Food Gallery @ Penang Times Square

10/6/2011
Tried the nice looking pork noodles (in the picture)at the fish head noodle stall and found it to be utter rubbish.The lady is in her fifties with a few grandkids hanging around yet cannot cook for the life of her.The noodles are coated in boric acid and the sauce is utterly hopeless.The sawi also tastes of boric acid. Big yucks! The pork had been restewed couple of times and has been left out to air dry.Doesn't look anything like the reddish looking one in the picture above her stall

27/5/2011
The fairytale has crumbled.The wifi is apparently off at times.Plus I would like to inform you that the thai station does not offer pineapple fried rice anymore cos their cowboy lady managress is a fickle person.
An encounter with her is like bumping into the Cruella De Ville of the International Foodcourts.
Because this is a male dominated sphere,she acts like an SIA air stewardess here strutting her tush about as she rudely brushes past customers to collect monies,pamphlets,arrange the acrylic info cards top of every counter etc etc.This creature from Uranus sometimes wears a fitting collared tee with the word Coffee Island on it and flirts with every male staff.
Now this is a turn off.

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No don't groan.Not just yet.
I came here ready to condemn again but was pleasantly surprised when I discovered that this place has

1. very courteous,efficient foreign worker floor staff
2. extremely polite,hardworking table clearers,foreigners again
3. drinks that taste like they came out of your favourite inner city kopitiam
4. clean presentation and interesting ambience
5. nice airconditioning and a balcony for those that find it too chilly
6. good wifi
7. smiling and helpful young female local cashiers at their respective counters(I just can't believe it)
8. friendly chefs and order takers that seem very comfortable interracting with customers yet know how to keep their distance
9. a better array than a lot of places
10. dishes that cost more than $7 onwards seem to be the bestsellers here compared to cheaper offerings that hover around $4
11. they actually have a thai counter that serves non haadyai style of cooking
12. Almost every diner orders one set from the Taiwan grill
13. the Japanese counter has sushi balls that look too cute to eat
14. am sure the bah chang counter does not use preservatives

I never imagined this day would come.
Based on the above,would like to congratulate Bali Hai and Ivory on a job well done.
Clean,well maintained,happy cleaners,servers,staff and cashiers.Even the chefs are happy for goodness sakes.Nice! How on earth did you achieve this mammoth feat?

Now for the bad.

1. the Indonesian restaurant area is so deserted like a ghost town
2. the Italian corner immediately after it spends more time swatting flies
3. Mr Soup same.
4. roast meat counter's business surprisingly not as hot as others
5. Turn the corner and the wantan mee aunty shows you her cannot smile face
6. The Bah Chang aunty looks disturbed/pained/headache most times
7. The CKT uncle got botox syndrome
8. The mee counter right next to him has the most glum looking foreign staff (must be a disease on this side of the foodcourt)
9. The German sections food presentation doesn't really look appetizing (don't know about the taste haven't tried it yet)
10. The Taiwan grill confuses me cos it tastes like a cross between taiwanese street food and thai cooking plus the entire set is rather heavy for a lady to carry.
11. Most of the foods here are very different tastewise and might take some getting used to
12. When it is quieter or the crowd has dispersed the male staff (from floor to kitchen)here like to occasionally rest their eyes on us women and quickly turn away when we lock eyes.That is quite disconcerting.
13. It's a really,really quiet complex on the whole like walking into Tomb Alley to access the party 6 feet under
14. Thai tomyam waaaayyyyyyyy too sour although it contains 5/6 moderately sized(considered large by Penang standards) pieces of fish and 2 medium large prawns

Overall,hey,I never expected to find a foodcourt that would serve me pineapple fried rice as good as the one dished out by the Bangkok chefs employed by the mistress of a tycoon that served fabulous thai food at her very very expensive upscale restaurant many many eons ago in Kay El.
Excellent are their kerabus too!
Unbelievable but true.

