Malaysiabest.my - Swindling case

4 chinese restaurant operators have pointblank accused 2 writers Edmund and Jonathan, from www.malaysiabest.my  of swindling them of $20,000 for a non existent  best restaurant competition.

The duo had supposedly convinced the proprietors that their respective restaurants had been chosen to take part in a " Best Restaurant" competition. The money was for registration and advertising purposes.

When there was no development forthcoming and they failed to contact the duo, the four went to the MCA.
And the MCA found another 9 operators who had also suffered the same 'fate'.

The duo has denied cheating them however .
Probably they will state that this is the 'standard charges' in exchange for ' a good review'. 

The claim of them being swindled is highly argumentative unless something in black and white was signed.

Chances are they will get away like most crook writers do. Highly unlikely that bluffing or misleading, will ever be made a criminal offence unless you sue them.
Such unscrupulous writers all come with a bagful of stupid excuses ranging from 

1. " this is entirely my own opinion" ( if that were so why are ads blinking on your site?)
2. " everyone has different prefences" (yet anyone who says it is borhochiak gets censored )
3. " I pay for all my meals " (but how come your reviews are looking nicer but tasting lousier?)
4. " no msg " ( this category should never be given the licence to write)
5. " one man's meat another man's poison" ( but how come almost everything you recommend tastes like poison?)
6. " can't please everyone " ( either your tastebuds died or you just chew and swallow like a 90 year old )

or whatever bullshit they can think of next

What this whole episode really means is, if the food ain't good and the bloggers or reviewers wax lyrical about it or the place ,they were probably paid a bundle to tell readers beautiful lies with highly photoshopped pics to make something inedible look appetizing and desirable.

Which is what this blog is all about in the first place since I USED TO BE (no more) a reader of such notorious blogs and mainstream media postings.
These pariah writers truly deserve what's coming to them for conjuring such incredible lies , expecting to get paid for it ,with such bloated heads they fantastically begin to believe they are an adulated authority on Malaysian cuisine we all love terribly ( pumped up statistics aside), when they're really delusional greedy cheats.And that's the bottomline .

Read the link from Harian Metro
http://www.hmetro.com.my/articles/Tauke__8216_restoranterbaik__8217_terpedaya/Article

Hui Lau Shan @ Gurney Plaza

I haven't tried their outlets in Singapore or Kay El but judging from what I have just had in Gurney Plaza, this is like a ciplak/celup Hui Lau Shan that will never measure up to the ones sold in HK. The mangoes taste diluted, flat, mushy, squashed.

It's like comparing thai durians to Balik Pulau ones. You get my drift ? One is royalty feted around the world, the other a commoner whom nobody gives a shit about .

Thai mangoes lack the robust, juicy sweetness and firm smoothness that slips across your tongue and gives you an eye opening revelation. The fact that they are put on top of pulut and have salty coconut milk poured on top for added flavour pretty much sums up how awfully bland they really taste.

What really bugs me is how come the franchise holder was allowed to substitute the mango species used in Hong Kong with Thai mangoes ? Due to cost?

What they use in HK can make you sprout wings and sing a song. What they give you here makes you shrug your shoulders and bury your head under a rock for wasting ringgits on a money making excuse for a franchise.

The result is a very weak, unflavourful cup of mush that tastes like a pale shadow of what made them famous in the first place. Something more creative and colourful than a Thai roadside fair.That's it. Something different to talk about. And that's about all.

Look I'm not going to waste more time typing. If you want to know what made them famous in the first place, you have to make The Trip to The Original birthplace for The Real taste of awesomeness that makes The Brand.

Last bowl of Hokkien Mee @ Hwa Pin, Church Street

Did you fall for this today? Did you rush there as soon as you could ?It didn't only make the newspapers,radio stations apparently also helped blow their trumpet for them. If you are guilty, please take a conical hat and stand in the far corner.

No one has ever heard of them before today.

Ok, I'll be more reasonable. I mean we knew that the kopitiam existed , just that we ALSO KNOW that nothing within a few hundred metres radius of that area can be considered delicious with the exception of one ckt stall and one cheap nasi lemak bungkus seller .
But because of some genius publicity gimmick (which worked ! ) lots of blind sheep not wanting to miss out on "The Last Bowl for the Last Time" bowl of hokkien mee stupidly flocked here today.

Veteran hokkien mee connoiseurs disbelievingly rolled their eyes upwards in exasperation,smacked their foreheads before clutching their stomachs laughing so hard till their bellies ached,upon hearing tales of extremely desperate measures adopted by 'sucktomers'

By 3pm (when the dust has settled) if you dared breathe a word about the "ai kee New York liao" hokkien mee seller, you would have been chastised with a really loud "mana oo ho liao ??"

A sellout on the last day of its existence to sponsor the husband and wife's trip to NY city in style. At the rate crazy people poured in, I am sure they could now upgrade to First Class because they apparently sold out by 11.30pm. So clever.

If the general consensus before was borhochiak, today the most asked question was " why on earth did you go ?" because the rumour was that his business was on par with where the current seventh month visitors come from .

Blame it on impulsively naive reporting ( or bribed or wicked depending on how you looked at it) if you ate there and were made a resident laughing stock of by better informed gourmands. 

A most memorable feat in which the stallowners can proudly brag on how they went out with a Bang ! But if I were them, I'd stay hush hush....because what they really managed to do was accumulate a lot of NEW....CONFUSED....ANGRY.... customers today,who drew two fingers to blast their brains out for being so incredibly guillible.

Terrace Cafe @ Penang Holiday Inn

Dear manager,

Did you know that many of your local female staff are pyscho split personality cases ?There is so much backstabbing, blame game and finger pointing being played out in full view of us diners, shouting and yelling because they think we are blur foreigners that I kind of lost my appetite because I could understand every word spewed.

