Friday, July 15, 2011

Chemically Ripened Durians

Have you heard the whispers? It's been going round the island sometime now.Rumour has it that farmers are resorting to this tactic to increase harvest.They pluck the fruits down and ripen them with chemicals.What exactly I do not know but if the 2002 article below is any indication,most are banned.

The quality of our durians are becoming more and more questionable,more so since many have spotted supplies being brought into the island from as far as Johor and even Pahang to cope with the demand.

Not one to take the trouble to go allllll the way up to Bukit Jambul even though some outstation friends will be raving mad about them.No Siree.
Neither am I fanatical or fussy about only devouring the species that's currently 'in' or expensive.Absolutely do not appreciate the udang/red species.

Ever since the start of the durian season (soon ending) clusters of sellers have cropped up on the roadsides hawking their wares.One would assume that the farm owners themselves would take to the streets but no,a good majority are resellers.
Some are just out to make a quick buck although they may be so clueless in wrestling with it they end up butchering the fruit due to lack of expertise.
These temporary vendors initially attract the curious buyers who after a regretful session of poor quality and tasting durians would see them in mid season struggling to sell their wares.Not all are bad,the good ones have their wares wiped out in a matter of hours.Repeat customers and word of mouth see to that.

On the other end of the spectrum,is a mobile van fruit seller next to Sg Kelian hawker centre who somehow seems to be able to muster durians out of thin air almost all year round much like the fella in Macalister Road.This Sg Kelian fella used to be the one I went to if I had sudden cravings off season
.
Yet for the past year I seemed to have developed an intolerance to durians.
Every feast would be followed by a tummy ache.
I completely stopped patronising him after the last two purchases lead to a bout of dizziness and vomiting.
At that time I thought nothing of it, that perhaps I had some sort of intolerance or allergy towards them.So I stopped eating durians until this current season.
I tried the temporary night stall near the chinese medicine shop in Fettes Park .No problemo.Upon comparing Sg Kelian to this new source,these were the differences
  1. Fettes Park's did not deteriorate fast when the casing was removed and the fruits wrapped under cling wrap
  2. Sg Kelian's would be sweating and the fruit not be firm anymore (it was mushy)even if we took 5 minutes to enjoy it elsewhere.
  3. Fettes Park's flavour was more robust and texture thick and sticky
  4. Sg Kelian's was either hard and dry or sweaty and watery
  5. Sg Kelian's tasted flat at times (the argument was it was the start of the season/end of the season/intermarriage with thai durians)
  6. MOST important lesson I learnt was that Fettes Park's did not make me feel ill or dizzy,with absolutely no tummy upset THUS preventing smart alecs from scaring me by insisting I should check to see if I had high blood pressure and all that crap
Now we know why thai durians imported into our country are hopelessly flavourless.

