May Fong @ Kampung Benggali,Butterworth

May Fong attracts irritating "so what's nice to eat ah?"curious newbies and its own salivating for a fix,league of local fans.
Almost always blazing hot on the outside,without fail on each visit.(is there a malay rain bomoh living around here or what?),it offers temporary shade from the boiling aspalt and piercing sun,only after you manage to wedge yourself a seat away from the entrance.

Though I would agree that they are quite skilled at par boiling the white(it's a light yellow to be precise)chicken,I just don't get Bahai people's love affair with this particular dish.
Oyster sauce chicken is available in many places in Butterworth,but is virtually non existent on the island.

Oyster sauce itself was considered a highly prized,special and luxurious ingredient thanks to the many cantonese soap operas gracing our homes,as well as the pages of our mother's magazines.
But an expose that a world famous brand associated with this product actually made it from cheap cockles and not expensive oysters,caused a fall from grace somewhere in the late 90s if I am not mistaken.
Then it suffered another blow when in 2001*,it was proven to contain a cancer causing chemical 3-MCPD and that made many home users shy away (see below)though it hardly caused an impact on commercial operators who still swear by it.

Anyway,dumping it on top of the chopped up chicken dish,simply makes it end up looking like a stale load of brown sperm vomitted from a badly shot porno flick.It just spoils the chook as if it were a fake orgasm
To make it worse,it tastes like cheap oyster sauce,served cold straight out of the bottle even if some will have you believe that it is a 'special secret recipe'.

And when you see a repeat of the sexual crime pinning your ramrod straight quick boiled green vegies down,I simply cannot fathom how this qualifies as appetizing unless you still live time warped,hidden in a large beehive,sporting half horn rimmed glasses, back in the 60s era of sobbing mandarin stills or have an unsatiated fetish for vegies drizzled with starchy chocolate jizz.

Next we come to the noodles.The portion is enough for a stick thin 2 year old.And that's it.So you order an extra bowl,yet it is still not sufficient to half fill the tummy.
I dare say the prawn wantons are left to ferment a little on order to develop the flavour and heighten the smell.But that's flirting with with a bout of food poisoning if in case they ever loose track of time.
When you look at this play play fool fool (main masak-masak) of a dish,it makes you wonder how many Perakians have relocated here in search of greener pastures and the culinary sacriliges they have to put up with.

There are only 3 things I like about this place.

1. The nostalgic shop
2. Its bamboo shutters 
3. and the invigorating "leng teh" a herbal drink made from REAL herbs otherwise known in medicinal halls as Ha Ku Chou, harvested from road shoulders (not from a syrup bottle churned out by some bayan lepas factory)

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In 2001 the United Kingdom Food Standards Agency found in tests of various oyster sauces and soy sauces that some 22% of samples contained a chemical called 3-MCPD (3-monochloropropane-1,2-diol) at levels considerably higher than those deemed safe by the European Union About two-thirds of these samples also contained a second chemical called 1,3-DCP (1,3-dichloropropane-2-ol) which experts advise should not be present at any levels in food. Both chemicals have the potential to cause cancer and the Agency recommended that the affected products be withdrawn from shelves and avoided.
The joint Australia New Zealand Food Authority (ANZFA) said it had taken emergency action to amend its food standards code to set a limit for 3-MCPD in soy sauce of 0.02 milligrams per kilogram, in line with European Commission standards which come into force in the EU in April 2002.
Britain's Food Standards Agency (FSA) singled out brands and products imported from Thailand, China, Hong Kong and Taiwan. Brands named in the British warning include Golden Mountain, King Imperial, Pearl River Bridge, Jammy Chai, Lee Kum Kee, Golden Mark, Kimlan, Golden Swan, Sinsin, Tung Chun and Wanjasham soy sauce.
In July 2001, the FSA issued another statement clearing Lee Kum Kee's name after the company produced laboratory certificates from accredited, reputable laboratories. These certificates show that Lee Kum Kee products now comply with the proposed EU limit for 3-MCPD

