temperature in every corner is like a desert safari from day to night.
The pleasant plants block the fans and hinder air movement till it feels like you are slowly being suffocated by a great big sinister twine force until you find yourself surrounded by a nipple gaping scenario where drenched silhouttes flit about to hypnotise you via candlelight.

Everyone from customers to staff, will feel uncomfortably warm. Either you don a thin sari or you will sweat sweat sweat like you are starring in a slow motion ,hazy ,equator porno flick.
Whoever said they don't feel warm here, must be big fat liars who parked themselves right in front of one of their floor fans .Or they Rexona-ed themselves from head to armpits to every single space in between their thighs and toes. Or they just flew in from sub zero climates with popsicle covered conifers .Maybe they had all their sweat glands removed.

When you look at the foreign staff, they all look malnourished and sickly. As if you just entered the Amazon basin and found yourself some hungry tribes.
You feel like an evil glutton. I mean how can you even have the heart to eat like a datuk when the servers all look so thin,pale,ill,underfed,undercared ,overworked.... like they contracted some unknown strain of yet to be undiscovered batuk.
The chefs on the other hand, are plumpish and well fed, cos perhaps they perfected the art of curi makan from our plates. I said perhaps.

So there you are, staring at your plate to forget the horror right in front of you,when you discover that everything has got some small purple plant or colourful flower somewhere on the plate,as well as on your food. At times, the flowers are certainly bigger than certain foods on your plate.
You will come to a point where you get suspicious and wonder if all of the decorative flowers and herbs are totally edible ? Not all I think. Maybe I am wrong or Maybe they get their workers to eat the flowers. To minimise wastage. Since eco is a new hip catchword. As well as increase fibre in their gut so they have more energy to sustain the night under such incredibly oven like quarters.

However, if you think your Ah Moi will like this place, you better make sure she comes in beachwear with a fast drying bikini set and has a hairstyle that can take constant blowing from the fans. Or she will not like you anymore, especially if she just spent 6 hours on the chair, enduring some expensive treatment at the saloon

Finally is the food nice ? Pompous looking average tasting hotel fare.

Drinks leh ? Makes you wanna thump your chest out and yell till the eagles evacuate the meromictic lake area.

Value leh ? Cherocherochero.

Atmosphere ? You pay good money to dine in a semi dark botanical nursery and help put anti perspirant companies on the Forbes list.

Price ?  Kong sized enough to make any jungle loose its virginity.

Hakka Tree @ Tesco Tg Pinang

Update :
Ooops...they hid the yong tau foo from being openly displayed in the glass panel counter now.
Therefore chances of you getting fooled are mighty high especially when they lure you with credit card partner tie ups offering attractive discounts

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Aaahhh....Hakka food.

When Tesco first opened its doors,I did take a peep at the counter.
Noticed they had yam abacus beads.A dish that signifies prosperity.Good,very good.
Lei cha.Not bad,not bad indeed.
Then I let my eyes trail off to inspect the yong tau foo counter.No No No.

One can already see it came straight from the wet market.Not in the least handmade.
To fall for fishpaste this white and perfectly uniform is to put it plainly .....sheer stupid.They could have bought it at the Greenlane market at 5pm and just quick boiled it for dinner themselves.Or taken the time to deep fry it.

Why these people below complained so much when it was displayed in front of the shop,for all to see is beyond me.It's not as if they hid it behind the counter and pulled a fast one.Plus the menu is at all times placed right smack there for everyone to see.
However,the fact their prices are over the top is indeed cause for concern.

If and when I want to eat the closest rival to great yong tau foo,I head over to butterworth,and satiate my longing at a famous stall reknowned for other dishes except for yong tau foo.
Yes,I would travel far for a mere meal.If not,a weekend jaunt in Ipoh,or go all the way to Ampang New Village.
Those on the island are really plain,tasteless,bad,smell-less, weird,awfully unsatisfying and incomplete. In some other small villages away from the usual places and usual cities,there are hidden little gems which I am most certainly not gonna reveal.Only after YEARS of acquaintance will the new villagers trust you enough,to admit you to their perplexingly well hidden night makan spot,far away from town,right smack in the middle of a jungle.And boy do they make the Ampang version look mediocre.Heaven!

