Sunday, February 27, 2011

Hammer Bay @ Queensbay roundabout

This fellas place is popular because of the view of the Penang Bridge and the ridiculously priced seafood.
At $8 per standard size of ikan pari,$4 for one tomyam soup and $5 per plate of deep fried sotong it is a price others find hard to match on this island.

His customers are truly muhibbah,Malaysian to the core,
from Mamak towkays and their entire clan in tow
to groups of Mat and Minah Rempits
and Ah Bengs and Ah Lians who've just finished work at the nearby complexes all having a great time until the waiting gets too excrutiating,which is often.
The ultimate example of all our amazing oneness would be,that,one operator even offers black crabs which the muslims are prohibited to eat.I suppose it goes into the same cooking pot yet it attracts no controversy.

If I am not mistaken the owner was issued with a notice by the MPPP last year to vacate the beach area where 3 registered ikan bakar businesses,a crocs shoe pirate,toy and shisha peddler also operate jointly from.
He shot back demanding for compensation,dragging in the race card as well as the backing of an aggressively zealous on the verge of maniacal political party while crying out loud that he would loose up to RM$3,000 per night if they were to demolish his stall and he would fight them to the very end like how the infamous Do Re Mi at Tanjong Bungah did,if that were to occur.

Do a simple math and that shows you that he earns up to RM$100,000 in small change,per month,perhaps inclusive of the RM$2 parking charges that he imposes on each car that parks in the vicinity of the beach area.
Yep,it's his grandfather's road,if he would have you believe.

The trend that he has started has manifested in more hawkers who have even gone to the extent of pitching in open air tents right smack into the grassy turf,piling their trade after the second roundabout.If the council doesn't act soon,likewise they (let's call them Earth Princes) who peddle corn,kites,clothes,burgers,toys,etc too will start demanding for their right to squat there,the instant enforcement shows a whimper.The used to be beautiful strip that still attracts dating couples,singletons and picnicking families is truly in danger of being an overstepped dumping ground of an every night seaside pasar malam obstructive spectacle.That time all the bachelors,lovebirds and sundry will be given 'the look' to vacate the trading posts of the almighty illegal hawkers.If you continue supporting them,they will one day bite back,and tell you where your boundary is,where you cannot step,where you cannot go and what you cannot do,on what used to be a free space originally meant for leisurely activites.

So alright,I take it that he's doing us a service,being a provider of affordable food on our increasingly expensive island.
However many things here need a second take.

First of all if you choose to sit too close to the waters edge,you might cut your pretty feet on the illegally reclaimed extension from the original small shore, that's full of construction debris.Apart from courting collapse and drowning (the waters here have swift flowing undercurrents and are deep,so watch your kids)please do not come in stilletoes or they will be destroyed by sand and sharp bricks.
Besides that,there is a foul odour ponging from the sea side to spoil your meal.I didn't want to check where their drainage system went to nor inspect the loo.Times like this,intentional ignorance is bliss.Besides I didn't have the stomach for some revolting discovery either.
Due to the volume of diners,the fact that the entire place does not attract pests like flies and cockroaches is mighty puzzling.
Then if you take a look at the cut fish meats on display and notice that it is off colour yet does not smell fishy is another cause for concern that chemicals or preservatives might have come into play here.
The medium sized prawns and chicken meat are definitely hypermart produce.The chicken meat is on the verge of spoiling and the tiger prawns are so expectedly plastic.
Plate after plate of deep fried,lightly crumbed sotong that decorates almost every table,comes from a wok that has never seen a change of oil the entire night.

He makes up for all this with winning recipes for the grilling sauces as well as dips.It is fiery,delish,pulsating and unforgettable.
Also,although he may look like he's never had a change of clothes since the 90s,occasionally some mini skirted 'beb's(with a slit!) discarded by or unable to hook up with the motor boys that hang out opposite Jerejak Island will attempt to catch his eye.Don't know what the outcome is.

Hygiene is a major concern here so you eat at your own risk.Do not bring your tourist pals unless you intend to disgust them with the gross muddy effluent smells,sticky indon kongsi style cantina tables,quick rinsed cutleries and extremely long waiting period(minimum 45 minutes).
For entertainment (when the waiting gets too nerve wracking) head over to the kitchen at Seri Pantai where two crazy fishes,one an Arowana and the other Idonnowat,that are stacked atop one another,like to pretend to bite your finger the instant you touch the glass divide.
Then shift your eyes over to the cash register between the 2 crazy fishes and a smaller fish tank,look downwards at a yellow laminated paper stuck onto the wall.
It outlines a BRUTAL work philosophy plucked surprisingly from Prof Ungku Aziz.A wake up call to his workers,that's just so shocking and funny all at once to us diners.
On the same note,however many Sing kah pore eans and Indian tourists somehow seem to enjoy themselves here tremendously,with nary a peep of outrage or complain.
Wonder why......

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Fowl Heritage Saboteurs

I have no words that can describe those stubborn profit driven greedy swiftlet farmers except to tell you that perhaps we can do our part by treating bird's nest the same way as shark's fin.
To NOT consume or buy them at all and try our best to spread the message to the people in China,their biggest customers.
To me the ASNI are really good at dragging their feet on this issue since they love seeing their blast from the 80s ting tong earring president whom they probably tell "you look twenty dear"(yea right) in the papers.

Why don't they themselves live right next door to their farms I wonder?After all she did issue statements in the past that demanded for compensation and disregarded the health of the occupants living in the adjoining shophouses.
If the state government dares to show some balls,I am sure they can pass some legislations to outlaw this industry.Why so quiet when confronted with this?Where's the Lion and his son when you need them?
Anyway,the best nests should come from natural caves,not shophouses whose walls are coated in toxic paint.Better not to harvest at all if you ask me.

One thing I can tell is that I know a celebrity who religiously adhered to the concoction.
She would buy only the best grades.Between the ages of 20 to 40 she did indeed look radiant,glowing and ravishing.
Now that she's pushing 50,she looks her age,with less wrinkles,that's all.No more radiance,beauty ravaged by time.
There is no way you can stop or slow down the curse of ageing because mother earth is after all blessed with gravity.
Not even with the best bird's nest or the scalpel can you stop yourself from looking 50 when you are 50.

Here are 2 articles from todays The Star with regards to the above title.
Would it please you to know that the Spice Garden lady boss(the former Central Market pioneer t-shirt artist) is a council member on the Heritage Trust,oh Miss ghastly supershiny eyeshadow president?

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Bird's Nest Puts Status In The Soup(by Manjit Kaur)

GEORGE TOWN: Malacca and George Town's joint Unesco World Heritage Site status may be in jeopardy due to the conversion of heritage buildings here into swiftlet breeding premises.
Unesco's World Heritage Centre has expressed concern over the matter following a series of reports the organisation had received.
Centre director Francesco Bandarin said,in a letter dated Jan14,the reports stated that there were 200 to 300 swiftlet farms in George Town.
It is believed the reports received by Bandarin had alleged that a number of the farms were located in heritage buildings,notably shophouses.
These shophouses were sealed and continuosly moistened to provide a conducive environment for the swiftlets to the possible detriment of the building fabric.
Badarin urged the authorities in Malaysia ti verify the accuracy of the reports and should the allegations be true,to assess the impact of the situation.
In his letter to Ali,Bandarin pointed out that the World Heritage Committee had in its decision to inscribe the site,singled out the significance of shophouses as an integral part of the heritage twonscape.
The letter was subsequently forwarded to the National Heritage Department and George Town World Heritage Incorporated.
Penang Local Government and Traffic Management Committee chairman Chow Kon Yeow said he received the letter as a subtle warning for stakeholders to take action or face the possibility of George Town being delisted as a world heritage site.
Chow said the Penang Municipal Council had identified swiftlet farms run by 121 operators and 128 heritage buildings.A total of 28 new and unregistered farms run by 27 operators had been closed down.
Chow said action to move out the remaining farms was being taken in stages.
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Unesco Raises Swiftlet Issue (by Winnie Yeoh)

