Soon Lai Seafood Restaurant @ Lintang Batu (Night)

The food here is, I would say cheap,though not as cheap as Bukit Tambun mind you.
Because of that the crowd here is...... well,a swelling tide depending on the time of day.
Waiting period can be long but isn't so bad that you have to start knitting.

There are open air tables for smokers and a partially air conditioned indoor area, for non smokers which now and then attracts bloody lunatics, who like to park their asses in here and puff away.

The thing about this place is,it sometimes attracts some fat rich indian customers.
They talk very loudly, bragging about the datuks they know,which datuk is coming to join them for dinner and really order a heck of a lot of food.
Actually when the ushers ignore them,they'll throw status,dollars as well as their booming voices,just to get their way.Not used to waiting I tell you.
If you have the misfortune of being seated next to them,be prepared to hear incessant whinings and demands from this brat pack.

In one incident,a poorer chinese family was asked to vacate seats that they waited half an hour for, leaving the old folks hoping mad,the wife sour faced,husband with no face left and the baby bawling.

Service can be a bummer if you are unlucky.Some never get their food, depending on which order taker you get.

Drink maker needs to be harassed constantly,or you will never get it, cos its a madhouse in there I tell you.Some customers resort to waiting right outside the doorway just to self deliver their own drinks.

The Bad

Crabs -ok only.Downright hated the sauce.But their regulars lap it up like there's no tomorrow
Bayam thng-nice but too tiny a portion.However the taste can fluctuate from bowl to bowl.
Thai roasted Pork leg-too sweet,regretfully chewy sinewy crap that's mouthfuls of ligament fat after cellulite fat after half melted cartillage fat,with a faint whiff of pig sty perfume.Just gross!
Nestum whatever -is bleaugh...a whole tin of oily mangled unidentified nestum fart,garnished with bay leaves.

The Good

Crabs- not very expensive,quite fresh.
Kamheong lala -ok
Steamed kapah-sweet,tinged with chinese wine
Curry dishes-robust,fragrant,mouthwatering,very spicy,hot

Sin Kim Sun @ Macalister Road (Night)

Woodfire Pizza
Should be renamed ONE HOUR PIZZA.
The sweet dear looking plump little short grandma that looks like Santa Clause's chinese wife, is so fond of giving you a railroad straight faced pityless reply ,when you ask her how long it will take before your order arrives.
If you have a handsome manly charismatic head turning gorgeous looking man with you,let him pimp himself to both of your advantage(the trick is to never stand next to him when he is making the order) and she might(if he's her type) rush her hubby to rush the order to you in half the time.
I am not kidding.
Once you get your order,you will have to gobble down the sizzling ooh aah hot pizza fast or it leaks oil like a petronas reserve.
Anyway,fans like their pizza because it's baked in a wood fired open air brick oven .
Other than the generous toppings and reasonable price,many do get turned off by the thick layer of oil and excrutiating waiting time.

Pork broth stall
The lanky tall guy was doing perfectly fine on his own churning out bowl after bowl happily until the lady took over the stove.
She gets flustered and harassed easily and just cannot handle too many orders.
The offal sold here is unlike Kampung Malabar and Yi Garden.
It pongs like a terrible pig sty which makes me wonder just what chemicals the other two used to get rid of the porky smell.

Satay Stall
The size of the lady owners shirts and skirts have grown with her size and her age
but the size of the satay itself has shrunk down same as with the intensity of the marinade.

Wantan Mee Stall
Boric acid crap
unless you wanna believe the poster that touts this as the best wantan mee on the island

Fish Head Noodle Stall
Fairly new,the old couple exchange many low volumed squabbles over almost everything.
She throws in the ingredients,he fries,daughter serves with a disturbing plank face.Very cute to watch despite their frequent tiffs.
Increasing in popularity day by day.