Do you know that the men tried to calm them down but failed miserably each time because you seem to have hired a clan of alpha misfits ? At one point I thought I had enrolled for Survivor Batu Ferringhi.

Your female staff wish us good morning with a nice sweet smile and proceed to 'hammer' other skirt wearing colleagues of theirs with vile words and mean faces .

Please control them because I fear they will really fly off the leash one day and when that fateful day comes, you can have a shrieking face off with flying keropok and splattering gulais. If I were you I'd pray really, really hard you don't have an anonymous blogger lurking around behind a flower pot somewhere.

I won't be attending because what I witnessed was repulsive enough for me to loose my appetite although your buffet spreads are kind of not bad except for the shitty sausages,inedible hams and cheap cordials masquerading as fruit juices. You also need to know that your coffees are insanely weak and awfully bad.

The waitresses were drifting between good hostess straight out of a catalogue and tough badasses who kept on having to fend off attacks from various camps within that rather nice and beautiful coffeehouse quarter .

Leaves a bad aftertaste because I am local...neither was I born deaf. Please do something because I have never felt so jittery while eating before in my life.

It felt as if your hotel were on the verge of some samseng ladies war.

I think even the menfolk are affected to a certain extent ,shaking in their knickers....all this posturing,growling and scowling .... I can't exactly put my finger on it but you seriously need to get rid of the rot.

If I were you, I'd fire all of them and put the next potential candidates through a fool proof objective personality test to weed out minah rempit tendencies.

Midnight Chap Fan Tong @ Perak Road

The women that run this place had are extremely loud and downright unwomenly. Past their prime and gone south they look as if they were yellow sia boey trash.They sit like gangsters, stare like Yakuzas and talk like mafias.With one leg up on the chair, groin region exposed wide and two eyes on you. Their offspring tags along to keep them company, these currently look nice but I know its just a matter of time before they emulate the horrific syndrome....

And because of this they dare open shop after midnight when most men have locked their doors three times, checked it twice more and lay shivering under a thin sarong.

Some people rave about their food. But me thinks it's because they belong to the keongsi clan of chinese manchurian vampires that like to hop around in a long pigtail looking for elusive things at ghoulish hours . Drained of blood me also thinks that because they are so desperate for a bite other than nasi kandar, such a discovery compells them to leave their tastebuds and better judgement out in the clogged longkang .

While I admit that their curries and gulais are quite spicy although terribly watered down , that's where it ends.

Due to the fact that these females are of the barbaric kind, they are absolutely hopeless at cooking wimpy vegetables .One taste and you'll wish you were never born a human. I think even cows would protest,unless they like the veg half cooked and tasting like an old couch.The recipe is not Chinese in origin. It is from Pluto. It must be. I don't know any other Chinese that are so bad at cooking plain Chinese style vegetables apart from new and hopeless Myanmar recruits.

They also like their swine smelly and hard (read too lazy and kiamsap to use more gas to cook longer). Pork sold here is gross. Good for checking out facial and anal muscles you never even knew existed.

Did I mention that it is NOT cheap? Yep believe it.Can beat the most greedy mamak's pricing even.

If you're disgusted by such women avoid at all costs.
It's probably one of the reasons why the sheer mention of the word Jelutong struck some pockets of our menfolk spineless .

 

San Cafe char koay teow @ New Lane aka Lorong Baru (night)

Last time, this kopitiam used to sell pirated CD's. Now they sell pirated char koay teow with a recipe copied from the Straits of Uganda for all I care.

The thing is when you see the two frying stations with big stainless steel suckers in front of the shop, it looks like a dead serious professional business with lots of serious fans (that is if they're still alive and kicking).
And the chef makes a good first impression as a pro ckt wok shaker and mover until it dawns upon you that he's just very clever at acting like a very good ckt seller who's incorporated some 'feeling' and gets emo around a kuali.

All around this cafe, are tables with the word ckt on it.
So you probably will be fooled into thinking that hey, maybe this is the real deal eh ?

Wrong !

The cockles are so rotten you might contract hepatitis from a to z and beyond upon contact
The ckt is so dead pan dry, you might think that they piled the ckt on a plate and whacked it like they just saw an army of cockroaches doing an auntie line dance on top.
What you get is a very nice, nerdily flat and lembik flaccid penis like annihilated organ belonging to some used to be alive roadkill presented to you on an offensive plate of what resembles degenerating ckt six feet under.
It's totally not worth it, it's outrageously expensive (wow they really got balls for this) and ALL the tong sui drinks they ever dare to serve here totally sucks.
They give you a bowl where they even put grains that give you a migraine with a lump of barley that has fermented and stuck together to form a mini meteorite so you can shoot to the moon in the privacy of your toilet cubicle for less than a billion dollars.

If you eat here you need to gather all the holy books you own, get all the bomohs and shamans to form a protective force field around you to keep you from puking or turning into a lump of fizzled from the inside bak.

No.1 for looking like a genuine ckt when it is actually pirated ckt. Penang is doomed.

Why Chain restaurants shouldn't hire foreigners

Have you ever wondered what foreign workers cook for themselves to eat when they are alone and homesick in the back of the kitchen ?

Most of them are severely underpaid. Most get paid $300 for being full time staff. BIG CORPORATIONS that actively donate very publicly to charities are some of the biggest culprits in this matter.

When our locals try to apply for jobs, they tell them there is no vacancy but in the next breath, tell the government that Malaysian youths are all lazy. Liars .

I can name you some places but the best way for you to flush them out is to try to talk to these workers . You can find them in chain outlets selling Malaysian kopitiam food,burgers, donuts and snacks like pretzels, bakeries even . 

If they are Indons, they DARE NOT TALK with you as we can tell from their slang. In some cases, they might even act dumb. So if you are speaking in Malay to them and they are acting stupid, chances are they are lowly paid Indons who are tied on contract work here. Really stupid because it seems a lot of these Indons who come here may look like Malays but are actually non Muslims yet they have no qualms donning the tudung to pretend and look the part.