From the way things are going,looks like instead of counting abacus beads all the way to the bank,the boss of ...let's call it H.T., will have to see the bank counting theirs in front of him instead.

Happy reading.

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Excerpts and Customers Feedback Pinched Off Facebook

Angie Lau :

better dont go, yong tau hu expensive, so so only...also the Lei Cha is very cha...not nice at all

Sharma Loh Guan Tian :

yes ...tried Lei Cha there a bit "x" ...so so ...only

Carol Lim :

Don't waste time

Mavis Koay Yong :

It's just normal Yong tau foo. Cost a bomb RM 90 for just some stupid Yong Tau Foo!!! The food is not even HOT and fresh!!! Go food court can get those at below RM10! Stupid place!

Paul Looi :

wow! This owner must have offended many customers or he really needs to change his kitchen staffs.( sad)好看，不好吃!Chia Lat!

Priscilla Ju Ek Tan :

Super Expensive & super lousy food!!!!! Even my 4 yr old daughter also didn't wanna eat their food!!!!

Wendy KWT :

dont need to step in already know the food not really good and the price showed on the menu at the entrance ... rocket price!

Bali Hai @ Gurney Drive

Their motto is "If it swims we have it".But what I want to add after the end of the meal is..."Ya,but even after you cook it,I still don't like it"

Looks pretty impressive from the outside with pockets of ang mohs in neckties and luxury cars  but is typical chinese restaurant chaos on the inside.Table clearers are a busy,frustrated and harassed lot.Order takers are on the same plateau.

Well if the ang mohs and expat customers like the Japs,Chinese nationals and Indons are any indication.....they speak a thousand words about the food here.

It's a great place if one is particularly hankering after a specific seafood or species of fish.
Great place if you wanna impress a client with the erm...lively seafood aquariums atmosphere awaiting you to pick the next victim for slaughter.
But I find the food rather plain,terribly boring,totally uninspired.... with less salt and no aji used.

Although the portions are huge and value for money compared to the standard pathetic servings dished out by most places on the island,you will be unable to finish it cos there is simply no uumph to their dishes.

Fish may be fresh but I really do not like to dine on fish kept in tanks that have been treated in anti chlorine,anti fungal,anti itch and anti the seafood dying before you choose them to eat,premarinated in chemicals sold in any Koi shop.

Shellfish can sometimes contain one or two bad ones among the good which I find not cool in the least.So not cool.

Their supposedly famous fried kangkong belacan is famously awful,not in the least fragrant,too oily and totally borhochiak.I felt like a goat munching on oily,old,fibrous weeds after they got entangled in a longkang annexed to a geoduck tank.

Fried rice is worse than most school canteen's,a complete disgrace to fried rice and a most regretful order.

There is no airconditioning cos it is an open air concept.
Ventilation and cooling systems are not bad but is little help battling against the constant pollution spewing traffic passing by,and no use at all against enzyme mudball ravaged Gurney Drive beach that turned into an ugly eyesore of a mudflat after two volunteer to fling episodes.