Fish Head Curry Stall
One of the most good looking couple to operate a stall on the island.Both extremely fair with sharp features.She looks like a painting,he with one of the blackest head of hair I have ever seen.
Together they churn out a killer sweet version of fish head/seafood curry a lot of people head here for.

Curry Mee Stall
Not your typical Penang curry mee,this one is super drowning in oil,extremely oily and comes with chopped curry chicken parts.His wife runs the Hokkein mee stall (different from the famous morning stall)

CKT
Located right at the entrance yet very unnoticeable.

Western Stall
All orders come with a piece of deep fried oil soaked bun.You can request for a plain bun.
They sell out so fast these days,that you need to come fairly early.Their chicken chop(its done hainanese style) is one of the best that can beat a whole lot of other operators on the island.

Grill Stall
I find their off days totally baffling.Maybe they mean to confuse you so you remember to come back and eat with a vengance

Chicken Wing Stall
Cockudoo hairstyle old man has gone MIA.Haven't tried the new operator yet.

Double Boiled Soup Stall
Where one can find Iguana and tortoise soup right smack in the middle of Georgetown.

Kopitiam
Drinks are so so.Equipped with some of the most hardworking staff on the island.
Overall condition : inside slightly better than Yi Garden except for the front portion cos the various stall operators have the habit of dumping washings and discards into the surrounding drains.And that's gross

Curry Mee @ Lebuh Chulia (Night) 2011

Have deleted my earlier post and converged it with a new one cos there have been changes since then

Earlier Posting
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The food here is actually good.ingredients super damn fresh

HOWEVER beware of the scheming lady boss who never likes to return your change until you remind her about it and then she'll pretend and even apologise profusely after that.

I have eaten here more than 20 times and all those more than 20 times she has repeated this act without fail.I wan give her Oscar

2011 Posting
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The curry mee here has changed tremendously.The kick from the rempah is still there.However you need to get an extra scoop of rempah from the seller if you like yours as hot as mine.
The cheat lady boss is no longer to be found.The 60 something male owner now has three younger male helpers,one with dyed hair.All surrounding the stall in a half moon circle as if they are waiting for the pot of boiling kuah to go into a trance and reveal some misty empat ekor numbers to these Knights of the Chulia Street Stable.
The curry mee nows comes with globs of foamy oily little things floating on top,gross as the contents of drains around Cecil Street,the stall chaotic as ever.
Couldn't find any pig's blood nor prawns this time around.
But no complains about the cuttlefish,cockles n taupok.No complains that is about freshness in particular.Presentation wise the taupok looks like a facial cotton soaked in toner.Must add that they now have fishballs overboiled till they are transformed into golf ball sized testicles.
You need a few spoons before your tastebuds get accustomed to this saltier version of curry mee so unlike the majority that are sweet.

As for the wantan mee just next to the curry mee,you can smell the boric acid from miles away.This I have not touched for years.

Last time I forgot to add that,the adjoining fruit juice stall is still churning out probably the most value for money fruit juice in the whole of Penang like an asylum.
The juices(most popular being watermelon) compliments the curry mee so well since they really give you a lot of fruit inside and it really helps douse the fire like a hydrant.
The people that run this stall live on high tension wires.Constant squabbles about who got the order wrong are the order of the day.Just wear mufflers and ignore them cos they do treat customers better than themselves.

Anyway,this street bar is so cheap that stingy backpackers will allow themselves this dirty drain clogging little 'luxury' out of their pathetic travellers budget and make a beeline for this stall.

So cheap that some Starbucks like wannabes clutching Kelly style handbags at the area above the elbow(you know?those that charge into MNG sales?)will park their butt here so long,YOU actually age like Rumpelstiltskin by the time they leave.
Couple that with the porcelained skinned ones that come here for a cheap antioxidant while slooshing up on the cholestorol busting curry mee means that some of these beauties have an attitude to match Snow White's Stepmother.