While banglas,nepalese,cambodians and myanmarese will readily warm up and chat with you, how much do we really know about their favourite foods.

The Vietnamese as we know, drool at the sight of dogs and cats. Whole neighbourhoods have been purged of furry creatures whenever there are new arrivals. Luckily, they like to work in factories.
But some apparently like frogs. I do not know which country these originate from. They must have some Chinese ancestry.They could be cooking toad for all we know.Which is perfectly fine except that the unproven crime was committed in a restaurant that can be frequented by Muslims.

Really serves the corporate bigwigs right when something like this happens and their intended customer base start dwindling down to zero.

There is a picture in this article below. Correct me if I am wrong but from the looks of the apron , Papparich is involved in this fiasco.

No wonder the last steamed chicken I had there looked so,so weird. They are better at frog meat. No wonder the stall with Cambodian workers selling economy rice,now tastes like shit.

Would I mind if my chicken was boiled in the same pot as the frog/iguana/civet/turtle/snake/monkey was ?

I sure as hell do !

This blogger has provided details of the particular local workers who discovered the deed . Apparently it isn't the first time the culprit chef has cooked frog in the kitchen

http://usezworkshop.blogspot.com/2012/07/tukang-masak-pappa-rich-makan-katak.html

Link and pictures of the raided restaurant

http://www.kwongwah.com.my/news/2012/07/27/14.html

Hyperventilating Hot Air - The Real State of Penang's Dining Scene

I  read an article somewhere today in a local newspaper that suggests to the ordinary reader, that the dining scene in Penang is on an upswing.That Penang is pulsating with food outlets that can rival KL. That Penangites have finally begun to loosen their wallets and are willing to spend,spend,spend.

Instead of pulling the wool across people's eyes, I think a few perceptions or misconceptions need to be corrected.

A lot of these restaurateurs have parked their asses on prime property and have indirectly or directly contributed towards the insanely spiralling prices of shophouses .
They sniffed and sought out shophouses in the heritage enclave long before, even to the extent of relocating from other countries to our island.
One such outsider, not a foreigner but a Malaysian, who opened a chain in three states,managed to recoup his losses and profitted from his ONE single prewar shoplot in Penang,even when his business failed . He has since gone on a buying spree.

This mania to turn in a profit that has been speculated to return another 5 fold, in turn has forced OUR people, those very unfortunate and downtrodden ones, into even less savoury dwellings.
There came a time when there were so many old folks sleeping on the streets, forced out of their tiny space in these shophouses. I don't know what has become of them ever since. Either they have died, mysteriously vanished or they are regularly rounded up and shipped off to welfare homes, I really have no idea.

Essentially property vultures with patience of gold, they will sit and wait as our beloved Georgetown falls apart bit by bit, hidden under the painted aesthetics of another garish restoration project that looks more at home in Singapore. Absolutely nothing like Penang.
They would rather sit and wait,preferring not to sell as they await THE buyer and deprive another emaciated soul of a cheap,convenient dwelling into laying a cardboard for the night over a cold pavement.

Those located in shopping complexes , especially if they are well known chains, started off well, only to sell it off ( for reasons best know to them ) to people who really shouldn't be given the licence to operate any restaurant to begin with,much less fry an egg even.
Standards start to fall, quality is compromised, food served begins to suck big time,flies start to lay eggs and the blame game points to the tightwads not bad, compromised dishes.

The most glaring of all to epitomise this preposterous state of affairs , is the report that the Delicious group HAD ALREADY CHANGED HANDS when they opened at Straits Quay,relieving themselves of a torrent of jitters. That explains a heck of a lot as to why they took so long to open and why the heck the food tasted the way it did . Different owner already .
Read the boss' proud confession in today's The Star 2.
I did not make this up.

As for Straits Quay being the catalyst for change,who are you kidding.
EVERYONE especially the outlet operators in that complex, know that the entire place is quiet except on special occasions or another failed epic event where the freeloading participants have padlocks on their wallets . Period. Stop the lies.

A few years back saw an influx of out of state property investors flooding Penang.Most sought out apartments and homes. Unlike commercial properties, let's just say, while some struck a pot of gold, most found things out the hard way and have been pretty much stuck here ever since.

The most important thing to remember is when the scene falters or business stagnates , they bring in the writers. To conjour fluff and hype.

So, writers and reviewers, before you go around wholesale and lump the so called 'new breed' of Penangites as willing to carefully spend money like water, check your conscience.

You seem to have forgotten that many outsiders today make up the new Penang , while most of us are juggling our lives between a home in Kedah or the mainland and an underpaying job on the island or elsewhere, That just as many are working in far away places like China, Singapore, Vietnam, the middle east even , returning just once in a while to splurge on their families and make up for the guilt of being apart for so long.

Get your facts right first instead of helping speculators strangle the very last breath of life out of Georgetown with an uncontrolled viciousness. You have forgotten our own kind, and you have forgotten what it is to be poor in your unceasing obsession for writing fame and paper riches.

Gurney Plaza Food Guide 2012/2013

Do get yourself a copy quick.

It features 4 of Penang's food bloggers with their faces plastered all over the guide.
All four have been inducted long ago into the Borhochiak hall of fame.

Refer to my page " Worst Food Sites " . Look on the side bar of this page.

Priceless recommendations that shows you who is in working with who . They even have the backing of the state under the red rocket . I hope they give them a one way ticket to the moon after the next election.

I think the reason why they had to resort to this was

1.  the past 2 festive seasons, the most glaring being Valentine's day saw a terrible decrease (there were no lines anymore ) in customers who opted for other new jambans in other places
2. the ambitious 6th floor dining area is surprisingly quite deserted most times
3. many regulars are suspicious and unwilling to try out the basement where new island counters have sprout up

You be the judge of it.