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2002 article taken from http://www.digitaljournal.com/
BANGKOK (dpa) - Old Bangkok hands like to tell the story - no doubt apocryphal - about the fat German tourist who devoured a ripe durian, followed by a bottle of Thai Mekong rice whiskey, then took a hot bath and exploded.
The tale's shred of credibility comes from the durian's notorious gaseous, sulphuric content, which accounts for its pungent odour and a taste that is sometimes compared to eating ice cream in a garbage dump.
But for the connoisseur, durian is truly the King of Fruits. And Thailand is, beyond question, the durian capital of the world.
In the April-to-June hot season the smell of fresh and rotting durian seems to permeate nearly every corner of Bangkok, causing durian lovers to swoon and the uninitiated to retch.
Oddly, durian thrives only in Southeast Asia, and not even everywhere in Malaysia, the Philippines and Indonesia.
It is native to the Indonesian archipelago. The name durian comes from the Indonesian word meaning "thorny", which describes the durian's spiked, dull green or brownish exterior.
But even on the Indonesian islands of Java and Sumatra, where the fruit are grown commercially, the best durian are called "durian Bangkok".
In Thailand, durian lovers say eating the yellowish, creamy inner fruit causes the body to get hot. Eating it late at night, or with alcohol, is not recommended because sleep will be affected.
Durian is also said to stimulate the libido. According to a Malay saying, "when the durian fall down, the sarongs rise up."
Choosing a good durian can be a challenge even for those with a refined taste for it, according to Bangkok restaurant critic and author Ung Ang Talay, who has been a durian aficionado for some 30 years.
"You should find a durian vendor that you know and trust," he says. "Some people can tell a good durian just by looking at it."
Others rely on their sense of smell or use a bamboo stick to tap the outside of the durian and listen for the right tone.
During the peak April-May durian-eating season, when the Thai markets are overflowing with the stuff, vendors will sometimes be willing to cut a small, triangular piece from the shell and allow customers to poke at the yellow flesh inside to judge its ripeness.
But even this test is not foolproof because in recent years some unscrupulous durian traders have been treating their fruit with chemicals to make them ripen prematurely, rather than leaving them on the tree to ripen naturally.
"It's worse than ever," Ung Ang Talay laments. "When the vendors dip their durian in this chemical the durian ripen artificially. But they taste bland, not sweet or nutty. It's like chewing paper."
The chemical problem has caused a crisis for Thailand's durian exports. Last year, Taiwan rejected its usual large annual shipment of Thai durian when the chemicals were detected.
"If the farmers keep using these chemicals they will kill their own businesses," said Pornpom Laogitpaisal, an official of Thailand's Bank of Agriculture and Agricultural Cooperatives.
She said the chemicals, mainly formalin and sulphur solutions, have been banned, but enforcement of the ban has been spotty.
Thailand's durian crop this year is expected to total 890,000 tons, about the same as last year, with about 100,000 tons due to be exported mainly to other Asian markets, with much smaller amounts going to Europe, Australia and North America.
Nearly all the durian exported from Thailand is the popular "mon thong", or "golden pillow" variety.
But there are dozens - some say as many as a hundred - other kinds.
Industry sources say 60-70 per cent of the Thai durian crop is mon thong, which is known for its small seeds and sweet, creamy meat.
But the "gan yao", or "long stem", type of durian also has its fanatic supporters.
"Gan yao are the most expensive durian in my shop," says Pang Sora, who has been proprietor of the Ran Sora specialty durian shop in southern Bangkok for the past 27 years.
"I like gan yao the best myself," she says as she taps a ripe- looking, long-stemmed beauty in front of her shop. "Most of my long- time customers like it best too. In fact, gan yao is our specialty.
"Next month (April) we'll have the most gan yao. Then in May we'll have the most durian of all kinds, mostly from Prachinburi and Chantiburi provinces. A lot in June, too."
These days durian can be enjoyed all year around, although the price is high and availability low in the winter months. During these months, the true fanatics make due with sweetened durian paste and durian ice cream.
In addition to gan yao, early ripening "chanee", or "gibbon," and the ubiquitous mon tong, Pang's shop also carries the more rare "durian boran", or "natural durian" such as "gop", or "frog", durian.
"Most people don't know about the gop durian," she says. "But they are very delicious, very sweet. When we get them in they sell very fast."
Market prices vary from less than 100 baht (2.32 dollars) for a peak-season chanee or mon thong, to 1,000 baht or more for a prime gop or gan yao.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Bersih 2.0

You know how after feasting on durians ,we discard the kernels?
And because there were so much more durians,basketfuls left to be eaten,we didn't even bother to remove the tiny pieces of flesh still stuck on them?
Well,I would equate the Bersih 2.0 Rally to a critters and insects buffet invitation to clean up the kernel (Malaysia) so that every lalat (PKR),weevil(NGOs),maggot (UMNO YOUTH) and sandfly(PERKASA) can get themselves KOTOR fighting amongst themselves for a stinking piece of the political durian pie.

Am featuring what I think is the best article that sums up millions of THE OTHER NON PROTESTING SILENT Malaysians two cents about the nuisance rally.
If there was an award for most humorous,comical political article this would deserve more than a medal for making light of a very stressful point of headache for the rest of us peace loving citizens.