Not impressed in the least.
Good place to fleece someone you don't like or put it on the kiamsap company's bill,
yet you still won't walk away with a satisfied smile
cos frankly speaking the food makes me wanna swim 6 feet under
and Neptune walk on land just so he can sock it to em

Chin's Stylish Cuisine @ QEII, Weld Quay

I'll be brief.Not worth too much mention unless you wanna impress someone..........badly.
First they want to be luxurious then they want to be affordable.Seems like they're trying to get both segments of diners just in case one of them gives up.The rich in Penang mostly kiamsap and would prefer people to belanja them so they already did their research and know it's the middle class that they could probably(I said could and probably too) count on to keep the business going.
So they rattle off one after another corporate account,ada nama,ada gaya, that turn up and state that they are fully booked bla bla bla(cos you got no space mah).
And they expect the middle class to go like "Waaaah!So waaahnderfool !" or the kiamsap rich to excitedly shriek "Let's go try it.Quick call the water fish that's been bugging us to buy something like insurance,investments etc etc or our accountant or our staff and get them to belanja us"
Luxury is luxury,you don't compromise on it and make luxury affordable.That's plain ridiculous.It's like living in an attap house with versace fittings or having a butler tail you around with a silver platter as you take a stroll at the Esplanade.

Now if you look beyond the grandeur,and use common sense deduction you will find that
1. They are from London(chinese food in London bechiak wan)
2. They were there in 1987(so why come here ah?)
3. Their overseas awards got no year attached
4. Penang got no Starhill for the royalty,rich and famous.This is like Starhill in a shoebox,a place where hoipois hope to entertain without middle class scumbag diners in their midst

Nasi Padang @ Transfer Road (What You Should Know)

It is Expensive compared to Nasi Kandar.
One small piece of beef rendang is $2.50.In Nasi Kandar outlets it's only $1.50.
Nowadays they sometimes remain open till 8pm(on the rare occasion till 10pm) cos they cannot finish selling due to less customers cos of pricing.
Be prepared to fork out $30 for 3 pax to eat...........
ONE medium sized fried onion topped ikan Cencaru sumbat sambal,2 fried chicken,2 beef rendang,1 brinjal,some ulam n 2 bergedil.
If you follow the prices stated on the menu and do a simple math it just doesn't add up.
Reason being after you self serve and scoop your own dishes,they will ask you to sit down and then simply overcharge cos only a quarter of the way into your meal,will they look at your plate and start making guesses.
No you won't find them turning over your plate to see if you have stashed anything.They will presume you did and charge you according to their whims and fancies.How come they dare to do this?I will reveal further down.
However most of their customers hardly argue over the price.
Beggars can't be choosers.
They simply hold back and swallow this overpriced crap.
Don't think the fat short lady isn't stuck up.The whole lot of them are.It's only when they have less customers for the day(lunchtime is the peak,by dinner which is around 5/6 they start panicking)where a ton of dishes still line the shelves that you will see this ugly side of them.The fattie will start a lecture on the economics of their business and who is gonna pay for them and do you think it is easy to make a profit/maintain her business/keep her staff/buy the ingredients/pay the suppliers and what are they gonna do if they don't sell all their dishes bla bla bla bla.Gimme a break.
What do they think we customers are by acting as if we should take their crap lying down and help them pay for their gamble of over anticipating customer turnout?
So in short they dare to simply overcharge because it is like saving for a rainy day where customer turnout is lower.
We their customers owe them that and don't you forget this.

It's popular cos only 2 or 3 stalls at the most are selling this on Penang island.
(everytime someone tried to set up a new Minang/Padang/Sumatran stall from Tg Tokong to Bukit Jambul it failed miserably don't know why)
unlike if you were to travel to Perak/KL/Selangor/N.Sembilan where there are countless Minang stalls of the same standard as this n much cheaper.

Taukay soh selling drinks is extremely rude.
always frowning and with no manners obssessed with keeping tabs on her various price signs and where did you put the spoons offensive so unlike her friendly and easy going son.
If you have the habit of taking out your spoon from your cup and leaving it on your table,this highly irritable person will push with her hands through your table to retrieve it cos she thinks everybody is a spoon thief or will curtly ask you(like she were accusing you) where you put the damned spoon.
She likes to chuck,fiddle or fling the price sign and won't leave you alone till the darned drinks are paid.
Then after you have paid you still won't be rid of her cos she is keeping a hawk eye on her ''PAID" sign seeing that everybody is a suspected sign thief too.
If you dare move it out of the way she will interrogate you like a child or again push through your table to plonk the darned sign where she can see it.
Her bloody walls are so bloody plastered with her bloody decorated children it makes me wonder why she treats her nice and considerate but undecorated son like a piece of shit while the decorated rest are MIA(his picture is not up there by the way)
*forgive my rudeness but she so bloody hell deserves this cos this little drama repeats itself each visit without fail.No one in their right mind would stop by her shop for a drink if not for the we-owe-them-a-living Nasi Padang stall.