Chicken Rice Seller Gets Paranged By Hamsap Customer, Jln Burma

This is so stupid, even more stupid than news of Lee Chong Wei's dad choosing Queensbay Mall's shallow sea to commit suicide.

The pervert customer wanted to hold his wife's waist (for what ? like that also shiok meh ? gatai ) In the end the seller, received 40 stitches on his head where his skull is located, not the other end you hamsap reader, to defend his wife's honour.

Read the excerpt from todays The Star newspaper 12th June .... you can find it under this article

"Bogus cops stab factory worker to death in robbery"

It's so stupid I don't want to reproduce it here.

Seafood Porridge & Noodles @ Public Cafe

One great bucket of fishy unfresh smelly seafood crap .

One sip of the soup and you will know what pirates meant when they said " Shiver me timbers"
The tide will pull back, converging the 7 seas into one massive black whirlpool hole with a nasty Kraken to squeeze your guts from the inside till you expell whatever you just put down your throat.
Long John Silver will turn into Short Jane Shiver after this mortifying experience.

Whoever recommends this to you is utter rubbish to begin with. 

It's such a big sham sitting by the seaside and eating foods that taste of disintegrating seafoods and semi rotting fish juices that strangely look fresh to the naked eye .

Only those who have a hangover night after night, day in day out, can stand this because their noses are already constipated from excessive alcohol and the heat from the soup can help unblock their nostrils.
Thus these people, misjudge the fishiness as real fish smell because they were already cacat alcoholics to begin with.

Just don't. You will regret this if you are particular about fish not smelling like an overnight trawler drawer. Ugh !!!

Ferringhi Garden @ Batu Ferringhi

Where does Tarzan go when he wants to impress Jane and lure her away from KingKong ?

Here. Because the food is overpriced and Jane is supposed to be city babe. He thinks she likes big plates with itsy bitsy food so she needn't worry about ditching her diet plan.
Most important of all, he can feel right at home amongst the bushes and the fake brook.
If the enormous bill stresses him out and he needs some swinging exercise to burn off ,the pergolas at the back will do just fine.
Should he find the glassware boring, he can pull out a real monkey cup dangling from one of the vines. Nothing better than a shot of drowned insect juice to perk up the spirit of a homesick urban sakai.

Actually prawn behind the stone, is so that the Boss of the Jungle here, can make wang besar wang  besar and build big big treepenthouse mansions in the sky.

Basically you are paying for the army of thin thin workers, upkeep of the big big plants, the fuel for lighting the small small candles, around the long long bungalow, so you can see your tiny tiny meal on the large large plate.

Ranked as "the cleanest restaurant" , I absolutely agree, there is no argument here, so clean is this outlet, your wallet even gets a good spring cleaning afterwards.

The " Most Pleasant Restaurant" tag showered on them, is however highly argumentative because of the steam-y atmosphere here.Even where there is air conditioning, it is so useless,it might as well not exist. Temperature in every corner is like a desert safari from day to night.
The pleasant plants block the fans and hinder air movement till it feels like you are slowly being suffocated by a great big sinister twine force until you find yourself surrounded by a nipple gaping scenario where drenched silhouttes flit about to hypnotise you via candlelight.

Everyone from customers to staff, will feel uncomfortably warm. Either you don a thin sari or you will sweat sweat sweat like you are starring in a slow motion ,hazy ,equator porno flick.
Whoever said they don't feel warm here, must be big fat liars who parked themselves right in front of one of their floor fans .Or they Rexona-ed themselves from head to armpits to every single space in between their thighs and toes. Or they just flew in from sub zero climates with popsicle covered conifers .Maybe they had all their sweat glands removed.

When you look at the foreign staff, they all look malnourished and sickly. As if you just entered the Amazon basin and found yourself some hungry tribes.
You feel like an evil glutton. I mean how can you even have the heart to eat like a datuk when the servers all look so thin,pale,ill,underfed,undercared ,overworked.... like they contracted some unknown strain of yet to be undiscovered batuk.
The chefs on the other hand, are plumpish and well fed, cos perhaps they perfected the art of curi makan from our plates. I said perhaps.

So there you are, staring at your plate to forget the horror right in front of you,when you discover that everything has got some small purple plant or colourful flower somewhere on the plate,as well as on your food. At times, the flowers are certainly bigger than certain foods on your plate.
You will come to a point where you get suspicious and wonder if all of the decorative flowers and herbs are totally edible ? Not all I think. Maybe I am wrong or Maybe they get their workers to eat the flowers. To minimise wastage. Since eco is a new hip catchword. As well as increase fibre in their gut so they have more energy to sustain the night under such incredibly oven like quarters.

However, if you think your Ah Moi will like this place, you better make sure she comes in beachwear with a fast drying bikini set and has a hairstyle that can take constant blowing from the fans. Or she will not like you anymore, especially if she just spent 6 hours on the chair, enduring some expensive treatment at the saloon

Finally is the food nice ? Pompous looking average tasting hotel fare.

Drinks leh ? Makes you wanna thump your chest out and yell till the eagles evacuate the meromictic lake area.

Value leh ? Cherocherochero.

Atmosphere ? You pay good money to dine in a semi dark botanical nursery and help put anti perspirant companies on the Forbes list.

Price ?  Kong sized enough to make any jungle loose its virginity.

Khunthai Authentic Thai Restaurant @ Butterworth

Welcome to Nang Nak's playground.
Take away the fairy lights and the crowd and it will get incredibly eerie.

Tables are scarred from bearing thousands of hot dishes and lazily wiped till it has a layer of unclean, sticky feel to it.Floors are made kept in natural dirt form, under raised pavilions, infested with flea hosting felines that creep around trying to steal a bite.