The Delicious Group @ Straits Quay

24th June 2011
Finally tried this and here are my observations

1. What's the point of being near the sea when they cover up the view like it were some gay designers boutique?
2. Staff seem friendly,positive,attentive and intelligent but never judge a book by its cover
3. Food is very,very, extraordinarily NORMAL,standard 3 to 4 star hotel fare.Its the clever lighting that makes one think they are eating something delicious.
4. Cake toppings taste better than the actual cake itself

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Facebook is wonderful.Without it we would never know real customers grievances.
It is also gonna be interesting to note how many bloggers will lie about the truth in regards to the service and even the food here.
Since the site Foodtok (a most commercial site filled with adverts so its owner can eat and bluff some more),has been so quick to jump on the bandwagon am not gonna trust their reviews after this.

As a departure from normal I am gonna post up customer complaints found on Delicious facebook for you to see.Their regulars in KL have fled because apparently they have a big issue with service in all of their outlets,the time the food takes to arrive as well as getting the waiters/waitresses attention,apparently an almost two hours wait from start to finish.From their wall,things look no different up north in Penang.What a shame.

Haven't had the chance to go and try yet.
Actually I'm turned off by the fact that the place is always packed and the window sluts of Penang have made a beeline here,dressing as if they were attending a getai wedding dinner at night.You get the drift.Some can get away with murder since fillers can now pretty any plain jane up.
Their men in tow however, are sometimes dressed up too but end up looking like a gaudy older Ah Beng in white ill fitting too high waisted white pants and matching shoes.
When they walk hand in hand together,it's like watching a mini skirted cinderella with her pimp.

Finally from the anals of the complaints department,dug up from ...dressed up Ah Lians with their cash to splash Ah Bengs,do check this out

Alex Lau rants...
Am VERY Dispointed with the management of d Penang branch! Made reservation two weeks in advance even b4 they open and specifically wanted a private area for a big group of us but was told on d day of my dinner tat d place was not available cos got a bigger group came earlier than us so we were sitted next to d kitchen!

Ben Mah adds.....
Delicious Straits Quay, pls do something about your staff. Seems like they are 'blind' to local customers, been calling for order but was ignored and instead a group of foreigners was acknowledged that came later. Best part is not even a weekend. Disappointed!

Prisca Ju Ek Tan moans ....
Was treated with by a fren for Mother's Day dessert supper, a little pleasant surprise of the roses, nice thought ;) but the place was super noisy - the noise level can be consider noise pollution! Next time will try weekdays night, hopefully will ne much better that we're at least be able to hear ourselves talking!.....
we had choc pavlova, macadamia cheesecake & scones - the scones are a little too crumbly though.... Stil hv room to improve to become the perfect English scones

Alicia Tan complaints....
I was there today late noon around 4pm. Spaghetti was all right, however the "Crispy fried mushroom" wasn't crispy at all, some extra work needed on the batter and the mushroom wasn't juicy at all <- comparing to other establishments. Service staff needs better training, creeping up on customers from behind to place ordered dishes and... to set the table...not very polite. Should serve from the front where we can see you. Did not receive my 5cents change nor my receipt, not a notable amount but still change and receipt. Other than the complaints above, nice environment, being by the seafront, comfy place to be! Will try other menu offerings next trip!

Melissa Fok Mei Yin pulls her hair out and scratches the blackboard with her nails(kidding)....
Please do something about your staff at your Penang branch.Was calling for service but was ignored and instead a group of foreigners were served.I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED.Your food may be good but when the service is that bad,customers are walking!

Marko Yap
Had my first experience @ straits quay today. My comments were:
Cappuccino arrived without any sugar accompanying the drink.
My banana chocolate cake arrived without the cake fork. When requested for it the waiter brought a normal spoon for the cake .
Food was served quite fast and was quite tasty.
Some waiters were quite inexperience.
There is still room for improvement in the service area. Maybe the outlet has just opened

Bernard Ong
the usherer in straits quay has no manners !!! i couldn't rmb his name! ash or something! very bad service!!

Zealand Bah Kut Teh (Chu Char) @ Gurney Drive (till 3pm)

October Update :

This is like a cat and mouse game.The gatal set of cheetah mamas and leopard execs obviously like to cling out and show off their wild vines here.They simply can't resist eyeing one another.Can't stay away for long.
So if you don't spot them today,means you will eventually catch them checking each other out on other days.All the best on your safari hunt.