Teik Seng aka Teksen @ Lebuh Carnavon

I used to frequent their old corner lot shop once in a while for some really great kam heong dishes,braised trotters,soups and gulais.
Back then the environment wasn't as pleasing to the eye as it is now yet it was a really charming place to eat no matter how frenzied the kitchen was.
Regulars knew their short operating hours like the back of their hands and the ample parking space at the adjacent lot catered to that.
This was essential for there was a sizeable crowd that descended here both lunch and dinner time eager to fulfill their cravings before they closed their doors twice a day.
Now the busy kitchen is shut out of sight behind some saloon like doors and there is no need to fight for a parking space except when you come during lunch hour because of the hive of activity spilling over from the streets flanking this lane.
Today,they look like one of those sterilised heritage diners in Singapore complete with nice dim lights and a cash register system.The tables and chairs don't creak,nor do they shake or rattle on an uneven surface like the metal ones in the old outlet.
Fed up with having their clients hovering around waiting for a table they are now housed in two shoplots and have adopted a kopitiam look.
To put it bluntly some suckers had to pay for all the nice fittings,modern systems,the expansion and maybe even the mortgage.
A meal at a full serving chinese restaurant near Macalister Road costs equal to here.Did I mention that the full serve restaurant has air conditioning,billowy tablecloths,carpetting,a beautiful waitress,peanuts as starters and tongsui at the end?Fat hopes you'll enjoy all these extras at Teik Seng.
Illogical but true....the reasonably priced place has turned comparatively expensive.
This explains why most diners are ordering less dishes than before when every table was laden lavishly with food.
To give you another indication of how much more they cost today,I even came across a towkay and his wife having just one dish of vegetables with two plates of rice between them.Nothing else.

Next we come to what people don't tell you about this place.
If you love the way the Cantonese prepare steamed fish elsewhere,you will think that what they offer here is not exactly fresh.Well this fishy taste is totally acceptable to Penangites partly because they do not adopt cooking techniques that aim to get rid of the associated smell.
Like they say,the instant you allow the blood to trickle into its stomach lining,it is gone fut.In the old place every table used to be graced by a steamed fish dish which strangely only I found appalling(maybe I have had too good a life) yet was thoroughly enjoyed by others to the bones with nary a sliver left for the cats.Flash forward only a smattering would even think of doing so this present day.
Let's just say you absolutely must have it here,try to opt for a deep fried version.
Another typical Penang dish which every table will be enjoying today is their pork fried in thick soya sauce and cili padi.This dish evokes memories of childhood for it was something that our mothers would expertly cook.
Now if you like pork,you'd know that the instant it stays a mite too long in the fridge(one day is enough to do the damage)the fat will turn a hint rancid.If you are accustomed to cooking or eating only freshly bought pork,avoid requesting for this.
In a nutshell they shouldn't have expanded.
The dishes that I so loved are just as good but why the heck would I want to eat here when it costs as much as a nice full serve restaurant?
They should have just stayed put in that tiny lot,we would have enjoyed the stress of making it here in time,having peeks at the cooks,politely hovering before finally being rewarded by eating like it was a great reunion and everybody would be just happy.