Take a walk around certain parts of George Town's inner city such as Kimberley Street and Che Em Street and one will be greeted by the unmistakable twittering of swiftlets in the air.
These calls are not from the actual birds but recordings installed by owners of swiftlet houses to attract more of the avian to roost and breed in these heritage premises.
The small birds are a subject of contention with the state government as George Town's joint Unesco World Heritage Site status with Malacca may be in jeopardy due to the conversion of heritage buildings here into swiftlet breeding premises.
On Jan 14 Unesco issued a letter through Permenant Delegation of Malaysia to Unesco Ali Ab Ghani regarding the swiftlet issue in the inner city.
Association for Swiftlet Nests Industry (ASNI) president Carole Loh said the association had not been informed of the letter issued by Unesco.
We hope the state government will furnish us with a copy of the letter so that we can better understand the concern of Unesco and respond accordingly.
Unesco has heard only one side of the story and it is only fair that we be given the opportunity to tell our side,she said when contacted yesterday.
Loh said that many of the birdhouses were already in existence even before Unesco came in to audit the city in 2007,adding that some are even 20 to 30 years old.
Shouldn't that be considered part of the inner city's living heritage?The houses were here then.It wasn't an issue then why is it an issue now?she asked
Penang Heritage Trust council member Rebecca Duckett-Wilkinson said the birds are all inside the houses which are disguised as nice heritage units.
The owners make them look nice outside and people will not realise it is a birdhouse unless they go to the back of the building.The birds usually fly in and out of the buildings in the early morning and late evening,she said.
She said Unesco's warning letter was timely to push things along,adding that Unesco was concerned about this because many people had brought the issue up with them.
Duckett-Wilkinson said she hoped the state government would do something about this.
They need to start showing the people that they are serious about the swiftlet issue,she added.
Bird's nest is a delicacy in Chinese cuisine.Swiftlets are responsible for building the saliva nests.
The edible birds nests are among the most expensive animal products in the world.The nests have been used in Chinese cooking for over 400 years,most often as bird's nest soup.

2011: The Year CNY Prices Never Backed Down

As we all know,every chinese new year,prices go up due to the extra cost of goods.Some stalls absorb the price increase only for their regular customers,the instant outsiders order it's a different story altogether.
This year,everyone expected prices to revert to the original after the festive period.
Wrong.Now even when we service our car,we get slapped with a 6% service tax.Did you know that?
Do check your bill carefully.
Ron 97 is $2.50,Ron 95 is raring to join the Up,up and away stable.
So much for "no GST" when almost every service sector gets arm twisted to contribute to the next political coffer for that ONE freako with rosy cheeks,garupa lips,triple chin and wife with the towering hair.
In Georgetown,our traders have the added stress of having to contend with arson,$500 or "don't step out of your premises"threats by a triad uprising and developer tactics.

Now who are the Penang culprits that have so daringly crossed out their old menus with marker ink and made us pay for their continued existence?
I'll start with a few first and keep you updated when I come across more.
1.Pang Hainan seafood
2.James Foo Western
3. 747

Al Kisah Shisha dan Hookah

The apparatus looks very enticing and chic.This issue has been debated on since 2006.
In 2009 Malacca imposed a ban but operators couldn't care a damn.
It made the news again when the Health Ministry issued some press statements more so when the righteous capital of Kota Baru followed the U.A.E in banning the addicitive vessel.
In the meantime many have gotten hooked,the sellers have a strong online presence not being subjected to any forms of control and more youngsters will be experimenting with it since it looks so cool.
Heck there's even a facebook page that's been set up to defend the pipes.
Just what are we gonna do about it?Nothing as usual.

So let's just say you are a non believer and want to fill your lungs with more toxicity and tobacco purity than a measly ciggey.Just so you think all those graphic pictures the ministry forces them companies to show are for wussies,where you can get them in Penang?
Oh just about any place where there's a university or a congregation of college students and the tourist belt.To be specific it is
1.Hammerbay
2.Shops between Tesco and USM
3.Batu Feringghi
4.Gelugor
5.Outside the Snake Temple
Which of the above is the cheapest outlet?Please attach a rubber hose to a Kancil exhaust pipe let it filter past an aquarium (cheapest would be stolen goods from Lorong Kulit)and inhale.

Before you decide to embark on the Marlboro man's journey,here are some very boring but bare facts plucked from the NST.
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Sheesha is properly known has hubble bubble is much much dangerous than cigarettes because it has more monoxide than cigarettes. Properly there has not been vast research on sheesha but it is very dangerous than cigarettes . The tests were conducted by Laboratoire National d\'Essais (LNE) on three types of shisha: shisha with self-lighting carbon used in small amounts, self-lighting carbon used in large amounts, and natural carbon shisha used in small volumes.
The laboratory used the three parameters that are measured when analysing smoke on a packet of cigarettes: the amount of tar, nicotine, and carbon monoxide.
For 70 liters (16 gallons) of smoke produced by the shisha, the small amount self lighting carbon tar results were measured at 319 milligrams, 32 times the legal European limit for a cigarette, while the large amount self-lighting carbon measured at 266 milligrams, 27 times the cigarette limit, and the natural carbon measured at 1,023 milligrams, a 102 times more than a cigarette.
Carbon monoxide measurements fared badly as well, as tests indicated that the carbon measurements from the three types of shisha came to 17 times the normal cigarette limit, 15 times, and 52 times the limit.
The self-lighting carbon in both large and small amounts for nicotine measured about one cigarette per shisha, while the natural carbon was the nicotine equivalent of smoking six cigarettes. The health ministry warned the entire arabs that sheesha is much more dangerous than cigarette .
A SMOKING ban should not be applied only to cigarettes but also shisha, a flavoured tobacco water pipe popular with Malaysians.
According to Associate Professor Dr Nabilla Abdul Mohsein Al-Sadat of Universiti Malaya, 1.5 per cent of women in Malaysia currently smoke but this number could rise to 18 per cent by 2014 if there are no barriers placed on shisha smoking.
Last week, the United Arab Emirates tightened the noose on smoking in public with new regulations that ban smoking in hotels, cafes and restaurants. It has also imposed stricter limitations on the widely used nargileh (shisha), the traditional .

That 24 Hour Fried Chicken Outlet

This was reported in Klang.Am posting this up because I find it interesting that the page has mysteriously disappeared from the Malay Mail online site even though the date of publication is supposed to be today.
As we all know the quality in this place had gone to the dogs,I prefer the Johor based chicken chain and the one with the coney dogs, anytime over this since they fry their chooks on the spot when you make your order.
The cooking oils used are not only bad,their chicken is horrid too especially since they decided to source their meats locally and not take from their farms like before.only the flour still tastes the same depending if you are lucky or not.
Worlds apart from their adverts,stepping into make a purchase nowadays is like a trip to the casino,where on good days you might what you longed for and on most other days...bleaugh!
Make sure you read this on an empty stomach.

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Fried Rat Anyone?