September :
Penang people have been obviously talking about and reading this blog.
The hot mamas have fled.
Nowadays one gets to see more desperado menfolk with plain janes waiting for a sideshow,both parties hoping in vain for a lunchtime eye candy MILF fling.


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One thing you should know about the diners here is that they are exceptionally snooty especially if they are female.
The men diners(most times equally well dressed as well) like to feast their eyes on the secretary/financial advisor types of hot mamas who chow down here.

Next this place has a bespectacled waitress that has the uncanny ability to bloat regular's heads sky high by treating them like Tan Sris,Datins or Datuks even though they might have zero moolah in their pockets.Non regulars will be snubbed by her mightiness and bundled in the same category as the bangla workforce in the kitchen.Bad.Bad service.
On the other hand,perhaps it is her way of networking.But she's pretty nasty to those she doesn't recognise.Except if you are caucasian.She will treat you like a Tun.One step higher than the locals.Sheesh.

Worst of all every dish comes out with a carpet of daun sup(the thicker stemmed chinese celery)which is pretty irritating,as if autumn had arrived and the trees were shedding.
Strangely both men and women (mostly in their mid thirties to early fourties)don't seem to notice it and chew it like they were contented goats munching on alfalfa.
They might think that they need the chlorophyll to convert their sour faces into sweet youthful sugar but I attribute it to the 7 year itch,and the need to be visually scratched by someone other than your own spouse....it's either that or everyone just got botoxed 3 weeks back.

Actually I just don't understand why this place attracts so many diners.Tastewise all their dishes rank ho hum.To be frank,the standard typical menu when translated into real dishes gracing your table,sucks big time.Nothing wonderful.
Almost at all times (unlike its night time counterpart) is the outlet filled to the brim.
Customers will park their car in Corner Club and swerve out here for the cheap chow.
Maybe that's why.
Cheap attracts the well heeled gatal eyed thirty something cheapskates.Or the fact that they now just need to pay $3 to park at Corner Club the once upon a time,one of the "in" places for the who's who of Penang.

Swensen's @ Penang Times Square

Where do I begin? Let's throw aside what I mentioned in my earlier post about their membership card and get down to business.
It was either Soju or this.The thick cigarette smell permeating from every corner of Soju's sealed our decision.
What I'd like to say to all the ladies is,please don't be tempted by the ice cream cart placed ouside this outlet.See girls,when you look at the flavours and walk inside the parlour to compare the flavours between the cart contained one and the one behind the shop counter,one hairy balding Bangla guy in a black t-shirt will appear and impress you with the service he extends.Do bear in mind that your first impression of him might be he's irritating cos you can't really understand a word he's saying.I call it a cultural barrier which we have yet to overcome.
But if you do listen intently,throw him any question and you'll know that this,is one exotically accented guy who knows his stuff  and that, makes you respect him for the profession that he represents no matter how insignificant it may seem.
Happily surprised by his prompt,professional,highly knowledgable,with a sensible sense of urgency manner so wanting on this Island and so unlike the surly faced daytime managress who migrated from Gurney,you make it a point to come back and maybe try out other things on the menu.

No,no,no.Huge mistake.

Know why?Cos the more you sit there and look at this fella at work,the more hot you will find him.
You won't notice him if you have just a fleeting encounter.
Dining in would make you a captive audience to his charms.
The fact that he constantly likes to keep himself busy,scuttling about here and there,ordering his underlings with a very manly measure of authority as he keeps the place in order,makes you end up getting a little turned on by his really tight posterior (faint) twanging its way past you,well spaced follicles protruding from his rather strong looking carpetted biceps(mmm) and really wicked twinkling eyes (wow) framed by a very hardworking physique (nice).
He exudes a presence that could knock you flat the more you sneak a peek at him and make you not want to take your eyes off him(continue your retina stalking activities through the multiple mirrors).
He's not a handsome specimen yet could cause you to end up swallowing your spaghetti complete with the fork too if you aren't careful.
Everything else ends up tasteless cos you become so increasingly engrossed in watching him.
Oh why?Why on earth does someone so ordinary looking,look so good behind a glass counter?
Then you ask yourself Did someone lace my macadamia?Nah..only to get back to indulge in more man watching.
For your info I have never found any Bangla type to be a turn on.
So whyyyyyyy does this guy make you feel like prowling over like a feline towards him,so you can do delicious things with him in order to distract him as he bends forward to expertly cup the ices ?Melt my polar caps this way baby.
You forget what you just had,even what the flavours where.He makes you want to cross the boundary beyond mere fascination.Va va voom
Damn sexy man.
One thing you WILL remember is the ice cream if you ordered any.
In my case it helped bring down the sizzling atmosphere down a little tiny notch,still I'll refrain from describing how I indecently licked my way around it as I flashed over yet another glance.
God he's HOT.So hot I would have damn misbehaved myself right there on the spot if there was no one else hanging around.