Don't understand why the organiser/antagonisers can't be more original? Why copy the thais and don yellow and red?Why heed people whose salary alone exceeds a couple of entire households combined ,and allow them to lead us by the nose to throw the country into chaos?

The police did a great job in outwitting the two main troublemaking camps.Boy you are smart! I am awed.Hope your chemical laced water contained lots of Ridsect since all those protestors were just plain and clear hooligans.
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No winners,Just losers
The Star 10th July

IT’S becoming tiring for many Malaysians. We are talking about our politicians and supporters regardless of their political affiliations.
Take, for example, the organisers of Bersih 2.0. They need to realise that not all Malaysians are their fans. Not all share their beliefs and decision to stage a rally in Kuala Lumpur.
Their supporters have the right to argue and convince others that it is their constitutional right to protest but, again, do not expect everyone to share their enthusiasm.
When jazz singer Datuk Sheila Majid tweeted: “I am disappointed with all political parties, NGOs and Bersih. There are better ways to approach,” she immediately received a nasty rebuke from a PKR activist who shot her down, saying he used to respect her. She probably lost a fan because of her tweet.
There are enough people who would like to tell them that their protest was illegal and that they should know this is basic law.
Protesters should know better that when you attend a demonstration, it is not going to be a picnic. One should expect to be arrested and hauled into a Black Maria, so let’s not kid ourselves into believing that the cops would give them a red carpet welcome.
Certainly, only a politically naive person, or someone in self-denial, would believe that Datuk S. Ambiga was acting on her own.
Yes, of course, it was not politically motivated. The opposition politicians just happened to be there. Yes, they just bumped into each other at KL Hilton.
In the case of the government, many are also shaking their heads at the authorities’ sledgehammer treatment of Bersih 2.0.
Just weeks ago, not many Malaysians knew who Ambiga was. Thanks to the over-excitement of the authorities, she has become an icon overnight.
And don’t blame Malaysians for being cynical over the claims that communist elements were involved in the rally. More so when those dreamer socialists were said to have T-shirts bearing the names of dead Commie leaders.
Suddenly, Che Guevera, whom many teenagers at Pertama Complex had all this while thought was Bob Marley, was declared dangerous and subversive.
Then there was the obsession with the colour yellow. By the way, there were enough Malaysians who actually believed the Digi Man was arrested by the police, although the e-mailed picture was doctored.
But it was a funny spoof, and I wish there were enough Malaysians with a sense of humour to laugh at the fat yellow man.
Arresting people who wear yellow T-shirts with the word “Bersih” is not going to help the government win votes. Something is wrong with us if we believe revolutions can be launched by wearing yellow T-shirts with the word “Bersih”.
One need not be a rocket scientist to know the political backlash of such an action, even though there may be good security measures.
And the police, trying too hard to be friendly, put on its Facebook pictures of those detained being served with a buffet meal. There were round tables covered with tablecloth. Not bad at all, man!
No wonder there are many people who think a protest in KL is really a stroll on a weekend.
And then there was Perkasa’s Datuk Ibrahim Ali. The man is really comical. After driving enough people into a frenzy with his racist tirade, he decided to stay home. At one point, he claimed he could mobilise 15,000 people. As a face-saving gesture, he declared he would take “a stroll” at Tasik Titiwangsa. It must have been a pretty long stroll. He was probably walking around in circles.
And we can assume everyone would declare themselves winners. Bersih 2.0 will say that they managed to stage a protest despite the police locking down the city.
The authorities, too, will say that they won this round by claiming that the Bersih 2.0 crowd wasn’t as massive as they had expected.
Ibrahim Ali could also declare himself a winner as he could have successfully earned a place in the Malaysian Book of Records for taking the most number of strolls at Tasik Titiwangsa.
Umno Youth’s Patriots can also claim to be winners despite walking barely 200m before being tear-gassed and arrested.
There was another record – Anwar could still post a tweet at 4.40pm that says “undergoing CT scan for injury. Wishing #Bersih all the best.”
How he could take his mobile phone into a CT scan machine is a wonder. The Opposition leader had purportedly fallen during the protest.
Either Malaysians must be very bad in Maths or they are very good at exaggerating. The police said there were only 5,000 protesters whereas Datuk A. Samad Said said 50,000 while the pro-opposition Malaysia Chronicle news portal claimed 100,000 people.
The silat exponents turned out to be a lot of hot air in the end.
The biggest losers were the public who got stuck in horrendous traffic jams. Businesses can count their losses, vendors could not distribute their newspapers, commuters found at least eight LRT stations shut, the city’s cabbies had to stay at home and, worse, terrified city dwellers had to stock up on food unnecessarily.
And taxpayers must certainly be wondering why their money is being spent on bringing so many cops into the city – and serving a buffet meal to law-breakers at Pulapol – when they should be busy catching criminals.
It must be brought to mind that not everyone who supports Bersih 2.0 are pro-opposition. Many middle class urban voters are unhappy about many issues and it won’t hurt the government to listen to them. Don’t give up on them so they won’t give up on the government. Some concerns are legitimate ones that need fixing.
Likewise, Pakatan Rakyat should not misread today’s rally as an endorsement of the Opposition.