Fine thai cuisines are a big fat hope.
Authentic ? Are you kidding me ? Really ?  Gosh .....I can't taste any fish sauce anywhere nor fresh thai herbs, all the hallmarks of authentic thai cuisine.
There is plenty of galangal, chinese celery, serai and prangin mall tomyam paste....all malaysian-thai-chinese hallmarks.
While drinks come served in disgusting plastic recycled mineral water bottle containers.

Pretty telling how this place with plenty of outlets from KL to Penang is more chinese than thai,then eh? Must be real imaginary thai cuisine coupled with refugee camp hospitality.

Where the heck do these people come from ?
I don't think they treat their staff well cos the poor fellas all look so tired and worn out like they're so genuinely fed up of us stuffing our faces like pigs.

And how exactly did they accumulated their so called awards ? Paid for after getting an invitation by a scam award giving company ? Probably.
Especially when their food presentation and cleanliness level scores a great huge ostrich egg trophy.

Only plus, is the substantial portions and fresh seafoods.
Even so, I still rate Khunthai as contender for one of the most gross thai food presentation category with the most incredible bluff for authenticity.

Authentic Prangin Mall tomyam meets Restoran Kolam Ikan Sg Kob,Kulim cum highway rest stop cuisine on a bigger scale.
100 percent yes.

C-Xin General Manager @ Berjaya Midlands Hotel ( now known as Berjaya Penang Hotel)

Tripadvisor is a great way to know if you're getting a raw deal. Bad reviews are common,glowing ones too.

However the General Manager at this Berjaya however goes on a long winded veiled offensive against the customer. I think he is either on the end of his teethers or is facing a bleak future for him to react this way.

Here are some of his crazy no PR skills ,ultra bristling defensive,mighty angry and offended replies on that site . I'm just gonna quote the brainless excerpts. For the full story, click on the links provided.

C-Xin...whoever you are...I say you are going Chi-Xin.

-----------------------------------------------------------

“It's nothing like their official website! Terrible!”

18th April 2012

We usually start off by thanking Reviewer for their feedback whereby we try to improve from our shortcomings. In this case, I would have to echo Ms Kirsten Lau's assertion that it is a SCAM as they have left RM1,311 UNPAID (only 1 nights prepaid RM742) before quietly leaving despite being reminded about the outstanding!
# It is not true that towels were left for 3 days unchanged, It IS possible that face or hand towels have been short supplied. I would asked what Reviewer's friends used to dry themselves after a shower??
# We are unable to trace the request for chopstick or fork.
we sincerely regret the inconveniences to Ms Kirsten and friends. However, we would also ask Reviewer to kindly pay up the outstanding RM1,311 bill left unsettled.

“Price ok but not for location”

13 April 2012

We thank Reviewer Stephanie Low for staying at the Berjaya Penang Hotel.
Finally, if we way counter the comment about our location, we feel that this is relative.

As such we would consider our location to be very ideal.

“This hotel managed to completely ruin my honeymoon and wasnt even interested in giving a proper apology”

23 March 2012

It is really unfortunate that the positive uses of the Social Media as a communication tool, being as powerful as it is today, is being utilize in a negative or exploitative way by some people.
It is noted with regret that despite our personal attention to her complaint (responded within the same day - I doubt many hotels can reply to guests complaints this fast!), Ms Ravinder has chosen to post her comments with an INACCURATE title here.

“Clean the Room Properly Before Opening to Guests”

8 March 2012

We thank Pinky Chocolate for the feedback which we value for the information with which we can use to correct and improve ourselves. We would have appreciated it more if this review was more timely, and not for a stay 6 MONTHS AGO in August 2011.

“RE: Front desk ...oooo...Front Desk”

1 February 2012

Again unfortunately, peak season has taken its toll on our staff who are usually more hospitable and warm.

Looking forward to having Lauknight back and hope that his future comments will be Front Desk .... YES! ... Front Desk.

“Terrible Experience”

1 February 2012
we appreciate that CMESL had good things to say about our breakfast and room itself as well as our good location near Gurney Drive. Also inspite of the very strong negative sounding title, reviewer has scored us at least 3 stars in many of the other criteria.

“only good if you visited penang adventist hotel”

4 December 2011

As for the staff, we have a young team at the Front Desk and many of them are not local Penang people, which may explain why some are not familiar with certain local places. Our Bellmen however are generally better aware & informed on such matters. We do hope that by the time of Jakarta0's next trip, they will be better trained and more familiar to provide information to our guests.

“Don't expect too much..”

4 December 2011
we were in a way disappointed that despite the many positive things and his individual scores of mostly 4 or 5 star rating, Strat77 had only given us 3 star on overall basis.

“Just a simple hotel”

11 November 2011

How strategic a location is depends on the purpose of each Guest

“Dirty and rundown, extremely filthy bathroom, stains on carpet and walls,no hot water, slow Internet but yet charges $5 per hour”

10 October 2011

however we are still shocked by the extent of Reviewer's comments.

“WORST HOTEL STAY EVER”

25 September 2011

We are certainly shocked by the very negative comments by this Reviewer

Chee Cheong Chook Stall,Kopitiams Raided & Shutdown @ New Lane

Although 2 kopitiams and the famous Chee Cheong Chook stall were shut down, I really wonder why Da Long kopitiam (the large one right at the corner ), got away with a slap on the wrist.

Da Long kopitiam belongs to the gross out category of a third world express bus stop.
Like a fountain of marbled pee atop a mountain of rubbish.
Almost on the same scale as the disgusting Goh Chew kopitiam behind it.

Not only that,Da Long,dares charge tourists and locals for using their filthy as puke toilet.

The famous Chee Cheong Chook stall which is the worst offender of them all, finally had their secret recipe revealed : RUST marinated foods and cooking utensils coated in more jaw locking rust.

