Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Bak Moi,Pork Porridge @Kedai Kopi Ho Ping, Kampung Malabar (Night)

Located next to an alleyway filled with rats the size of kittens,with unwashed plates scattered on the roadside for them to trod,lick and scamper upon,this is one dish which you have to have been subjected to during your childhood,in order for you to show any form of appreciation for.
Waiting time can be excrutiating and just the act of ordering,an intimidatingly chaotic experience.

Even if you were exposed to this when young,doesn't neccessarily mean that you will ever grow to gloat over it.
Cos the smell is a major turn off,the cleaning a time consuming,tedious process,that it makes us prefer not to cook this at home anymore.

It stinks as bad as the day the pig wallowed in metres of muddy excrement.
So bad it penetrated every part of its body reaching to the furthest recesses of its internal organs that intense boiling cannot counter.

The chinese consider animal offals as a tonic for every corresponding part of the human organs.
Thus if one were giddy or wanted to score 19As for your SPM,one would consume pig's brains.
And if you wanted to perk up YOUR kidneys,you eat PIG kidneys.
Their spare parts are akin to our spare parts.
Doesn't make any sense,yeah I know.

Thus I have seen angmohs pulling back their heads,aghast at the sewage like vapour emenating from the piping hot bowl of liver,kidneys,brains,intestines,tongue etc etc in front of them.
Eyes bulging,confused that other diners find no offence,fear building up on their faces and beading in cold sweat,close to fainting and puking before giving up.

So please,look at the categories below and see which one you belong to.

If you are
  1. a foreigner
  2. or not a chinese
  3. a chinese that has never eaten a bowl of mixed offals cooked by the chinese before
you should NEVER attempt this nasty,putrid dish,no matter how good/delicious/healthy a picture anyone paints this out for you.

If you do,you really have to get a barf bag ready,yes,even if you are French.
Cos it's like having Batsoup boiled with drain water chanelled from a subterranean farm beneath Gotham city.
And if sick doesn't get to you,the resident vermins would see to it that you do eventually .