100 Rich Insurance Agents Gate Crash Durian Party For 500 Poor Labourers

The crime : Robbing durians,rambutans and mangosteens meant for poor labourers that keep our island clean
The culprits : Rich conmen Insurance agents that were in the vicinity for a 3 day seminar meant to fatten their asses up with buffets,tea breaks etc.
The victims : Poor labourers who cannot afford the better grades of durians on their measly salaries

The culprits who were last spotted donning green t-shirts,greedily gulped down up almost $10,000 worth of expensive grade durians in less than an hour.Not satisifed with their loot they proceeded to tapau balik(takeaway)
Who needs Bersih (I would like to state that I am not a supporter of their cause)when you have scumbags like these that act the way they did?
No amount of pleading nor reasoning could get these vultures to back off.
They just HAD to polish everything up.

If you check on the clue given by the paper,Takaful is the only company with a green logo.
I'm not saying that they are the prime suspects,but if yes,they should be ashamed of themselves.
Anyhow the next time you renew any policy or pay up,do try your best to grill your agent(let's try all the insurance companies ok?) if their people were involved.

Read on

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Bittersweet Treat For Labourers
(9th July) The Star

A  LOCAL fruits party which was meant as a treat for about 500 Penang Municipal Council (MPPP) labourers turned out to be a bittersweet affair when about 100 gatecrashers ended up eating most of the durians.
Penang municipal councillor Ong Ah Teong, who is the council’s public health standing committee alternate chairman, has lodged a police report against the group, said to be agents of an insurance company.
He said the councillors had bought 2,000 high quality durians of over 20 varieties and other fruits worth a total of RM10,000 out of their own pockets for the party, as a mark of appreciation for the labourers who had been working hard to keep the island clean and tidy.
Ong said the open-air fruit party was held on Wednesday near the council’s premises at the Esplanade but just as the labourers were about to savour the fruits, about 100 individuals clad in green T-shirts with the insurance company’s logo showed up in trishaws and started eating the durians.
He said the gatecrashers were told that it was a private function for the MPPP workers but they ignored the organisers and continued eating
He said in less than an hour, most of the durians were snapped up by the intruders and some of them were even spotted packing the fruit to take home.
“The event started about 5pm and was supposed to go on until 8pm but by 5.30pm, only a few basketfuls of durians and some rambutans and mangosteens were left behind.
“We had pooled together our own money to buy the durians, and we really think it’s unfair of them to just gatecrash and consume most of the durians, despite repeatedly being told that the event was not meant for them,” Ong told reporters after lodging the report at the George Town police headquarters yesterday.
He said the individuals appeared to be well-off and able to afford to buy their own durians.
“We bought high quality durians such as ‘Ang Hae’, ‘Khun Poh’, ‘D6’, and ‘Ang Sim’,” he added.
He also said a few of the gate- crashers claimed they were informed by trishaw riders who were taking them around George Town that the durian party was part of their three-day seminar programme held nearby.
The insurance company was not available for comments at press time.