Out of all,I think I saw the worst one today.
There was this trio of mismatched family members,one thin as a satay stick,the other a short midget and a podgier aunty Ah Lian, hovering behind this particular couples table waiting for them to finish and go.
You see,people here in Malaysia only do that when you are on the last teethers of your final scoop of soup and sip of drink.This is perfectly acceptable.
Those that were fine schooled in this street food etiquette,before the advent arrival of those blasted US kopitiams, know exactly how to respond.
They quickly finish up and leave,sometimes flashing you a kind smile and patting down the chair next to them with their hand and a nod of their heads,as an indication,urging you to sit before they even finish.

But just what did the Overweight Lady Gaga customer do?
Plain uneducated,typical double degree holder,rude.
To the chagrin of the fruit juice stall owner who was trying her best to get them a seating space,the Wicked Witch missing a mirror,lifted up one badly self manicured fingernail like a magic wand and haughtily ordered another cup of juice because she didn't want to give up the best seat on the roadside.
Hmmm...if it were me I would have tipped something on top of her fattiness and her ugly boyfriends pockmarked face.

Yes beware of haughty,very fair skinned,young,middle class,callously uncaring local female diners in your midst on the streets of Chulia.
These Donkey Damsels won't shift an inch,even if you are about to give birth cos they honed the 'kutu'* attitude sharing ONE drink amongst 6 BFFS (got no shame,even dare to give interview to newspaper some more) at an american coffee joint.

The male version of this strange chair and table hogging species don't score so high in the looks department.They mostly get up to their tricks in mid range and family restaurants especially during special discount days or occasions where there is a huge influx of desperate table seeking diners.
Oh,and these Adhesive attached to their buttocks Asses misbehave like this only in same sexed pairs.
To be fair to my own kind,I shall share the men's equivalent story with you.

One Valentine's,two men were enjoying a moment together at Chili's Gurney.
Ignoring the long waiting line(this outlet does not take reservations),where the sweating but trying to keep a cool face ushers, had a hard time coping,
they sat there so long from the time we stood in line for an hour,till after we had finished our meal and left,they were still warming their seats like a pair of father hens,
I am sure they both laid a human ovum and fertilised dinosaur egg to take home as a momento to hatch slowly at their own pace, each.

*kutu-a deragatory term,that means parasite,coined by the f&b industry directed at young male customers below the age of 30,that sit too long,never topping up their one single drink order,always asking the waiter for more ice to turn into water,because most times they have very little money to spare.

But in Penang it means a middle class to rich parasite,below the age of 40,that stubbornly sits there the whole time,trying to look like they are having a great time,taking great glee in causing distress in making one less seating space available,always eyeing people's reactions from the corner of their eyes.
They probably take the Rapid bus,drive an Alphard,Hyundai Startex,BMW,Honda Civic,Camry,second hand Cooper or a beat up Kenari.
These Penang Kutus won't bat an eyelid at the various hints dropped(from cleared tables to the bill presented,nothing shakes them),because they think they are entitled to squeeze whatever timeframe they think is worth the monies they paid to make up for whatever miniscule amount they spent on their meal/drink.
They will only leave when there are no more customers waiting to get in cos there is no more fun in it left for them then.

Nasi Kandar @ next to small graveyard in Pekan Bayan Lepas (day)

1. You have never seen more patient,hungry,determined people,quietly waiting for the next batch of fish kuah and ayam goreng to come out,as if you were now in Ethopia

2. Once it arrives,whoooshh the crowd surges forward with plates of rice,plastic bags,food carriers, to grab the goodies like it were free.Chaos!

3. You have to line up 4 times here at peak hours.
once to get your rice,then to scoop,then pay,last get your drinks.

4. Don't wear light coloured clothing here.They're bound to get stained by curries from the counter to being grazed by other customers plates while lining up to pay or on the way to your table

5.You might end up like me,swept up by the mania and addicted for life to the underspiced,watery,lightly sourish,nothing much to shout about,but why do I salivate at the thought of it,fish curry