Jin Hoe Cafe(Nasi Lemak) @ opposite Bandar Baru supermart,Pulau Tikus

This is another one of those ridiculous open for two hours only joints.
Come at seven in the morn and he ain't open yet..If you arrive after 10am,everything is gone.
The customers that he attracts are those that like to pack at least 20 packets at one go and also the Sadists that love the brutal sting of his sambal.
I Really do Hate the fact that us diners have been taught so well to obey THEIR rules.That we have to comply if we want to have the 'privilege'of tasting their produce.No,he's not rude but I don't think I am alone in feeling irritated cos his customers consist of an increasingly ageing crowd with the young too restless to endure the stupidity of such a no brainer operating hour.
So....what's so great about his Nasi Lemak?
This is of the Penang Nyonya/Southern Thai/Myanmar/Chinese/Indian influenced Nasi Lemak.Nothing close to the Malaccan nor Singaporean varieties.Most Penangites might think this as Nyonya but the lineage has been so diluted over time and by intermarriages giving rise to such a hodge podge dish.
I admit to liking his almost blackened fried fish,it's fresh and lightly marinated with assam but lately I don't know what has happened.
His rice has attained the texture of hard to digest pulut so much so that I would suggest that you absolutely have to tapau it in order for it to be further softened by the banana leaf wrap on the journey home....or risk choking since it is served very dry.
The prawns which used to be so delicious are now what I suspect to be of the farmed species and therefore unable to manipulate the spice and seasonings to the max.It now tastes flat.
The sambal is not of the malay style ikan bilis and onion variety.This is really sambal belacan which used to be more redddish in colour but also lately has been increasingly brownish in shade(chillies expensive mah)
The raw cucumbers would have a true blue Nyonya rolling up her kebaya sleeves to give his ears a good twisting for the sheer vulgarity of size and clumsiness in the cut itself.
Price wise has been kept moderate(below $4) but I fear if he continues dishing out such bad quality stuff which his dad would have frowned upon,his customers won't return for more.

James Foo Western,Fettes Park @ School/Special/Public Holidays,Sports Events

September  2011 Update :

Shocked members of the public have reported seeing an assortment of luxury vehicles compromising of an Alphard and a VW Passat parked outside their outlet before business hours.Because of this some feel that it is time they gave other western outlets a chance as James Foo n co have made more than a fortune.

Plus I pinched these customers feedback off their fb page.
The most shocking revelation is in regards to irrate residents who have to put up with haphazard and inconsiderate diners.They retaliated by puncturing car tyres.

The boss is a stubborn individual who never compromises his wallet,takes advantage of others,sponges off and bullies the weaker so long he can make another buck.This probably explains why the residents did this.To teach him a lesson.The feud is a longstanding one.You may be innocent but you represent their resentment towards his inconsiderate,stingy and selfish attitude.

You have been warned.

Pinny Low Xin Pin (1st Sept)
HORRIBLE SERVICE! Had to wait for ONE hour for a pathetic plate of holland pork. Never coming back again. Menu might look affordable but you get MUCH LESS for what you pay for. Seriously, eating at a roadside hawker is so much better. Wait FIVE minutes, pay RM5 for awesome to the max food. Kthxbai.

Su Reen ( 15th Aug)
DISAPPOINTED...!!! After a change of new outlet, everything's not improved but worse... Was waiting for staffs to join table for us, we waved for service, but the staffs looked & IGNORE us. The food is TERRIBLE... Tasteless mushroom soup, shrinked "mini" bun, non-crispy chips, & most of all, the grilled lamb is served uncooked...!! Blood coming out from the meat & it's medium rare, lamb chop shouldn't be served this way... It's a very disappointing dining experience, after all those years of loyal visits. Price increased, food portion shrinked. No quality control, and the worse part, lousy service.
Maybe new outlet, earned alot d, that's y service & attitude not the same as the old outlet. The food really shrinks alot, not worth the value.
Hardy Low : The new outlet is just a new building beside the old Fatty Low place. My advice, not worth going. Not that i'm trying to sabotage, but, alot of my friends agrees bout my complain as well...