Offences chalked up by the unfortunate ones were

1. unsatisfactory food preparation in terms of hygiene and cleanliness
2. obstruction (for placing their stalls and various items on the road)
3. having workers who had not been given health jabs
4. expired operating licences

The fines range from RM10 to RM250 with 2 kopitiams shut for 2 weeks.
Pathetic.Hopefully the 2 week shut down order,will teach them a lesson once and for all.

What's scarier is that one can count how many pass the test on Penang island.
If the Health Department & the MPPP really goes on the offensive, I am afraid Penang will be left with tiny pockets of unknown hawkers and kopitiams,devoid of famous fastfoods and a wide,diverse range and category of restaurants.

Read all about it in the "Sights That Kill The Appetite " The Star April 17th,below in this link

http://thestar.com.my/metro/story.asp?file=/2012/4/17/north/11115070&sec=North

Subway Restaurant @ Straits Quay

Old mother hubard is a retiree who runs this franchisee place. She doesn't dress in uniform,doesn't put on an apron,thinks her terrible dress sense makes her ugly face look better.
In fact she doesn't even wear a cap to keep out her nest of hair cos it is so crazily tussled like she just tumbled out of a cupboard.

Old mother hubard doesn't like to clean the place.She leaves trays and cups and wrappers lying all over without batting an eyelid. Half an hour goes by,even one hour later,she still refuses to clear anything.
If you are a customer who wants to sit down and eat in,you have to do the clean up yourself or push it to the next table because she is still not bothered with the mess.It is her way of getting free unpaid labour.
Needless to say crumbs are all over the place,tables are wet and dirty,yet she just doesn't give a damn.
It's not her problem. It's yours. Her job is just to, collect the money after putting a miserable sandwich together for you,stretching out the inner expensive ingredients, so she can piece them together and make herself a free meal at your expense.

Old mother hubard not only runs this place but also has other interests in another place within Straits Quay.Money minded, profit driven , kiamsiap, allows her customer to get the shortest end of the worst deal.
Forced customer charity begins with sandwich under construction.

I want to tell you what this hygienically challenged sunken triple chinned aunty's sandwiches taste like

1. Tomatoes are bleaugh,soft,overripe,warm
2. Bacon looks inedible
3. Lettuce is WET,water logged,warm
4. Breads have such a lot of airspace in between when you bite,must be EXPIRED !
5. Counter foods are not stored at the correct temperature
6. Expensive ingredients are less to increase profit.More veggies are piled up,less hams and meats ,also less cheeses are given
7. Onions stink cos she obviously used her hands and not gloves
8. Coffee has been compromised and I suspect alternately substituted with other cheaper brands
9. Iceman comes,no gloves,dirty shirt, sweating,she gets HIM to pour in the ice himself straight into the drink dispenser.This spectacle wearing witch is THAT LAZY.
10. Overall  verdict : NO GOOD,BAD QUALITY,FOOD POISONING POTENTIAL , CHEATING CUSTOMERS BY REDUCING UNNOTICEABLE AMOUNTS OF EXPENSIVE INGREDIENTS.

By shortchanging you,all that extra savings goes into her pocket/free boss/franchise holder/family/staff meal.

Fans are switched on to the maximum speed cos she either has a problem coping with hot flushes or she simply loves driving customers out of the shop by freezing them to death till they cannot warm the seat longer than they would like to.

If you think I'm just being extremely demanding as usual, a check on foursquare reveals the following

Shun Jie   : April 12,2011 They never smile to you

Jayson G : August 21,2011 Stuff is kind of lazy, poor services :-(

small r     : December 1, 2011 No bread supply ask customer wait for 2hours ....swt

chintee    : September 7, 2011 Beware of miscalculation of the total amount. The staff sometimes calculates wrongly when you buy not just a sandwich

yee theng : November 15, 2011 Service very very bad

On top of that, I found this posted on their facebook about their Beach Street outlet

Miss Klieo Lee says :

Dear Subway Malaysia, I am very disappointed with the fact that I can't post on your wall. I want to complain about your outlet at Beach St, Penang. I've been there 3 times the past 1 month and I must say, I am disappointed with all 3 visits. Quality of the food and service is really bad that I actually felt embarrassed seeing tourists at your outlet. I wonder what they were thinking in their minds. I used to visit Subway at Kelana Jaya very often and I totally love that place. Unfortunately, I can't say the same of this Penang outlet. As a standard question, you may ask me what happened etc. Trust me, just send your trainer down there and get the SOP right!

April 7 at 5:51am

The Most Annoying Penangite In The Whole World

If so happen you are in any fastfood centre or any free space that anyone can convert into a no need to pay rent mobile meeting place or office for recruiting downliners,you just hope you will NEVERRRR have to hear this Chinese Yul Brynner speak.

He's big,he's bald,he's brash,he talks cash,he can single handedly make anything you eat change into Borhochiak trash.

He carries a backpack which contains his X files containing the Rich Dad(him) ,Poor Dad(you) principle to get you in Debt ed to him.

Worse still he smells like he doesn't believe in paying more for a better brand of detergent for his laundry.Or he collects free liquid soap from all the toilet dispensers he frequents.

He doesn't wear spectacles but only puts them on when he wants to bring you over to the dark side.

Although many others may choose fastfood centres like McD's,KFC etc,to conduct their free enterprises,he takes the cake.

His voice is like a baritone catapult forcing its way past your eardrums,till it ends up knocking the inside your head over and over and over, till it hurts your brain.

Your head throbs,he NEVER stops talking and soon everyone imagines they are gonna go so crazy till they already fantasize that they are all writhing on the floor already.

REAL STRESS !

One might think he is a male Susan Boyle (who makes your blood boil) with Mammoth lungs,throwing his voice with all his might cos he is afraid nobody can hear him.

So Kingkong,Goliath loud,he doesn't need a loudspeaker.

But the fact that a fastfood restaurant like Mc Dees is confined,every diner within earshot (that is the entire floorspace) will have their eardrums assaulted when he sits down and opens his mouth.