KLANG: A dead rat was found in the frying wok of a restaurant in Jalan Tengku Kelana here last week before it was closed down after surprise checks by the Klang Municipal Council and the Klang Health Department.
The rat-in-wok find at the 24-hour fried chicken outlet was the most sickening case discovered during the two-hour operation in which the team inspected a dozen eateries.
The raid took place after officers went undercover and reported their findings to the council.
Besides eight outlets which were closed down, four were slapped with fines ranging from RM500 to RM1,000 and issued warning letters.
The council's deputy health and environment officer, Amran Jali, said: "The restaurants ordered to close, including two popular 24-hour outlets, will have to cease operating for 14 days. If their owners want to re-open, they will have to fulfil all council and Klang Health Department regulations."
Amran said overall, the level of cleanliness at all 12 outlets was unsatisfactory.
"The unclean and unhygienic environment they operated in posed a serious threat to the health of their customers, who were unaware how food was prepared in the kitchen," he said.
"This attitude of the restaurant and food outlet owners was disappointing as the council had carried out numerous campaigns to increase the level of cleanliness here."
He said the council would continue to send undercover officers to check on eateries and conduct raids.
"The operators should maintain a high level of cleanliness, especially in their kitchens."

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Himalayan Pink Salt @ Supermarkets,Health Stores,Gourmet Outlets

Spotted this ingredient while doing my groceries yesterday.No I wasn't going to fall for this again,as in the case with my misadventure with Dendritic salt.Did a quick search online,on the spot and came up with nothing.Unconvinced more so since it had the colour of Patrick's pants (the starfish from Spongebob) I headed to the nearest wifi zone and started digging.
Google it and you will find that many have only good things to say about the salt,its properties and associated wonders.Dwelve deeper and you find articles like this that have been disputed and mocked by what some suspect are the sellers of the pink salt itself.

I am not the only paranoid Penangite as some would have you believe,the Germans had a run a chemical analysis cos I suppose they too were mighty suspicious.Am not,however including the table here,I'm sure you can find that yourself.

But I do believe there is reason to doubt that these salts are safe for consumption.I would presume that it would be better to market it as a foot soak or bath salt as opposed to a unproven to be foodsafe product.
Now that it has hit our local shelves,you be the judge of whether or not it should go into your dish since gourmet chefs like Jamie Oliver n celebrities have put their stamp of approval on its benefits.

This link came out in 2008.Read the article n following feedback b4 introducing it into your system.As with every health product,do approach it with a pinch of salt.

Since we are on this subject,I do hope that you are aware that some Taiwanese living in Penang and the northern states are marketing their home made vinegars(the ones that we put into the mudballs,throw into the sea,add a capful to our washing)as a cure all.It's highly debatable if you should consume this as well.After all too much of a good thing is bad for the body.
Case in point?
In the late 80s,many Aussie vitamin companies set up store here.Some retirees can tell you tales of how they took all the information on the pamphlets as the word of god,consumed the western herbs for blood thinning purposes(reason given on the brochures was to prevent artery clog up that would lead to heart attacks) ,etc and paid the price for it in their old age.

http://naturalhealthnews.blogspot.com/2008/01/salt-may-be-health-scam.html


Monday, February 21, 2011

Continental Bakery @ Nagore Road

Update September 2011:

The charlotte was no where to be seen.
In her place is a Dracula hairsprayed short sourpuss and her tall Olive Oyl sidekick who are sadly afflicted with the just cannot smile disease.
Their foreign worker staff are much nicer in contrast to this duo.
You should know that this bakery is almost totally reliant on old repeat customers who have a greedy look etched on their tired faces as they clutch their purchases and hurriedly trot out to their illegally parked vehicles.
Every confection used here is STILL extremely sweet (such a contradiction to the supposed to be healthy breads they sell)and so is everything else on the gum rotting menu.....the secret that makes it such a hit with the islanders and our dental practitioners a very happy bunch indeed.

80 percent of the original restaurants of the failed f&b spurt in theNagore road vicinity have come to closure.
Fast forward to today,an exciting slew of newcomers that'll give them a run for their money are...
  1. Ritz from Tanjong Tokong (can't see how they can unseat Continental since the name sounds classier than their cakes that taste of everything that was in the fridge),
  2. Si Tigun across the road directly opposite them(a no air cond pricier snack stop)
  3. and a handful of new snack cantinas popping up down the road where all the old businesses have miserably failed to attract diners.
It'll be interesting to note how Continental withstands the competition and onslaught.Just above the cash register a couple of mythical feng shui creatures get ready to counter Si Tigun.

Looking forward to see this entire street transform into a bakers heaven.It'd be great won't it?No more having to come here,play by their rules and be forced to make our purchases before dusk.

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This is possibly the most expensive bakery in Penang.
Housed in a very retro blast from the 70s corner shoplot with minimal(read pathetic) seating space,they boast of good business where many have crumbled.
Their best seller is a sweet cinnamon roll that costs close to $1.50 for ONE 8cm x 8cm x 9cm bun which I find way too sweet.It's like a cross between a sugary raisin fruitcake and a soft layered sponge that Spidey could get entangled in.
Anyway,anything sold behind the glass counter costs a bomb (from pastas,soups,pizzas etc)compared to the breads on the open shelves.I figure it's mostly due to the local girl hooks an angmo trophy factor.
Yea,I know it's a no brainer but that's just what it is.Every time a local lady and her angmo hubby open a hawker stall/shop/restaurant,they think they have the right to overcharge us customers based on their union alone.In short this bakery became famous at a time when we Malaysians were still mired in the opinion that everything foreign meant high quality and great compared to little inferior us.That the 'farang' hubby would bake a bread that could fly us to europe in a bite.(upturned eyes)

Ladies do watch your men here as the shortest pretty lady at the cash register will shamelessly flirt with any(ugly or handsome) and every(black,yellow especially white) man wearing pants regardless of whether he's young or dying.

She'll blatantly ask them to take her out for a movie even if he looks like a toad.
I don't know how successful she is in getting a date,never cared to ask,never want to know except if my man was about to be seduced by this charlotte.
Even if  I were to show her my fangs and claws I don't think she would back off.
That desperate she is.

Fatty Loh (Nagore Road) vs Fatty Loh (Fettes Park)

Don't understand why a court case was necessary.
In any case the Fettes Park version wins hands down for taste,with heartwarming soups,where the drinks are mostly self concocted but gets a big zero for messy sloppy oily woof woof diner presentation.

Nancy Sit one ups the many proofs of his cooking prowess declared via various stained newspaper articles that declared him the best in Malaysia.Wonder what the huge sword represents though.

The Nagore Road version has cookbook perfect glossy chickens which makes him very popular at tourism fairs however uninspiring the foodcourt factoried flavours may be.
This outlet also has a tendency to throw in fried garlic(yucks)into the soup (gone case,totally corrupted) and rice(ok this is not that bad).
If you do request for self made drinks they won't bat an eyelid about passing off bottled drinks as that since,Datuk Kee,an Alleycat and many gods guard the entrance to the outlet.

If you ask me,I would prefer the former cos parking is easy,pony tailed lady manning the counter is such a sweetheart,if only I can get past the metal bedpan plates (the latter still uses plastic/melamineware)

Ultimately the choice is yours since so many other good chicken rice places have cropped up on the island outselling them both ever since.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Getai Wedding Dinners @ Penang

Potential brides to be,you want to be cautious as to whom you employ as your wedding planner because you want your day to end on a beautiful note ok?
Due to economic reasons,some will agree to hosting their wedding dinners at association halls,schools and such.
I'm sure you don't want to start a big fat quarrel on your wedding night,with you sulking in the corner just cos you took the organisers word for it when they promised you a great value package with singers,food,drinks and the works.
Pester them as much as possible for as much information that they can provide you,with regards to the performers,to prevent this from happening to you.