Kuan Huay (25th June)
I like tis page is for a purpose..im a fan of james foo stuffish...bt today u all hv atcualy disapointed me...i was having my dinner wit my family over dere jx nw..i noe ur business is growing bt dont jx ignore da services provided...a rude manner when we dun even finish eating bt dere is an employee bringin new customer over to our table n jx place them dere n get da order..r u trying to chase us away???a vry bad attitude ur employees have!!!no more second visit frm anyone of us anymore...aft complainin to da manager we jx get an unsincere sorry..we look like a beggar on da corner of da table rushin to finish up our dinner!!!!
I did review all ur wall seem like u all r having long term service prob..n havent been cure..speechless...all da best..ya 1 more ting last time u all use to hv a uncle serving..he is gud..da best ever service provided
Jia Lin Tye (25th June)
yes i agree. everytime i went thr the supervisor's and employee attitudes are fucking bad like they are having menstruation. :( a crap service!

Raymond Ooi (24th June)
I've just dine in there 2 days back n i found the food needs more improvement especially the mushroom soup that doesn't taste like mushroom soup and the tar-tar sauce taste really bitter plus also check the doness of ur chicken coz mine is only about 70% done. Please reduce the usage of msg as well. Overall the worth is there

WinGz Lim (5th June)
the service was awful, especially the ppl queuing, was seriouslly affecting mood of ppl having meal there.... and another thing, i saw waiter sending the bill to the desk besides me, and when i asked for bill, the waiter tell me very impolitely: go pay at the counter. Not to mention the foods,u guys failed even in controlling queue.

Suzanne Kang (1st June)
Hi, everyone if you having meal @ James Foo, don't park your vehicle at Residential area, our car tyre all puncture last night!!! 4 cars tyre puncture...hope James Foo got their own car park for customer!!



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This fella is one that can make Yut Kee in KL bite the dust.He sells Hainanese style western food which outsiders like angmos won't touch with a ten foot pole but which us malaysians so love to death.His grills and batters are great,so too his sauces and limited edition(cos he only makes like five bowls or so at one time can you believe it?) potato salad.The salmon is not bad but I think his pork dishes are better.
He's one of the few that can actually tackle lamb well,plus he also serves a Malaysian homemade style version of the all day breakfast set (complete with bacon)at approximately 3 times less the price of Starbucks and Segafredo.I don't really like his steaks though but still can eat lah.However,his soups are a horrible,almost tasteless flour filled affair.
Of late,the portions of the various dishes seems to be decreasing in size while increasing in price.

Starting off small in the then Seahorse Foodcourt in Tanjong Tokong,he accumulated a following before relocating to Fettes Park.Since they were a roaring success there,he got ambitious and opened up another outlet at the Chinese Swimming Club,but maybe cos the fengshui there not so good,that outlet has never enjoyed the crowds like the one at Fettes.
Before shifting from the corner lot open space next to Fatty Loh, at the most you had to wait during mother's day or christmas was 45 mins.
They now have 2 shoplots but didn't think of increasing the kitchen space nor the amount of cooks,which still remains at the grand total of 2.
The bearded cook,finds any spare time to checkout leng luis or fiddle with his phone while the rounder capped one at the back(not a cook) pounds and dusts meats like a Viking.One of the female order takers looks like a chinese painting of a concubine,while another looks like popeyes girlfriend and the last looks like Awie's (the Malay singer)wife a bit.Both(with the exception of awie's wife lookalike) have no sense of humour and remain stone faced most times.
Sometime back,they pasted up a "waitress wanted" sign and some smart alec who tried to pick up miss concubine scribbled the word "sexy"on a piece of paper.He attempted to humour her by forming the word"sexy waitress wanted" as he giggled.I saw her give him the Cliff face.
Of their 2 male waiters,the older one is more cheeky while the young one already caught the rock face disease.The matron,when she makes her appearance looks like she really,really needs a good long holiday as with the head chef.
This weekend,because of Starwalk and the Dragon Boat Race,for 2days in a row,the waiting time was 1 and a half hours.Yeah,really.
Anyone that walks in with a smile,cannot smile anymore after this.They will look like they are about to be admitted into the ICU for starvation.Babies will bawl,aunties will frown,botox will fall out of faces onto the table and dating couples might split after this harrowing experience.