I think their glass panels must be bullet and shockproof to withstand a beating of such a nature.

In fact if the aliens were listening in ready to invade earth,I'm sure they would do the smart thing,U turn and leave us to his mercy.

I have so far bumped into Dr Vulcan 2 times.

The first time I heard him brag about his business to a trio of similar minded men, who felt the need to match his octave in stature.

The whole room evacuated,just under the 8 minutes he was there, as every child ,teenager and female,frowned at them and huffed off, till one of them finally got the message or got embarassed enough to keep his voice down.

I cringed ,sucked my cheeks in,gnawed on my fingers and stayed the furthest distance possible till I too surrendered and left.

Not him.

He thinks that if we stare at him,we find his botakness sexy. He thinks we need to go, because we beh tahan his hot sizzling aura.

If I ever have the misfortune of meeting him a 3rd time, I would rather swallow a small capsule of cyanide.

Instant death is better.

Before he enters the fastfood/public space,the floors will experience tremors.

His voice has the ability to do what two Sunda plates can summon up.

Come to think of it,maybe that day when many parts of Penang experienced tremors,he was hosting a Cepat Kaya convention in an underground venue closest to the earth's core.

When he sits down,and opens his gap,you feel as if you are being brainwashed by Pyongyang.

with the following repetitive MML catchphrase words being hammered into your skull,to get you agree to sign Condemned on the dotted line.

PERCENT....

BELI.......

JUAL.........

LU.........

UNTUNG.........

PAHAM ?...........

AAAAAAAAAA...........

KALAU...............

PAHAM ? ...........

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...........

BETOLLLLLLLLL..........

OKAY !.................

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA !!!!!!

SO ! .......

As if you were in a special class with a special teacher giving you special after school attention.With an ulterior motive.

Except that you won't feel that you are very untung.

Cos he not only wants you to hear,he wants to spread his propaganda by killing many birds,bangaus,murais and cuckoos with One Voice.

If I were his captive audience,his choosen victim ,I know that if I were to try and flee,his voice would Taser me enough,and fill me with such fear,my body stays rooted to the ground even though my soul tries to leave my expiring,perspiring human form.

His tone instantly confirms him as a public nuisance.

You might go into a panick attack mode and chew up your paper cup or flush your head in deepest end of the toilet bowl.

If you're thinking of getting rid of him by sending him to Tibet partly due to his monk ready hairstyle,another because somewhere in your kind heart you want to make him more unmaterialistic,forget it.

Himalaya will surely be flattened and we'll all be damned.

Pray you never have to sit in close quarters and encounter his extremely irritating lectures.

Tree Monkey @ Teluk Bahang

These so called Eco warriors aka Superduperkiamsiapers, deviced a clever way to work up your appetite, by making you walk up a slope that is bad for high heels and the aged.
Mighty good for the healthy.Just bad news for the wheelchair bound.
Get it? Make sure you are fit first before you come all the way from AS or SP.

For the prices they charge there is no help offered,no ushers,a very bad first impression indeed, to begin with.
Like a DIY,No Frills place with staff more suitable for a foodcourt at prices that want to challenge Batu Ferringhi tourist open air (save on air cond bill mah...) makan places.
If you still don't understand,coming to eat here is like going to a Thai resort style Outward Bound,Urban Sakai camp in Lumut,with obstacle number one,a small steep hill designed to make you sweat and flea market toilet that posesses the aura like the one featured in Karak,the semi pontianak horror movie.
So please,try to hold your popot and dump your mess somewhere else or you might agree that Tree Monkey like Outward Bound,fosters the importance of team spirit by making you make aware that you should all go together,holding garlic, to the toilet at the back, while chanting some hocus pocus spells to keep away wandering spirits.

Basically you are paying for maintainence of the stunning leafy half hidden sea views,
not doing so great slow moving giftshop,
'natural' smelling ewwww toilet constructed from salvaged items,
upkeep of the not getting enough sunlight spice gardens that consists of pathetic potted plants and plots,grown side by side with shop plants that grew larger in the open space yet look like they were rescued from the florists dustbin,
office with second hand salvation army furniture
and the foreign staff manning the cool treetop environment
so that Tarzan can romance his Jane.

Since I still cannot get over it,I want to talk about the toilet once again.
So kanasai if you wan lausai.
Aiyo,the bowl also dunno get from where.Geli.
Looks like they salvaged the toilet bowl from a roadside dumpster and the door from a haunted kopitiam or ghost town.Very geli.

The cutlery they use looks new,same with the restaurants Thai resort style furnitures.
But you never know.
I think I can only safely vouch for the tissues ...it is probably one of the only things that are guaranteed  NEW and UNUSED in this place.
You can never be too careful .

As if that is not bad enough,you not only pay for the experience with cash or credit, but also with your own blood in kind,as you give sporadic donations for the duration that you are seated,while assuming the time honoured role of playing philantrophist to jungle mosquitoes that seek fresh platelets.

Summary :

Thai foods               weird combo between south and north east.
Deep fried foods     come soaked in glistening oil
Cold drinks            are served almost warm
Hot drinks              warm by the time they get to your table.
Mocktails               everyone orders this,nobody finishes it
Food presentation good

Food taste              conflicting

Dessert presentation below par

Dessert taste          ordinary,not worth the extra $$

Service                   irritating if you get Miss Jungle Frown

Final Bill                EXPENSIVE

Toilet                     Unlike the 3 monkeys,you'll See evil n Speak evil,

                               cos Here is very the evil

Summer Garden Food Bistro @ Vale of Tempe

Everything in here stinks of hard liquor.The stench hits you hard in the face and lingers throughout the entire restaurant.

They even lace your drinks, food sauces and cakes with it, so you unsuspectingly get high on 'happy' and hopefully get hooked into coming back.