Monday, July 4, 2011

For Patiently Sifting Through My Posts

Merdeka is coming up and as I look back it is almost going to be a milestone of one babystep year since I started ranting about the state of affairs with regards to the foodscene in Penang.
For your info this measly blog of mine with almost zero pics,kosong promo,zilch kangtao hookups and bad layout has managed to attract 20,523 hits to date ever since.
As such,just keep a watch on this post,as I intend to reward you readers for being so supportive(for those pro borhochiak) and on the other end of the spectrum so busybody (for those against this blog but every now and then dropping by).
Some told me I was nuts for rewarding you guys even though I don't earn a cent from hammering my thoughts in here.

The prize won't be THAT big okay?Just in the spirit of fun.
Will keep you posted once everything is ready.
Remember to check here.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Home's Cafe @ D'Piazza Mall

We came here because of the 3 day IT Fair.
The thing about D'Piazza Mall complex is that the ventilation is very bad (as awful as PISA),air conditioners help just a wee bit in alleviating the heat,and the toilet and wash basin systems are just plain,illogically missing,or placed in a weird way like it were meant for home use.

The entrance is as confusing as Tesco Tg Pinang.
In fact it is so confusing the organisers of the fair had to stick computer printer arrows up on the side of the complex to lead potential customers inside.Those that gave up,abandoned their vehicles on the road shoulder.
As you follow the arrows,should you decide to bypass the back of the complex and make one round to exit where you entered,you will still need to encircle the place again cos the whole of the inside looks so dark,lifeless,very un-complex-like and uninhabited.

Who the heck plans places like D'Piazza Mall and Tesco Tg Pinang?
Who are the smartass architects and feng shui masters?
You can't view much life from the outside and as you drive by,you don't see much activity either.The traffic flow is darn complex and navigating it is as horrid as going into a plantation.
Both professionals should be fired and barred from building planning ever again.
Worse of all,I heard that the mall was fully snapped up.Pity the buyers.

Never mind all that,back to business of scouting the many makan places available.I only had the patience to look on one corner.Cos the centre is so empty,with so many shop shutters down(those available sell cheap kuih,newspaper etc),it looks a lot like the wet market makan area opposite Sunshine Square( fast forward to 2011 and people can still come up with such backward ideas) with workers on strike.

There was a corner hawker type of kopitiam full of inconsiderate smokers.Nope.
There was a super warm satay place.No way.
Next to the satay was a cooler but empty klang bah kut teh.

We settled on Home's Cafe kopitiam cos the set up attracted our eye.Nice cool marble tables and old style matching chairs were a plus but the airconditioning was the deciding factor.

Thankfully we plonked our weary selves down.Ah,nice,nice respite.
Until they plonked some dirty ragged laminated menus in front of us.
I looked around us,the floors were icky,there was dirt here and rubbish there which nobody seemed to bother to sweep away or pick up.
The tudung clad cashier and waitresses were acting like they were some useless cheap lelong plasticware roadside shop assistants.
ONLY THE MEN WERE WORKING HERE.The women are mere wallflowers.No one would mind if they looked hot.But they weren't.
The waitresses had a hobby called Nobackbone.They liked to lean their butt against the cash register,their back against the wall,their legs against the lower serving counter and their arms against any available concrete structure.
The kitchen was so small ,I was amazed at the various stuff the Nepal/Bangla (Ipoh horfun bangla style anyone?)cooks could churn out.
Initially I had wanted a meal but looking at the sour,dissatisfied,unhappy faces of the many (suckers like me)patrons around,many of whom looked like they could not stomach their meals,I decided to test the waters by just having a drink.

Your drink will arrive in a nice ceramic kopitiam cup,accompanied by a PLASTIC spoon.You get the feeling that this outlet presumes that all customers are incapable of handling ceramic spoons.
And they have the guts to proclaim that they've been around since 1948.If I wanted this type of drink I might as well go to 7eleven pay for a 3in1 satchet,add hot water and drink that.
Verdict : FAIL

Friday, July 1, 2011