So what to do and just how do you while your time away?You may do the following...

1.order a giant cup of juice
2.stare at the wall or outstare other diners or each other
3.bring your monopoly set.
4.bring a big bag of kuaci/ kacang
5.buy the evening newspapers from the savvy vendor that pops in
6.bring a knitting set
7.play psp
8.take turns jogging up and down fettes park to E&O properties down tanjung bungah and back
9.choose one sucker to sit at the table,to represent your family while the rest of you go home to Sungai Ara and bring back items 3,4,6 and 7.

Halfway through the above activity,if you spot the waitress heading your way armed with a menu under her armpit,then you are doomed.She's probably gonna tell you that they've run out of pork/chicken/even fries for goodness sakes.
In this case,make sure you provide your sucker rep with a phone to inform one of yall.The reason why she is at your table is to get the green light from you to omit those items,replace them with whatever she tells you or change your order.
When your meal appears it feels like so tiny cos you still hungry after that.By the time you go home everyone will ask for a plate of maggi mee each.

Faces Steak Garden/Corner @ Jln Pantai Molek (CLOSED DOWN)

September 2011 update :

Don't bother coming,unless you like to check out the eerie looking area spreading from where Hot Wok used to stand right up to the now defunct Faces.
The "For Rent"sign has been up at the corner red bungalow for ages,yet nobody has been brave enough to take up the offer.Overgrown with plants and looking more and more creepy by the day,a chill never fails to run down my spine whenever I have to make a turn into this lane.

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Though it has a very spacious dining area with ample carpark,it is devoid of customers most nights.
Most times only three tables are taken up and that may have affected the bespectacled person manning the cash register so much,he looks like a troubled person in need of some happy pills.Some nights,you get some entertainment in the form of singers.They are quite good but since there are so few customers,you might begin to wonder if you are privy to their practise session.Also the volume is quite loud so much so that if you don't enjoy mandarin songs you will soon develop a throbbing headache.
When they have stopped singing,two things will pop up to trouble you further.
First you will witness a group of bangla staff standing still while smiling(as if they are frozen in a pose for the camera) at the tv screen from 3 tables away.Second they begin to play piped in music that drives you half mad because it gives it a kind of early eighties coffeehouse feel rather like the 'modern' music Red Garden at Lebuh Leith would belt out.
Other than the creatively named fruit juices and one very cheap item on the menu called pizza bread(a slice of ordinary bread with pizza topping),there is nothing really much to look forward to here.
We tried their combo sets,sizzling set,had some sandwiches and even ordered a whole large pizza since we found the pizza bread to be quite good.All flunked.The sauces are gooey,the meats have been refrigerated too long therefore the taste has filtered out,the fish is a joke,the pizza is too sweet and the dough not nice and the sandwiches are ordinary.

Some bloggers will tell you that it is real value for money or even cheap.
They have got to be kidding.
Other than the gimmicky large sized juices and the cheap slice of pizza bread,the rest by comparison to James Foo in Fettes Park,is terribly expensive because the size of the dish is not meant to fill your stomach.A mixed grill in James costs around $15 and will fill you to the brim,whereas it costs $18 here and a fraction of the size.We were so hungry even after ordering so many dishes here,that we headed out to the nearest mamak to have a proper meal.What a waste of time and money coming here.Eating here is like playing costly masak-masak.
There is really no need to go on further.If you are feeling really really down and really really sad,then you may like to come here,to get your brains blown out by loud passionately sung while sitting like an upright corpse mandarin songs,drown your sorrows in gallons of juice to find your kindred soul in the guy behind the cash register.