Victoria Station @ Bayan Baru

This place is known for its steaks with a Malaysian touch.Rumour has it that this owner set up a certain grill for the Filipino lady owner that lies nearby to it somewhere in KL.How they are connected is fodder for juicy gossip.
For a change we decided to order something else.
The last time we were this adventurous here,we ended up with a mountain of unfinished Bombe Alaska. that ants would delight having a ski off in.
Never ever attempt this dish unless you wanna get shivers just looking at the word for the rest of your life.
It is as though a piece of Mount Himalaya masturbated with a bar of white and brown chocolate and then exploded on your plate.It takes 4 persons to finish this desert and if you order this for your candle light dinner your ahmoi won't forgive you cos she think you wanna make her fat!Don't know if it is still on the menu.Didn't care to check.
We became more clever this time around.
We attempted not one but two lobster combos.Both different variations.I mean how wrong can you go with an extravagant dish like this eh?When it arrived our table fell silent.Far from looking extravagant it looked like even lobsters have their midget clan.Try to remember the following keywords Surf & Turf and also Thermidor.They are absolutely NOT good at these dishes.
In the first place it had the palor of uncooked lobster.It looked so forlorn with no sauce except for the unappetizing topping that was so off colour no amount of photoshopping could save it from being destined for the dustbin.Frankly this lobster combo was not value for money compared to their steaks.
What we got was half of a tiny disected slipper lobster that's had its meat taken apart,then chopped up then put back in shell and topped off with a mushy foamy frothy cheese topping that looks like something an octopus sperm from the Kraken vomitted after chewing light yellow seaweed.
Let's sum it up in a nutshell.
They aren't good at chicken dishes (it's just ok only) and their salads are just as bad.As for their baked potatoes Chicago at Gurney is heads above anytime.
Just stick to their steaks though I must warn you it takes some getting used to at first if you are accustomed to American grills.

Gem Restaurant @ King Street

I love Indian restaurants and when some newspaper declares this the best,it had better be as good as they say it is.
Scanning through the menu I notice that they offer both south and north indian dishes.So I pull the usher aside and ask him where the chef is from.Armed with that knowledge I make my entrance.
This being dinner time,it was quite unusual for the restaurant to be empty so I figure that it must be due to the fact that they now have an amazingly cheap lunch promo as evident from the flyers near the door.
I didn't expect to be sitting around admiring the staircase,pillars,paintings and statues.I expected something better than the rather plain wooden tabletops and chairs I had plonked down on, because after all some had labelled this a place for fine indian food.I want to be admiring my tableware and place where I am seated at too.
Then we signal the supervisor...Kalavele*!
He turns out to be as stiff as a Punjab doorman guarding the Taj Mahal who just got injected with botox and cannot attend to us the only customers in sight.That kinda job he leaves to his lesser mortals to do.
After much head jiggling we decide on Kerala fried fish,Chettinad chicken,some thousand spice mutton,rice,tandoori set and chai.
As we waited for the food an unexplainable feeling swept over us.The place is uncomfortable in an unexplainable way.You know places where you silently wipe your mouth and drum your fingers on the table because you somehow feel like not talking?This place is like that.
Anyway the mutton arrives and looks like it got rolled over many times by a steamroller with edible fur on.I think it turned out this way because there were so few diners that they had to reheat it many times.For a thousand spice dish,it was not very tasty,it was hot,and spicy but had no kick.
The chettinad chicken was not too bad.
The fish felt like deep fried dory that melts upon contact with our tongue coated with spicy flour.Regret.
The tandoori set was ok.
I asked for plain chai(tea) but they give me spicy one cos they think I wanna,I wanna,I wanna be Spice Girl.This is something that takes a while to get used to.
The rice was fluffy alright but only because it was steamed and still wet(almost soggy) with water droplets.This is expected of banana leaf cuisine but not restaurant standard food.Not nice.
We begin to tuck in like rolling trains but end up three quarters of the way stalled at the station,fiddling and playing one two jus with our food.See,the food here is sooooooo filling.
Now this just comes to show that however blogged about eating and ordering so much food here, must have been nibbling like a rodent.Cos you see,my dining partner is a ravenous eater that can demolish two steaks to smitherens but he couldn't even finish his portion of rice can you imagine?
I wanted to turn into Rajni and throw the recommender to a rubbish heap in Tamil Nadu.What a Kudigeren**!
Next when the bill comes you won't dance like Shah Rukh Khan but you will realise why the supervisor needs to look like kayu face ,in order to deter any protests
Pluses are your breath after eating here will smell sweet and you can skip two meals after this one.It is that filling!

