You might be forgiven if you thought you have stumbled upon a soup kitchen for obese and overweight jailbirds ,at the back of this hotel.
The sight that takes you aback is 10 tables full of ravenous bulging eyes,getting ready like at the start of a marathon line, almost to the point of popping out of their sockets,eyeing the miserable offerings on which dish is most valuable to attack first.
Never mind,you let them go first and you choose to wait,cos hey,it's a buffet after all right? By right the food will be replenished right?
Wrong.
The crowd was kind enough to leave us the only thing from the battlezone,that they were not interested in for that moment.Stewed chicken feet with no mushroom.So that was exactly what we ate first .Stewed chicken feet and white porridge.
When we went back for a second round even that became extinct.
Half an hour goes by before the staff replenish one dish. I don't care what it is,nothing looks edible.
By this time the Hungry Starving Ghosts,have gone on to bulldoze other things they didn't care for in the beginning.
I think if they had steamed rocks they would have snatched those too.
Finally after wrestling past a rampaging aunty anaconda, I got some chai boey that looked so overboiled till the leaves were about to disintegrate.
You could kill a bird with the pau.The paste is atrocious.
The fairytale dimsums were the happy ending at the bottom of some fatso's stomach lining.Of course naturally never to be replaced with new ones ever again.
It was interesting to note that I could easily poison the entire ecosystem just by throwing the dish of fish with beans back into the ocean.But those desperados also whacked them as if there was no tomorrow.
Cos they ain't humans,they're pigs with stomachs of goats.
Woefully I look back at where the stewed chicken feet used to stand,.
My friend,oh my friend ....where art thou?
In its place were stewed half boiled eggs.Laid by feetless chooks.
Cos no more feet even.Just saucey hard boiled eggs which are so hard to digest without a drink.
So you drag your feet over to the drink section.The dark dark half lit area where the coffee machine lies shivering,hoping the gang will overlook its existence.
Forget about any other drink other than self pressed coffee and water.
You tell me,how to eat Teochew porridge with hard boiled eggs, kerabu whattheshit , nescafe kaukau and creamer? Cialat,real cialat.
Then...suddenly the skies opened up,a rainbow appeared and I thought I struck lottery until I found out that the chopped chicken smells and tastes so unappetising as if they were left to absorb the roadside drain aroma of Cecil Street market.
Still they soldiered on.And whacked all that to oblivion in no time with big happy satisfied smiles.
That's it.
Now I know what the heck is wrong. Everything tastes like leftovers from the various restaurants in this hotel.
And I can't believe we're actually paying for it..
Ugh !!
The sight that takes you aback is 10 tables full of ravenous bulging eyes,getting ready like at the start of a marathon line, almost to the point of popping out of their sockets,eyeing the miserable offerings on which dish is most valuable to attack first.
Never mind,you let them go first and you choose to wait,cos hey,it's a buffet after all right? By right the food will be replenished right?
Wrong.
The crowd was kind enough to leave us the only thing from the battlezone,that they were not interested in for that moment.Stewed chicken feet with no mushroom.So that was exactly what we ate first .Stewed chicken feet and white porridge.
When we went back for a second round even that became extinct.
Half an hour goes by before the staff replenish one dish. I don't care what it is,nothing looks edible.
By this time the Hungry Starving Ghosts,have gone on to bulldoze other things they didn't care for in the beginning.
I think if they had steamed rocks they would have snatched those too.
Finally after wrestling past a rampaging aunty anaconda, I got some chai boey that looked so overboiled till the leaves were about to disintegrate.
You could kill a bird with the pau.The paste is atrocious.
The fairytale dimsums were the happy ending at the bottom of some fatso's stomach lining.Of course naturally never to be replaced with new ones ever again.
It was interesting to note that I could easily poison the entire ecosystem just by throwing the dish of fish with beans back into the ocean.But those desperados also whacked them as if there was no tomorrow.
Cos they ain't humans,they're pigs with stomachs of goats.
Woefully I look back at where the stewed chicken feet used to stand,.
My friend,oh my friend ....where art thou?
In its place were stewed half boiled eggs.Laid by feetless chooks.
Cos no more feet even.Just saucey hard boiled eggs which are so hard to digest without a drink.
So you drag your feet over to the drink section.The dark dark half lit area where the coffee machine lies shivering,hoping the gang will overlook its existence.
Forget about any other drink other than self pressed coffee and water.
You tell me,how to eat Teochew porridge with hard boiled eggs, kerabu whattheshit , nescafe kaukau and creamer? Cialat,real cialat.
Then...suddenly the skies opened up,a rainbow appeared and I thought I struck lottery until I found out that the chopped chicken smells and tastes so unappetising as if they were left to absorb the roadside drain aroma of Cecil Street market.
Still they soldiered on.And whacked all that to oblivion in no time with big happy satisfied smiles.
That's it.
Now I know what the heck is wrong. Everything tastes like leftovers from the various restaurants in this hotel.
And I can't believe we're actually paying for it..
Ugh !!