Tarn Thai @ New World Park

Deep down inside I want to believe that my quest for thai food in Penang will eventually come up with a gem.So far it has been nothing but a lost cause for me to squander more hard earned money on.So when I arrive at a Thai restaurant where the chefs are milling around and speaking in Penang hokkein I should have stayed away.What's left is for me to pass the buck and blame the smart alec who wrote about and recommended this place.That person is on my hate list already.
update: attention ms alice chan of lowyat forum I am not referring to ms picassosun or piccasun or watshername(can't be pikachu nor peekaboo,pickernose or pickafight right?) blogger.This place is recommended by a food journalist from a newspaper.u may find the offending article plastered outside this outlet
On the bright side this place is perfect for those with hypertension and want to eat thai food.Know why?Cos not much salt is involved plus instead of coconut milk they have an affinity for using evap milk.The tomyam is quite good,exciting,with fire that builds up but the ingredients inside are so little that the fire eventually fizzles out.The rice is small grained rice that once left exposed to the air a while longer starts to harden slightly.
The fish cake ...I think even Lang sae lee at Tan jetty is better.It looks like a handicapped starfish shaped like a sea sponge cum coral and when you poke it with your fork it actually bounces back a little like a soft pillow.Thai fish cake is not supposed to misbehave like that.Thai fish cake doesn't fight back like a virgin.
The green seafood curry is more curry than you see food.You look inside and you think that perhaps it is a miniature version of  the Chao Phraya sprouting algae and Neptune's overfished morsels in a bowl.
I won't elaborate any further on what other dishes we had because I'm beginning to get a headache just thinking about it.
Ambience wise is quite pleasant.Service staff are genuine,concerned and attentive which is quite a rarity in Penang.Desserts are a tad better than most joints.High blood wise is a smart move to eat here.

Hokkien Mee @ Lebuh Presgrave aka Sar Tiau Lor (night)

update : I was dragged back here a few nights ago by their loyal patrons aka my disgruntled acquaintances who were determined that I eat back my own words.I left them to order and when the dish arrived there was definitely more prawns slices (8 to 10)that were definitely thicker,more pork slices(didn't count still pissed with this) that were still paper thin,more taugey maybe like (25 to 30 pieces) and more noodles for the same price,the egg was still as unimpressive.
Hmmm..I wonder why that is?Is it because if their regular patrons were to order they'd give more or what i don't know but I find it strange that there can be such a big difference between the time I self ordered and when my friends ordered for me.
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I don't care what people say about the soup and the taste.I put this here because it is NOT value for money.

1.Pork slices are paper thin.
   I counted 4 inside.
  Can do mini origami.
   I think they achieved this effect by using their kids pencil sharpener on the
   pork

2.Prawn slices are paper thin.
   There were 3 and not even bigger than 5 cent coin put together.
   Fuh! Sure can beat Michelin chef wan!

3.No kangkong to be found cos costs as much as gold

4.Even the egg can melt in the mouth n disappear cos can you believe it?

   Oso thin like chicken got aneroxia.

5.Tauge got 10 pieces cos taukey up to monkey business

So kiam sap with ingredients even though do business for so long.
Cheh! not worth eating if u ask me

Sin Lee Hin Coffee Shop (Wantan Mee)@opp.Tg bungah rapid bus station

Update :
The original kiamsap couple apparently sold their business to a fella who now serves up a decent looking portion which I still cannot motivate myself to try till today.
You're on your own.

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1.This is where you can get Malaysia's smallest portion of chicken meat in your noodles.A whole three fingernail clippings long

2.you get a tiny fragment of sawi to encourage frugal eating habits to save the world from lack of sawi species

3.actually I hate dining in this coffee shop since i found out that when operators of the other stalls buy cars they insist on paying FULL amount in CASH without installment

4. plus I don't like the hokkien mee stall cos I know the soup is made partially from har mai (dried prawns) which costs cheaper than a stock made from fresh prawns.