Just what am I rambling on about eh?

Well tonight,I attended a wild wedding dinner at the Han Chiang College where the Rela officers were only too willing to be,since there was a surprise waiting in store for them.
The event started off as cheesily as most Ah Beng and Ah Lian style dinners go,until the performers took to the stage and degenerated into an almost X rated stag party that's great for men,but bad news for husbands once they get home.

Which planet they materialised from I don't know,but the girls can inspire even mental men to hold umbrellas and dance in front of a makeshift stage under the onslaught of a full scale thunderstorm.
So scantily clad were they it might as well have been a Pattaya strip club one step short of a tiger show.
They kept the tiniest pantied singer for the finale by which time testestorones had peaked to an all time high,leading the meekest of men to starting scaling chairs,taking off their shirts before swinging their shirts atop their heads helicopter style,while happily pounding their crotch in the air,oblivious to the fact that there were KIDS,innocent kids in the midst.Tsk tsk tsk......
Fuelled by liqour,tight panties and wobbling contents encased inside ballooning bras,the men in the room became immune to the other females presence especially so the BLACK faced bride in the hall.
Thank goodness,the stage had no metal stick anywhere to be seen,if not,the uncles too would have pole danced just to show off their virility to the chagrin of their respective Home Ministers.

I pity the poor dear and wonder if she had made some great enemies in her lifetime and this was payback time for some rascal.

For your own sake,to ensure you won't be the laughing stock of your still unattached bffs for years to come and your mom in law will not give you hell cos your father in law had an erection in public which he tried to hide,by using HER handbag as cover,please VET your organiser/organising committee/wedding planner VERY CAREFULLY.

The list of questions you should be asking them are.....

1.  Is there going to be a stage at the venue?

2.  If yes will there be singers or performers?

3.  What will the singers be wearing or not wearing at all?

4.  Does the organiser think that a sequined peacock skirt that embraces  yet reveals Victoria's Secret fashion is modest enough for a wedding?

5.  Have the singers ever appeared in Hungry Ghost festival performances?

6.  Check if the organiser knows that beachwear,underwear and tiny hot pants that look like bikinis are what one should not wear to weddings.

7.  Does the singer like to add "HUH!" and "HAH!" to punctuate every sentence in the lyrics?

Expect to see some wringed ears tomorrow,courtesy of the ladies that took offence to their men's blatant showmanship onstage and off,on what was supposed to be the brides night,tonight.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Mee Manja @ Hutton Lane

We didn't end up here based on anyone's recommendations.
Just out of curiosity,since at any one time,the shop always had customers and was never empty.
If you pass by on a bike in the early part of the evening before sundown,chances are you might have made a mental note to stop here for a bite since the smell is quite enticing,meandering its way like an invisible net to snare you just before you reach the traffic lights down the street.
Later in the night the shoplight catches your attention as it bathes the streetfront adding to your melancholic yearning for the lost bustle of what used to be our beloved Georgetown's nights of yore,so alive with activity and humming with people.
You end up here because you remembered how the city centre used to throb at night,with families in every nook and corner,grandmas sitting outside on rickety chairs as they fanned themselves while watching passers by go about their business,the streets not so eeriely empty unlike now... years after the rent repeal.
In short you come here for the associated memories yet sadly this is one of those cases where the food smells better than it actually tastes.
Still,lonely old people staying in the vicinity,that are on a strict diet due to illness,actually get recommendations from other old folks to stop by here since the owners are very accommodative in regards to customers preferences.
They make the effort to wobble on their unsteady feet all the way here knowing they will always get an unpatronising smile and warm welcome that needs no words spoken, from the owners that know how not to prod without coming across as cold.The couple with the kindest eyes,exudes a comforting sense of familiarity even though they may be complete strangers.
As such,come here not so much for the food but to partake of a drink and drench in the sadness we all share as modernity engulfs our city and leaves our old people forgotten and unrequitted in familial love until the next chinese new year.

Lest I get more teary eyed,I shall stop reminiscing and sum this place up below,with a good and bad lowdown, that I present to you with a bucket of mixed emotions.
Times like these it truly sucks to be brutally honest but I know that every one of you readers have your own opinion and in the end when we are given the choice to choose whether or not to come here,it is not based on a bad review alone but whether you have the epicurean heart in you to give it a miss or a try.

The Bad
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1. Not enough salt used in everything
2. Whatever bony fragments of chicken meat you find inside your dish is on the verge of spoiling cos kept under unsuitable temperature.
3. Blandest mamak mee goreng I ever had
4. Strangest mee rebus you will ever taste cos it's like a cross between a very dilute soup(no thick sauce) with aji and noodles.
5. Very different from the regular mamak fare

The Good
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1. Very very very clean environment(surprise!)
2. Very rich and creamy milk tea with rose syrup
3. Spices slowly build up,head feels like bursting even though your tongue tells you the cabai is not hot
4. Very very nice owners
5. Very generous with the potatoes,lime and green cabai dip.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Jin Hoe Cafe(Nasi Lemak) @ opposite Bandar Baru supermart,Pulau Tikus

This is another one of those ridiculous open for two hours only joints.
Come at seven in the morn and he ain't open yet..If you arrive after 10am,everything is gone.
The customers that he attracts are those that like to pack at least 20 packets at one go and also the Sadists that love the brutal sting of his sambal.
I Really do Hate the fact that us diners have been taught so well to obey THEIR rules.That we have to comply if we want to have the 'privilege'of tasting their produce.No,he's not rude but I don't think I am alone in feeling irritated cos his customers consist of an increasingly ageing crowd with the young too restless to endure the stupidity of such a no brainer operating hour.
So....what's so great about his Nasi Lemak?
This is of the Penang Nyonya/Southern Thai/Myanmar/Chinese/Indian influenced Nasi Lemak.Nothing close to the Malaccan nor Singaporean varieties.Most Penangites might think this as Nyonya but the lineage has been so diluted over time and by intermarriages giving rise to such a hodge podge dish.
I admit to liking his almost blackened fried fish,it's fresh and lightly marinated with assam but lately I don't know what has happened.
His rice has attained the texture of hard to digest pulut so much so that I would suggest that you absolutely have to tapau it in order for it to be further softened by the banana leaf wrap on the journey home....or risk choking since it is served very dry.
The prawns which used to be so delicious are now what I suspect to be of the farmed species and therefore unable to manipulate the spice and seasonings to the max.It now tastes flat.
The sambal is not of the malay style ikan bilis and onion variety.This is really sambal belacan which used to be more redddish in colour but also lately has been increasingly brownish in shade(chillies expensive mah)
The raw cucumbers would have a true blue Nyonya rolling up her kebaya sleeves to give his ears a good twisting for the sheer vulgarity of size and clumsiness in the cut itself.
Price wise has been kept moderate(below $4) but I fear if he continues dishing out such bad quality stuff which his dad would have frowned upon,his customers won't return for more.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Make Door Nails @ Greenlane

