Sunday, April 8, 2012

Spasso Milano @ Straits Quay

The pizzas are ok,the pasta is better,the prices are not.

If you don't take alcoholic drinks,may I suggest you do, cos a can of $1.20 coke costs $9.80 ++ here.
Not only that,the alcohol will most certainly help ease the pain and suffering upon receiving the bill,numbing your senses till you break out into a huge grin and smile,blurring your vision so can't really make out the total.

Pizzas arrive faster than the speed of light and look huge but is actually flattened out thin with thinned out ingredients so it looks good.
There is a possibility that you may still be hungry even if you polish the pizza on your own.

The pastas are a self explanatory demonstration , as to how and why the chef , ended up looking as if he swallowed a whole drum of olive oil coated in buffalo mozarella.And it effectively got stuck there cos it couldn't pass tru his ...erm....gap at the bottom.

Meat portions are ...chiakbehliao.....chew chew chew .....time passes by.....tick tock tick tock.....still you are chewing......till you want to jump into the marina  to do the backstroke,cos you still absolutely cannot manage to finish it even if you are a certified greedy pig.

The modern minimalist decor intimidates a lot of people.
Except those who stomp in like badly behaved loud models dressed in Ah Lian couture and try to look cool by looking cross because they're actually trying to track down the big fishes who parked their Ferrari and Lamborghini at the back.
So because she failed in her quest,again today,she is prepared for second best. Parks herself by the window of this restaurant,a vantage point indeed and zooms in with her inbuilt telescopic spy squint vision, to look out for one of those who own a yatch/white male cleaner of a yatch or perhaps to hook up with Chef Yak himself,who knows ?
Oh who cares? I don't care. Do you care ?
If you do,please make sure you are rich and loaded or ancient ang moh,or younger penniless angmoh road sweeper also can lah,haiyah,in order to land your first romantic dinner job.

If you want cheap,Italian food that is good enough,go to that outlet in Pulau Tikus.

If you eat here be prepared to choke after you get the bill.
It's actually not that expensive if you look at the menu,everything's around $35++ up up and upwards.

Pretty reasonable for quality,fresh ingredients if you ask me.
But due to the fact that the food is ok,can eat, the ++ is going to be the numero uno factor, that will make you go x x and minus minus and suddenly be able to think like an Italian by screaming "Mamamia"(interject your imaginative process with wild hand gestures at this point ) silently inside cos you wanna save face in a place like this.

Other than that the
Service staff is ok,alright, but scared stiff of the High Temple Culinary Priest himself ..... Mr Mozarella Musollini ,himself , when he makes his appearance.

Because the place is mostly empty,take care that you might give the staff a heart attack because they never expected that you wanted to eat in there.....not for a moment, till they scamper to their feet and tussle to open the doors for you,risking a head on collision with you or the glass door.