*I have no idea what this means.All I know is that it sounds good and gets Indian peoples eyebrows up as well as confuses them at the same time.You must say this with your hands as if you are sprinkling some water at another person.With this one you can frown as you say it.Oh,and don't forget to shake your head like how they say yes,while you are at it too.
**this one is a rude term.Do not utter this without a smile.If you say this without a smile you are asking for a parang to come after you.The safest and least offensive way to demonstrate exactly how you feel is to cover your forehead with one hand,throw your head back and smile/laugh as you utter it.Stick the other hand straight out as if you mean "apa lah lu"

Chicago Rib House @ Gurney Plaza

Please do not dine here indoors dressed in a thick sweater or you will look like you need an anti perspirant spray.Infants will find the ventilation here quite unbearable and anyone wearing sleeves will definitely need a fan.I think the problem lies with the air cond system.It may have an auto shut off system in order to save on electricity bills.On top off that the busy kitchen has no door and I think the heat from there inadvertly affects the dining area.After you break into a sweat only does the darned wind outlet blow some cool air.And just as you're tucking into your meal again you will start feeling like you want to strip down to your underwear.
Food here on the overall is ok.Standard fare for a grill/steak outlet.You can't really go wrong with a grill.Dishes with batter or crusts here is not bad too.No complain.
I can't comment on their signature dishes like their ribs cos ribs are not my favourite food so it won't be fair of me to pass any judgement.
Can't say the same about the items on their menu that are smeared or basted with BBQ sauce.They not only fail to rise to the occasion,they're totally uninspiring unlike their competitor across the walkway which can tweak the sauce to perfection on most dishes.
There is no kids menu because it's printed on the black and white,rather complicated for those below 3 years below,unattractive activity sheet that they pass onto kids from the entrance onwards.They expect them to complete the activities with their fingernails dipped in tabasco sauce.There is no writing instrument provided unless you bug them for it.And when they do,what you get is some large blunt broken crayons unsuitable for scribbling their way out of a tiny maze.
I am finding fault with some of their side dishes because somehow something is missing and they simply do not compliment the main courses.
Their coleslaw would make a rabbit delighted.It is almost barren of sauce,has almost no taste and worst of all their cabbage has deteriorated or not been kept at the right temperature in the fridge leading to cabbage sweat smell.
The french fries may be made from real potatoes yet somehow I can't put my finger on what is wrong here.It's not fragrant unlike their jacket potatoes and I don't understand why.
Next they placed the sweetest smiling girl outside to usher in customers,then you sit down,you'll face some very serious staff that are the complete opposite of the sweet miss outside because they're concentrating so much on their job you might think they were undergoing a practical exam.
Lastly I can't comprehend why they only play the sports channel permanently.Haven't they noticed that most of their customers are females or serious shopperholics?

Oriental Food Stall @ opp Red Rock Hotel,Jln Macalister(lunch and dinner)

Update September 2011 :
An unofficial boycott by the islanders and regulars has taken effect I presume due to the exorbitant prices.Business has dwindled,foods cannot sell out at all and they are now forced to offer catering services.You have been warned
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1.This is by far the MOST expensive economy rice stall in penang island

2.You are absolutely NOT allowed to scoop the dishes yourself.The lady that handles the counter is of bouncer size so think again before you reach for the scoop

3.If you have eaten great gulais and fine penang foods in your friends homes MOST LIKELY they,their moms and their grandma,all cheated and tapau from here so you think they can cook this well

Edo Ichi Japanese restaurant @ Island Plaza

1. Never order from their special offer menu.Quality is greatly compromised

2. Is same owner as Azuma in Queensbay so do go easy on the green tea.It is of high quality which will over cleanse/detox your body into over expelling lotsa stuff from your body

3. female patrons that sit in the glass window showcase room ,have the annoying habit of flashing passing shoppers super slutty looks cos they think they are Jolin Tsai or Angelina Jolie or both !