As long as you stick to the drive in counter and never EVER use the toilet next to the cashiers,you will remain an innocent virgin.
The toilet is forever clogged and gross, floating with human by products donated by the desperately in need or those who have a phobia towards flushing handles.
If you really,really have to dine in however please stay downstairs and keep your experience short and sweet.
DO NOT head upstairs.
Why?
Well the place upstairs attracts teens from the many schools in the vicinity like bees to honey.
If the TV3 office were located next door,this place would be featured fairly regularly on some moral decay programme.The anti valentine ustazah would definitely tut tut this too.
Reason?
This is where Hormonal teens like to congregate.
You don't need to fly and endure a shItty AA flight to Paris to see lovers locked in embrace,nor head onto Haadyai for a 'show'.
Our teenagers will show you(only if you are another teenager) just how it is done here,in uniform on schooldays and in casual clothes on weekends.
(Just imagine if one cctv recording falls into the clutches of our VCD pirates.All the adults on the island would want to watch this)
I don't want to elaborate further,just that if you are holier than thou parents who have forgotten what puppy love is and you have a teenage daughter who INSISTS on having some 'clean' 'fun time' here hanging out with her 'friends'as they are 'studying' or HAVE to complete a 'school project' in this outlet,(think I have given enough hints of keywords to watch out for,parents)
you might want to entertain the thought of her and her pickle,beef n onion loving infatuation of the moment exploring each others cavities in public.
In case you didn't already know,our teenage girls are not promiscous,it's just that their cell number gets passed around EVERY single boys schools on the island(oh?you didn't know that?),whom apparently message them enmass for a response,which leads to a torrid hook up here (cos there's wifi mah).
Yea,you heard me,don't just blame the pimply dingdongs......as long as the Juliets don't initiate or give the final OK,the Casanovas will keep their distance one signal away.Once the wispy Romeos get the green light........remember,
Adults please stay downstairs for two reasons
1. To avoid making them 'Steam'
2. To avoid having our already messed up heads ending up more corrupted knowing our young cyborgs are hell bent on a softdrink/fries fuelled mission to copulate mars and venus .
Wonder if Facebook will be blamed for a population explosion after this?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Swez Brasserie @ Eastin Hotel,Penang

I didn't even get to eat here to begin with.You know why?
You know how you call up to make reservations?And once the operator passes you to the coffeehouse which is the Swez Brasserie?your conversation will go something like the one below....
Bear with me first.We will get to that later.I have tried calling in twice on two different occasions once on Christmas and another in the days preceeding CNY to enquire about the price,what spreads they had,any activities and so on so forth.
I thought the first time I spoke to the Chinese ahmoi she was so dumb,then on another occasion it was a Malay girl and she could equal the first dumb broad.
You can speak from English to Manglish to Malay to try to get the message across to them,but somehow they will not register anything you are saying.
Bottom line is just walk in and pray you never have to engage in any conversation with any of their staff that hang around the telephone.
Call the number for Eastin Penang,ask to connect to the coffeehouse and this is what you will probably hear.

Borhochiak : Hello? Is this the coffeehouse?

Dunggu : Yesh.Can I helpch eeuww?

Borhochiak : Ummm,I would like to enquire about the prices
 for your buffet lunch

Dunggu : Aaarrr wait arrrr? I check ferst.....(5 seconds pass)
Aaahh,eeeet ich (sumthing sumthing)plast plast.So eeuuw wann maek recherwaition?I can helpch euww maek.How manneee op euuww?

Borhochiak : Wait,wait,I am just making an enquiry first.Checking how much your prices are and what activities you have

Dunggu : Ooooowww,ahahahahaahahaa okeee okee

Borhochiak : Ummmm,so owww rite,the price you told me just now were for the adults right?

Dunggu : Yech,yech

Borhochiak : So if got children how much aaah?

Dunggu : Itch shame

Borhochiak : Weiiiiiiiii....you mean to tell me the adult and children price is the same meh?

Dunggu : Yech Yech.Shame,shame.

Borhochiak : Cannot be.How much you charge for kids?

Dunggu :(Silence)

Borhochiak : Berapa harga untuk budak?

Dunggu : Ooooo Sar mer

Borhochiak : HAH? Boo-dak wor? Kids? Ka Nak Ka Nak?Tak kan same harge nyer

Dunggu : Auuwww,aaarrhh ,eeet eesshh(she quotes approximately lesser) plast plast.So eeuuww wann makee recherwaitionnn?

Borhochiak : Not yet,belum lagi.I want to find out if you have any activities for this celebration/season?Ada apa-apa aktiviti kat you punye cough fee haus tak?

Dunggu : Aarrrr,got got

Borhochiak : Got what activities?

Dunggu : Got lah

Borhochiak : Seperti?

Dunggu : Aaaa...hehehehe....aaarrr...ada lah.Banyak juger lah.ahaha.Euuww datang lorrr nanteee.

Borhochiak : Kalau senior seeteezern leh?Orang tua ader deeskaun tak?

Dunggu : Oooowww takderr

Borhochiak : (going to explode cos I don wan argeuww wit her) Alright,what is your spread?Ummm apa yang euww akan hidangkan nanteeee?

Dunggu : Aaarrr banyakkkkk

Borhochiak : Aper dier?

Dunggu : Arrrhhmmm,eenterrnarseeyornal laahh

Borhochiak : Like? Seperti? Ayam? Kambing? Salad? Sushi?

Dunggu : Emmmm...ahahaha.....eenterrnarrseeyornal laaar.Ader larrr..eenterrnarseeyornal

Borhochiak : (hung up)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

"My Balik Pulau"Controversy

First of all,I would like to start by saying that this is another non food post that actually warrants some two cents of my thoughts,since it caused 'certain' NGO's to BBQ the book while I was about to have some mum-mum.Appetite lost but whetted out of curiosity I found that I actually have a copy of a tourist trail printed by Arts Ed not the actual 12 page risalah itself.
I tried hard to find fault with the tourist trail brochure and reasoned that maybe it was due to overemphasis on The Others other than Their People.
Frustrated I headed to the net for some answers.There were some pretty nasty and inflammatory things said by The Certain People of A Certain Group that got Their Certain Netizens pretty worked up.
Not many netizens knew much about the publication too except for the fact that Some Certain People were painted as Hardworking and Some Other People were said to be Just Plain Lazing around.I am pretty sure I saw one village woman With Mixed Peoples Blood wheelchair bound but of course if you want to take that as an insult to The People group I belong to,I could,but most times My People don't resort to that do we?With The Exception of The DeeAyePee,The ParkCarTan,The Last EmSeeAye boss and Some Pretty Racist My Young People (the product of respective mother tongue schools)in our various YouNeedWorseCities

Then I stumbled upon the latest press statement by The Farid and thought it was pretty reasonable....FAR from the Debil Curry The Guan painted him out to be.

So what were the things that They were so angry about?
1. That Their People were not depicted as The Ones who opened up Balik Pulau.That a certain Lebai Tampak,Their Man,was not given any due recognition.
2. That Their People were wrongly depicted as descendants of political refugees from Thailand,the northern malay states as well as Indonesia
3. That Their People were reliant on The Moneylenders of Another People to finance Their Kids Huge Weddings.This they consider to be a huge insult directed upon their ancestors.

Next we go on to The Quarrel between The Farid and The Guan.Verdict?They both need some chill out time at the mamak stall.
From The Guan saying that The Farid had spit to the sky and The Spittum landed on The Farid face(meaning he made himself look like a fool) and the sponsor of the guilty mag is The Um No itself to The Farid retorting that The Guan also spit to the sky and The Guan also got The No Face cos now The Island has been under The Them Themselves.
Stupid.Both The Men are just plain stupid.