Blue Reef @ Straits Quay

Update :
12 nov 2011
Mr half balding is no more around.
Probably talent scouted,I presume.
Hard to find servers with his dry wit.
In hs place are an army of business like no nonsense servers who give you vibes that they are not keen on getting too personal nor friendly,and are skilled at looking perpetually busy.They do their job cos you're paying their paycheque and that's about it.
The place is no more teeming with customers nowadays,as most newbies head Pappa Rich next door since it is a cheaper alternative,while others now hone their love for sharing one dessert amongst a large family of 12 right before closing time, in Delicious instead.
Overheard from that particular family,to the 8 year old girl, was this ......
"Now you can tell EVERYONE (relatives,friends etc)you came to Delicious to eat!"
......what they left out was....
we requested for 11 extra spoons and saucers so we could share that ONE single slice of cake shamelessly.

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Sit down to a meal here and chances are you would have come across the large square faced almost bald chatterbox staff with the sarcasm of Chef Wan.Just based on his sly charm alone,would be enough to carry any mediocre restaurant through.Five star establishments should really come sit down and take a look at this fella work his magic on the crowd of diners.It is impossible to not want to open up to his friendly with a hint of mischief demeanour.
Upon walking in from the gallery of the shopping complex,you will be quite impressed by the layout.
Nice breezy,romantic and all at once laid back yet chic ambience.Until you choose to sit facing the ocean and find that all you can see is the ocean peeping out in many obstructed ways from the inside of the restaurant.Pop goes the bubble.
Before your meal comes,you of course do the prerequisite required of this place since there is nothing much else to do but to rub shoulders with the nearest window slut,which is to visit the washroom located outside within the complex.
On your way back another window slut sees you as a competition and aims to brush past you with her tush so upright it looks as if she is out to maim you so that she can have more chance of fishing for something bigger than seafood.Your feathers rustled by this outrage,makes you keep your eyes peeled on her table so you know exactly what the heck she came here to eat.
It turns out she is amongst the second of the most (insert the P word here)ariah of Penang diners because she nonchalantly orders a meal for one and calls for three plates to save cost.Sheesh.
Believe me,there are so many of them at this outlet that it explains why the place is always packed.
Why not?Almost everyone is sharing their meal.
So if someone tells you they ate here and the food was so fabulous and blah blah blah blah,please do ask them if they shared their meal and did they order drinks?These harems of camels like to brag so much about their $5.50 portion,I'm beginning to wonder if they keep visiting the toilet to drink from the bowl.
When your meal arrives you tuck in and think,hey not bad.Taste is nice,slight hints of nice flavours here and there,with nothing overdone.This is because it is still piping hot.Once it gets cold however all the flaws will be laid bare.The much touted beer batter is the hardest and crunchiest I have ever come across.The only way to cut it is to bring along your own steak knife with you.Do exercise caution and handle the cold batter like you were trying to cut a cross between plastic and glass.Watch out for flying shards!
And the colder it gets,the drier the fish meat encased inside becomes which cause you to chew like you were chewing gum.
The salad mix that accompanies your fish meal is a good mix however the teaspoon of vinegrette on top of the bed just ruins the greens not because of the taste but how it disintegrates the leaves giving them a bruised look.The fries got so hard at the end of the meal,I could have knocked the display whore out cold, just by thowing it at her poison dart style,as I remained seated.
Other than all the above,I find the drinks better than the food.Oh how would they know right?They're camels.