Chok Dee Thai @ Jln Burma

1. Expensive ! Dishes belong more to home cooked/economy rice category therefore to me the price is not justified.So I guess we are being charged for the interior decor

2. Green curry is more to Teochew-Phuket style which shows that the chef is absolutely clueless as to what good food should taste like

3. Red curry dishes have been watered down.

4. Clear tomyam is more lengkuas base than anything else

5. Lady boss looks like scary Thai version of Joan Collins

6. NEVER EVERRRR order the water chestnut dessert.It's absolute rubbish.The mettle of a thai chef is measured by the ability to master desserts.My guess is he never graduated.

Ocean Green Seafood Restaurant (Baked Crab with cheese)@ Jln Sultan Ahmad Shah

If you follow what we did and waited till we had finished all of the other dishes before digging into this baked crab...my advice..DON'T!
This is the single worst baked crab I have ever had in my life.It made me wanna plunge into a volcano so that I could emerge transformed into Ultraman to single handedly destroy the cook.

This misadventure started off from another blog recommendation.You know?the kinda blog with nice pictures and whose owner possessed a nice,kind and wise face?Well lets just say that I had heard of this place before from other people.It was supposed to be the place to go for crabmeat served in its shell.I had resisted many times until I read the blog and then one day i said what the heck let's go.

We arrived and fell in love.It had an old world charm to it that was very colonial with the added bonus of the dining area being directly next to a beach.So fast forward we didn't have much hassle waiting for our meal because we were the first table of diners.We sifted lazily through the spring chicken,soup etc all the while eyeing the pile of crabs as it was supposed to be the highlight finale of the entire meal.

Then once everyone had finished we politely took a shell each and prodded.One of our table even exclaimed "wah! still smoking hot".I did the same.Lifted up the coating of cheese and took a swab of the delicacy beneath.Oh my gaaaawwwddd!!!Where's the tam poi?It was a big mash of overnight kept in the fridge flower crab meat that completely reeked with an unfresh stink so unfitting the end of a nice meal here.And what was that inside the mess?if I am not mistaken pork mince and mayonaise and gooey cheese.oh yucks I really regretted this.

If you have had the privilege of dining on scrumptious crab in a shell from Cherating or Kijal this one dish now makes me aware of why there aren't more places selling this dish in penang.It's because they can't,don't,never have and never will master this dish.

Do yourself a favour if you ever eat here.Not only will this dish burn a hole in your pocket it will also make you burn with the outrage at this wannabe YouCanCookSoCanI sham of a dish.So never order this dish.

Spice Market Dinner Buffet @ Rasa Sayang Hotel

Yes I know this is 5 star but I oso know many islanders whose tastebuds have never been assaulted by anything more foreign than american pizzas and fast foods.DO NOT read further if you do not belong to this category.
Cuisine from all over the world is VERY AUTHENTIC here so very... bo ngam chiak cos

1.italian pasta is xtreme rich n jelak.Delicious looking vege n seafood full of olive oil n vinegars

2.penang curry mee use hongkong/beijing chilli paste which is hotter and coarser and not so flavourful

3.parisian seafood is served very icy cold n lau sai wan with no taste.you have to depend on sauces at the counter according to your liking.

4.sushi not fresh like japan.Ok that's too much to ask but then tempura prawn is using the cheap kinda jelly like prawn that if the char kuay teow man were to use sure no customer wan

5.just stick to the indian n malaysian dishes is best