Even though the environment may look nice from the outside,the fact that this is essentially a bistro where drinking and smoking is encouraged, makes it smell exactly like a hardcore watering hole,which defeats the purpose of it being regarded as a nice place for some nice food.

The open air bar is too close to the non smoking section. In fact it acts as separator between the smoking and non smoking area.
Smoke from the smoking section will inevitably whaft over to your side till you feel trapped in stale headache inducing air while the sexy piped in music that is played over and over again like a broken record makes you feel as if you are a hypnotised snake in a snake charmers air conditioned basket.

The much touted homemade cakes are a load of hype.Not wonderful nor scrumptious as what it is said to be.Spare me.Never again.

The lady boss tries too hard till she comes off as scary to customers,she talks too much,offers too much and gets too close for comfort.
Look,we came to eat,not to yikkity yak till our jaws ache.
Once she notices that your table will be sharing 2 orders amongst yourselves,after all that PR,
she'll return to sulk somewhere nearby while still keeping a watchful hawk eye on you.

She's also way too attentive to details till she borders on the obsessive,moving way too fast for a place like this .
Maybe she's got trust issues or maybe she feels she is the most efficient worker or maybe she feels that all her staff are useless and too slow and she'd better do it herself than rely on them,I don't know.

Look aunty,this is not a fast food restaurant.And please....you are the boss.
You are not the usher,not the cleaner,not the mamasan g.r.o.

She keeps up an aerobic pace,while going about her chores,as if trying to shed calories while trying to wipe the windows of a passing bullet train while trying her utmost to make everyone feel comfortably settled in like in HER home.
This is the reason why former superwomen aka housewives who have achieved spotless picture perfect homes without the aid of any domestic help should not open restaurants,cos they tend to clean like superfowl mother hens irregardless if there is anyone lazing around .
Most unwelcome distraction one can do without.
She destresses by cleaning. You get stressed out just by looking at all her undertakings.

When she promises to deliver the most tender cuts of meats to your table,the cooks will make it turn out so dry and hard you'll wonder if she knows what soft means or if they are out to spite her.

Portions are just enough to fill half your stomach at prices that are meant to fill her family's needs.
Not to mean that the prices are expensive,I would say that it is actually moderate until you lump in the double tax death knell .....of service charge and government tax.
When that happens, somehow you won't be convinced that the billing justifies the portion you just ate.
You might even think it is not worth it. You decide to put off coming back here again. When you return you know that you have come here not to chiak par but to chiak song.
You're not full and even if you have the whole portion/plate to yourself,you will still need to eat some roti or maggi....just to top up.


The food served,while I agree,is interesting,nicely presented and tastes quite good, I still cannot get over the fact that not only do I walk away half full, but that I am also reeking of smokey booze that sticks from head to toe,making you dizzy from the scent alone, till you take a shower to make the smell go away for good.


What I would suggest that they do is to

1.  increase the portions.
2. cut out the liquor lacing,ask the customer if they want it or not.
3. for goodness sakes get a stronger,more powerful air duct system or filter
4. omit the cake section .please
5. keep the aunty owner behind a cctv system,equip all the floorstaff with earpieces. She's got to learn to let go or be a real boss that can delegate tasks.

Spasso Milano @ Straits Quay

The pizzas are ok,the pasta is better,the prices are not.

If you don't take alcoholic drinks,may I suggest you do, cos a can of $1.20 coke costs $9.80 ++ here.
Not only that,the alcohol will most certainly help ease the pain and suffering upon receiving the bill,numbing your senses till you break out into a huge grin and smile,blurring your vision so can't really make out the total.

Pizzas arrive faster than the speed of light and look huge but is actually flattened out thin with thinned out ingredients so it looks good.
There is a possibility that you may still be hungry even if you polish the pizza on your own.

The pastas are a self explanatory demonstration , as to how and why the chef , ended up looking as if he swallowed a whole drum of olive oil coated in buffalo mozarella.And it effectively got stuck there cos it couldn't pass tru his ...erm....gap at the bottom.

Meat portions are ...chiakbehliao.....chew chew chew .....time passes by.....tick tock tick tock.....still you are chewing......till you want to jump into the marina  to do the backstroke,cos you still absolutely cannot manage to finish it even if you are a certified greedy pig.

The modern minimalist decor intimidates a lot of people.
Except those who stomp in like badly behaved loud models dressed in Ah Lian couture and try to look cool by looking cross because they're actually trying to track down the big fishes who parked their Ferrari and Lamborghini at the back.
So because she failed in her quest,again today,she is prepared for second best. Parks herself by the window of this restaurant,a vantage point indeed and zooms in with her inbuilt telescopic spy squint vision, to look out for one of those who own a yatch/white male cleaner of a yatch or perhaps to hook up with Chef Yak himself,who knows ?
Oh who cares? I don't care. Do you care ?
If you do,please make sure you are rich and loaded or ancient ang moh,or younger penniless angmoh road sweeper also can lah,haiyah,in order to land your first romantic dinner job.

If you want cheap,Italian food that is good enough,go to that outlet in Pulau Tikus.

If you eat here be prepared to choke after you get the bill.
It's actually not that expensive if you look at the menu,everything's around $35++ up up and upwards.

Pretty reasonable for quality,fresh ingredients if you ask me.
But due to the fact that the food is ok,can eat, the ++ is going to be the numero uno factor, that will make you go x x and minus minus and suddenly be able to think like an Italian by screaming "Mamamia"(interject your imaginative process with wild hand gestures at this point ) silently inside cos you wanna save face in a place like this.

Other than that the
Service staff is ok,alright, but scared stiff of the High Temple Culinary Priest himself ..... Mr Mozarella Musollini ,himself , when he makes his appearance.

Because the place is mostly empty,take care that you might give the staff a heart attack because they never expected that you wanted to eat in there.....not for a moment, till they scamper to their feet and tussle to open the doors for you,risking a head on collision with you or the glass door.