Now finally we come to The YouAskEm.All the heads of This Place are just out for The Funding so they have to come up with The Idea that can bring The Big Bucks so they can reap The Rewards and The Recognition,The Glory and maybe make The History too.
How?By Exploiting The Children Of The Island into performing for The Free.
Why?Cos every adult would find Them The Professors And The Lecturers At The YouAskEm boring.
So Some Clever Ones made use of cute enthusiastic,innocent children and is now saying that The Children were The Ones that got the first hand accounts from The Elders of Balik Pulau.That this is not historical.Gasp! Did The YouAskEm just wash Their Hands Off?Wow...Shift The Blame to The Children?That is So Adult.Thanks for teaching The Kids,You Big Bunch Of Apron Clutching Cowards.
I believe the whole Original Noble Intention about Arts Ed was to inculcate some sort of love towards our different cultures and heritage but In The End it turns out that The Printed Materials were distributed without prior Ministry of Education approval.Why the oversight?Why the hurry to distribute to schools?It's not as if those associated with the YouNeedWorseCities no nothing about rules and why they are put there in the first place.If They had submitted it to The Ministry instead of assuming that I'm A Respected Educationist therefore all will go well,They The Learned could have pointed their fingers at other adults.
Nah.I doubt that.
In any case The Little Ones still make the best Fall Guys.
Now,They, The Burners just have a good reason to go amok on the streets of georgetown not caring if They scare The Shit out of The Kids that submitted The Oral Histories forgetting that The Kids consist of The Many People That Make Up This Country.

Finally what is The Result as dictated by The NGOs that like to use The Fire?
All Our People(when I say this I mean all the races of malaysia please ah for valhallas* sake)should stay under Our Respective Coconut Shells and let history be hushed up or go to rot.Or BBQ books.

Moral of The Story?
Don't simply publish when you haven't researched enough.Don't think of $$$$ and GLORY only.
Do think of Others or you might inspire The Recipe for The Next Book Campfire which justifies the reason for The Next Quarrel,Those Two Publicity Mad TV Spotlight Crazy YBs Lust After.
Don't shift the blame to The Kids.
Stop making use of The Kids as The Free Labour for you,you lazy bunch of adults no other adult will open up nor tell their life story to!

Peace Out.....

*valhalla-means viking heaven to stay impartial


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Press Statement by The Farid himself
Saya ingin mengambil kesempatan ini untuk mengucapkan Selamat Menyambut Tahun Baru Cina kepada semua rakan wartawan dan seluruh rakyat Pulau Pinang yang berbangsa Tionghua yang merayakan sambutan penuh bermakna ini.
Saya nak jelaskan disini, bahawa saya membesar dan bersekolah di Balik Pulau. Guru-guru saya, majoriti nya adalah guru-guru China dan saya amat menghargai jasa mereka. Rakan-rakan persekolahan saya adalah dari kaum Cina dan India.
Saya amat memahami hati budi kaum lain. Malahan, dua orang anak saya juga bersekolah disekolah Jenis Kebangsaan Cina. Masyarakat Balik Pulau adalah masyarakat saya dan InsyaAllah, saya juga akan bersara di Balik Pulau ini.
Saya lebih mengetahui Balik Pulau lebih dari Lim Guan Eng dari Melaka. Maka, adalah jauh sekali untuk saya memainkan isu perkauman di Balik Pulau dan di mana-mana saja dan jauh sekali melahirkan rasa benci sesama kami di Balik Pulau telah telah hidup dalam keadaan aman dan bahagia serta harmoni di Balik Pulau.
ISU-ISU
1. Risalah myBalik Pulau adalah sebuah risalah yang di terbitkan oleh arts-ED, sebuah Persatuan Pendidikan Seni Pulau Pinang. Ianya ditaja oleh Penang Education Council (PEC) dan Pejabat Kementerian Pelancungan Malaysia Pulau Pinang dan di bantu oleh beberapa individu dan organisasi lain.
2. Ianya diterbitkan pada tahun 2010 (seperti tercetak dimuka depan risalah), saya kira dipenghujung 2010, dan diedarkan kepada masyarakat di Balik Pulau sekitar bulan Januari 2011. Edaran tersebut dibuat dibeberapa tempat, antaranya Pusat Internet Desa, tempat orang ramai dan termasuklah disekolah-sekolah.
3. Saya telah mendapat aduan serta pertanyaan daripada ibubapa kepada pelajar sekolah tentang kebenaran fakta yang dinyatakan dalam risalah tersebut. Setelah membacanya, saya mendapati beberapa fakta sejarah adalah tidak tepat.
4. Saya telah menghubungi pihak Pejabat Pelajaran Daerah (PPD) dan dimaklumkan bahawa pihak PPD tidak pernah memberi sebarang kebenaran pengedaran risalah tersebut dikalangan para pelajar; dan Guru-Guru besar memaklumkan bahawa risalah tersebut telah ditinggalkan disekolah tanpa ada sepucuk surat makluman ataupun pertemuan dengan pihak sekolah.
5. Setelah membaca dan meneliti risalah berkenaan. Saya mendapati bahawa fakta sejarah sebenar pembukaan kawasan Balik Pulau oleh Lebai Tampak dan rombongannya tidak langsung disebut dalam risalah tersebut.
Nama Lebai Tampak yang membuka Balik Pulau adalah berdasarkan kepada kajian sejarah awal Pulau Pinang oleh Dr. Mahani, seorang pakar sejarah di USM. Yang dinyatakan didalam risalah myBalik Pulau, adalah bahawa Balik Pulau dibuka oleh ?pelarian? politik dari Thailand, Negeri-Negeri Melayu dibahagian Utara dan Indonesia.
Sebagai seorang terpelajar dan pensyarah di USM, Janet Pillai selaku ketua projek ini, sepatutnya dengan mudah boleh merujuk kepada rakan-rakan sejarahwan yang berada di USM, seperti Dr. Mahani dan Prof Mohamad Salleh.
Apakah negeri-negeri dibahagian utara? Kedah? Perlis?. Bukankah Pulau Pinang dulu adalah sebahagian daripada Kedah. Perlukah mereka menjadi pelarian dinegeri sendiri? Beberapa orang Melayu marah apabila disebut sebagai ?pelarian? kerana seolah-oleh mereka adalah keturunan pelarian.
6. Didalam penulisan juga disebut bahawa ?kaum melayu juga menggadaikan tanah mereka untuk mendapatkan wang tunai untuk membiayai upacara besar-besaran seperti majlis perkahwinan?. Selain tulisan, ianya juga digambarkan dalam bentuk gambar.
Dalam gambar disebut ? saya (orang Melayu) perlukan duit untuk kenduri kahwin anak saya?. Jadi, orang Melayu digambarkan sebagai kaum yang meminjam duit dari Chettiar dan bergolok gadai hanya untuk kenduri perkahwinan. Orang Melayu menganggap ayat tersebut juga merupakan satu penghinaan kepada nenek moyang mereka.
Perkara-perkara inilah yang mahu dan telah saya tegur. Penerbit harus sedar bahawa risalah tersebut adalah risalah bercetak dan diedarkan kepada orang ramai. Ianya dibaca oleh anak-anak sekolah. Apa sahaja yang dihidang kepada para pelajar akan kekal bersama mereka.
Apakah dengan menegur perkara sebegini dan membetulkan fakta sejarah menyebabkan saya rasis sepertimana yang dituduh oleh Lim Guan Eng?. Dan saya diminta untuk meminta maaf kepada Kerajaan Negeri? Saya tidak akan minta maaf.
Saya ingin merujuk kepada Kenyataan Akhbar Lim Guan Eng, secara khusus merujuk kepada akhbar Sinar :
1. Para kedua Akhbar Sinar ?Guan Eng berkata, risalah yang dicetak dalam tiga bahasa itu tidak dikeluarkan atau ditaja oleh kerajaan Negeri seperti dakwaan Farid sebaliknya dipercayai dikeluarkan oleh Kerajaan Negeri terdahulu.?
Muka belakang di cetak dengan jelas
1. Penerbit = arts-ed (Persatuan Pendidikan Seni)2. Tajaan = Penang Education Council (PEC) dan Berlogo Kerajaan Negeri3. Pejabat Kementerian Pelancungan Malaysia Pulau Pinang dan berlogo Kerajaan Persekutuan4. DIGI
Perkataan ?TAJAAN? menunjukkan bahawa naskah my Balik Pulau dibiayai oleh sebuah Majlis dibawah Kerajaan Negeri dan juga sebuah agensi dibawah Kementerian Pelancungan. Itu jelas. Saya sedar tentang keterlibatan kedua-dua agensi ini sejak dari awal lagi. (dan ianya juga turut disebutkan dalam tulisan akhbar Utusan).
Daripada YAB KM melenting, lebih baik beliau menyiasat, kenapa logo Kerajaan Negeri digunakan tanpa kebenaran beliau. Bahkan dalam beberapa sidang dewan yang lepas, kita pernah membangkit isu tentang pengunaan logo kerajaan negeri yang harus mendapat kebenaran Kerajaan Negeri.
Tetapi untuk menuduh bahawa naskah tersebut dikeluarkan oleh Kerajaan Negeri terdahulu adalah sesuatu yang sangat mengecewakan. Risalah itu dicetak pada tahun 2010, itu jelas dicetak diatas naskah itu. Semua orang boleh jawap pada tahun sudah (2010) siapa yang perintah Pulau Pinang!
Yang pasti bukan Barisan Nasional! Sebagai bukti tambahan, Pejabat Kemeterian Pelancungan Malaysia Pulau Pinang juga ditubuhkan pada pertengahan tahun 2010. Jadi ianya bukan dikeluarkan oleh kerajaan BN terdahulu.
2. Para 9 : ?Guan Eng berkata Kerajaan Negeri selama ini banyak bersabar dengan sikap rasis yang diamalkan oleh Farid, namun tindakannya kali ini sudah melampau kerana kerajaan negeri tiada kena mengena dengan risalah itu.?
Saya cukup tidak suka dengan perkataan ?rasis?. Sebab itu saya tidak mengunakan perkataan ?rasis? kepada sesiapa. YAB KM pula suka sangat menuduh orang ?rasis?.
Dalam para 5 juga disebut bahawa ?.?ADUN UMNO in sengaja mahu membangkitkan sentiment perkauman dan perasaan benci antara kaum, terutamanya di Balik Pulau?. Amat mudah bagi beliau untuk menuduh saya sebagai ?rasis?.
Saya telah menonton rakaman PC yang dibuat oleh KM Lim Guan Eng. Dia bermula dengan terus menuduh saya rasis, dan berulang kali mengatakan saya rasis. Adakah dia merujuk kepada risalah myBalik Pulau dan meneliti penulisan yang dibuat. Langsung tidak.
Saya nak tegaskan bahawa saya amat menghargai toleransi dan semangat muhibah sesama rakyat Malaysia dari dahulu hingga sekarang. Pembangunan dan kejayaan yang telah kita capai dan nikmati hari ini adalah hasil dari kerjasama semua rakyat Malaysia.
3. Lim Guan Eng mengatakan ?.. ?kerana kerajaan negeri tiada kena mengena dengan risalah itu.?
Mungkin benar mungkin tidak! , kerajaan negeri tiada kena mengena dengan risalah itu. Sdra/I wartawan boleh fikir sendiri.
Siapakah itu arts-ED? Art-ED adalah sebuah NGO yang diketuai oleh Janet Pillai. Janet Pillai adalah seorang pensyarah di Pusat Pengajian Seni, USM.
Walaubagaimanapun sebagai NGO, arts-ED adalah sebuah agensi yang mempunyai kaitan langsung dengan SERI. Dalam laman sesawang (web-site) arts-ED, dijelaskan bahawa organisasinya adalah ? we are led by executive committee under the secretariat of Sosio-Economic & Environmental Research (SERI) Penang?.
Apakah pula kaitannnya dengan kerajaan negeri? Daripada laman sesawang SERI ? Think Tank For the State of Penang, Team Member (updated 4 February 2010) Board of Directors antaranya adalah YB DCM II Prof. Dr. Ramasamy a/l Palanisamy, YB Liew Chin Tong dan lain-lain.
Akhir sekali, saya tetap dengan padangan saya, hasil dari bacaan saya, bahawa Balik Pulau adalah dibuka oleh Lebai Tampak dan rombongannya, melainkan saya dibuktikan oleh para sejarahwan sebaliknya dan bukannya seperti yang dituliskan dalam risalah berkaitan.
Saya juga berpandangan bahawa ada ayat-ayat yang digunakan dalam risalah myBalik Pulau boleh dianggap menghina orang Melayu diBalik Pulau. Tidak sesekali saya berniat untuk menimbul rasa benci, melainkan membetulkan pernyataan/makluman yang tidak tepat.
SEMOGA PENJELASAN DIATAS DAPAT MEMBERIKAN GAMBARAN SEBENAR KEPADA ISU BERKAITAN.
YBF : 6 Jan, 2011.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

The Ng Wei Aik Tantrum @ Penang

So he lost face when a video showed his brute methods.He had to apologise and now he wants us all to eat indoors cos he wants us to emulate him the good little boy who goes home every night to eat his mamas quaker oats.
I want to ask him to go fly kite and stick a pacifier in his mouth.Send him out of Penang island with some nappies and his smelly blanket for bawling like a baby and inconveniencing us diners.
As we all know the Rapid bus drivers on Chulia Street treat the road as a racing track.Many a times I have seen pedestrians almost knocked down,and cars swerving to avoid a head on collision with these road bullies.Herding everyone indoors won't solve the problem.
There are more than 3 roads if they really want to find fault.In fact they should strip the entire Batu Ferringhi night market and al fresco dining street too since the traders force pedestrians to endanger their lives by walking onto the roads.Let's see...there's also the back of Gurney Plaza to consider,Tanjong Tokong,Fettes Park,Kimberley Street,Pulau Tikus,and so much more.
Read the brainless brainchilds idea of how he wants to reform Penang into a great plastic Singapore style farce of a gluttons paradise.
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Eating And Living On The Edge (Zalinah Noordin)

The Penang Municipal Council (MPPP)will take to court stubborn operators of restaurant and eateries who still place tables and chairs outside their premises in Georgetown for alfresco dining.
MPPP councillor Ong Ah Teong said the council would resort to court action if operators persisted in providing open air dining despite the RM250 compound.
He said the errant operators would be hauled to court under the Road Safety and Public Order Act.
The council had identified such eateries which cause traffic obstruction and possibly accidents on Chulia Street,Batu Maung and Sungai Pinang.
They will normally place their tables and chairs by the roadside on weekends and on public holidays from about 5pm onwards to midnight,he said in an interview.
He said the MPPP had identified three cafes on Chulia Street which had continued to place tables and chairs outside despite repeated reminders from the MPPP for them not to do so.
We've been issuing compounds under the Hygiene and Public Safety Act which carries a RM250 fine,he said.
If they still persist,we will take the operators to court and also seize their tables and chairs and other items that cause obstruction,he said.
He said that the compounds should be issued under Section 46 of the Drainage and Building Act 1974 which carries a RM50 fine but the amount was not taken seriously by most operators.

Malaysian Embassy @ Egypt

Nothing to do with food,just leaves a bad aftertaste knowing that in times of trouble our Embassy cannot be relied on for help.Would like to share this letter written to The Star newspaper with you.
If you were unfortunate enough to have been trapped here and had contacted our embassy for help,
you would have been told to report back to them!....the situation on the ground,
cos they had either fled enmass and left an egyptian staff behind that spoke no BM!or were too engrossed in devouring yet another belly dance like a bunch of perverts!
There were an estimated 11k to 14k Malaysians stuck in Egypt on Jan 28th when the trouble broke out.We were told to stay calm and an evacuation was not necessary.That has proven to be otherwise.Our government issues no travel advisory for so called fear of offending other countries.
Hello?The 'certain political party' samseng style Youth Wing does more damage than any Malaysian ever will.
They (travel writers and reviewers are equally guilty of painting a rosier than thou picture too)never tell us Malaysian travellers to be on high alert against teen criminals in Amsterdam,"you are not welcome you bloody asian" racism in New Zealand,measures to take to keep safe from gypsy child pickpockets and no after dark wandering about in London,how to avoid drunk teenagers in Moscow,child snatchings and toiletless doors in China nor how to address culture shock of hygiene issues in India.
Reason why we keep embassies is mainly to partake of pompous colonial style cocktail gatherings and maybe some major pocket lining bank negara busting contracts along the way(spun doctored as good relationship).
The state governments are clueless as to the whereabouts of state sponsored students,the government is clueless as to how to handle their rather callous attitude towards the situation.
Very quick to issue warnings to us Malaysians not to stage an uprising,thank goodness for our good ties with the Arabs...bla,bla,bla.Oh pulezz.
Pakatan please don't get your hopes up either,if you were in charge,you would probably be MORE than clueless.I can't imagine one of the Lim's or those two goateed leaders at the airport.Sheesh.No one else would matter except them.
Let's hope everyone gets out unharmed.That they get enough to sustain themselves in this moment of chaos and nothing untoward happens to any of them.
Read on.
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"Malaysians Left High And Dry"

WE HAD gone to Egypt for our family holiday to show our children one of the ancient wonders of the world with its rich and famous history.
Little did we expect to be part of another history that is taking part in Cairo right now.
It was most unfortunate that our holiday ended abruptly but we didn’t expect it to end with such a bad taste in our mouths – caused by our own people.
The riots started in full on Friday, Jan 28 after the afternoon prayers and we were informed by both our tour guide as well as the hotel authorities, to stay in and not go out.
All mobile phone lines and Internet services were cut by the Egyptian Government and our only contact with the outside world was watching CNN and Aljazeera.
The next morning at breakfast, the other guests of the hotel were instructed by their respective embassies on what to do.
We then tried to contact our embassy, especially when we heard all Egyptian Airlines tickets were cancelled.
‘TRIED’ is the operative word here. We finally got through in the evening (it was 1600hrs by which time the curfew was in force) - needless to say, we did not get any helpful advise or even simple information.
Instead, we were told to inform the embassy on the situation at the airport when we got there!
They didn’t ask our names, our hotel, whether we had any children with us or even if there were other Malaysians in the same hotel.
By this time, the United States, India and Turkey had already announced on TV that they were sending their own aircraft to help their respective citizens.
The next day, as soon as the curfew was lifted, our tour guide took us to the airport and helped us there among all the chaos.
We found out all Egyptian Airlines flights were indeed cancelled.
Meanwhile, since the mobile services were back, our travel agent (from Malaysia) texted us that our flights were confirmed from Dubai to Kuala Lumpur but to contact the Malaysian Embassy for help to get to Dubai.
She also gave us another number at the embassy, specially set up for this situation – needless to say, the person who was manning the phones was of NO help – he could hardly speak recognisable English and could speak NO Bahasa Malaysia at all!
My husband got fed up and just went to the Emirates counter and bought our tickets to Dubai.
There were so many Malaysian students at the airport and as a mother, my heart went out to them – especially the girls, as the Cairo airport was truly scary, no place to sit, no food and a security nightmare – so many bags just left lying around.
While waiting to check-in, we were approached by the various embassy personnel that were there – the US, British, Indian and even New Zealand – whether we were their citizens and whether we needed help.
I had no answer when my children asked me where were the Malaysian Embassy personnel.
Today I read in the papers that all Malaysian students are back safely – after 10 days? Hurrah!
But what about Malaysian tourists? What happened to the Malaysian Embassy personnel?
I would like answers on the service, or lack thereof, by the Malaysian Embassy to help us in our hour of need, as Malaysians.
PREMAH MUNUSAMY-PHILIP,
Malacca.

Tamarind Brasserie @ Parkroyal Penang

First they tempt you via advertisement slots in various newspapers bearing picturesque photo compositions baited with discounts.Sometimes they send out leaflets cum vouchers to various shopping complexes for customers to pick up and ponder.Also they do team up with various cards one might hold.
Next they seem to have made quite a good impression on reviewers and hence are featured every now and then with most giving them the thumbs up.

I dined here once last millenium when they had the longest buffet line gimmick coinciding with their privilege membership drive.The walk was fun going from one cooking station to the next.Kids really had a ball here since they could take a dip in the pool watched with amusement and pride as their respective parents dined contentedly.But the food as far as I remembered was really really really ordinary.

With CNY holidays coming to an end and the last of our entire clan finally here after a flight misadventure,my dear mama took out a newspaper clipping and said since we could get great savings and all of her grandkids could have some fun fun fun at the Kokonut Club,she wanted to come here.

So here I go again pouring my woes out to you the reader.
When we stepped up to the entrance I immediately got a huge headache.

What?Looking up at the ceiling you will notice fan after fan after fan swirling as if everyone's life depended on it.
"Open air-no air cond-ala hardrock lobby-dining concept-even golden sands copied-to save cost again???"
Sheesh.What a bummer.Be prepared to sweat till it stains your armpit jacket.

However as we trooped in,we were pleasantly surprised by the buffet setting.The lighting was nice,spacing was pretty good,food shimmered and beckoned to all.We settled in happily before going for the attack.
Wow.For that price the choices were indeed gargantuan.There were mussels,prawns,eel,octopus,chilli crabs,fish,crepes,soups,tartlets,a chocolate fountain,pastas,pies,nuggets,fries,ice cream,a carving station,chicken,yee sang,sushi,salads,crumbles,breads,the list goes on.Everything just looked oh so delectable.Impressive!

Floated to heaven only to crash down to earth because it was just cosmetic.
Let me start with the leg of lamb roast.It was baaaaa-land plus no care had been taken to ensure that it be kept warm thus coaxing that icky crumbly fat to come out and leave a film of grease on your lips.
The charcoal grilled skewered chicken wings had a hot sauce marination that could not hide the blackened bones underneath.
CKT (yea they even had CKT)came in a huge KL style chewy texture in a portion enough to feed a family huddled in a room on seventh street for 2 days.Bleagh!
Thank goodness no one ventured towards the koay kak counter that featured crabsticks as an attraction.Why would they,considering the hot plate was never smoking and the dish though fried in the open wafted no smell as one passed by.
Morever the chilli crabs did not absorb the sauces they were cooked in which tells me that perhaps they have been defrosted and then popped into the freezer again thus draining the crustacean of any flavour so expected of our local species.
The sushi counter was a huge mess.It was wet and sloppily piled as if some fisherman had just ditched his catch in his hurry to use the bathroom upon landing.Raw fish displayed this way is a sure fire way to cultivating various bacteria from your gut to your brains.
The mussels and prawns are kept cold on a bed of ice so that you are so turned off that you tend to take and eat less thus saving them more.Italian meatballs might as well have been renamed tasteless meat lookalike flour balls.
Stay away from the dessert counter cos it looks better than it's bite.The tiny temptations have been made ala maxim bakery-pasar malam cake style meaning heavy use of margarine involved.The chocolate tastes like cheap,really cheap chocolate.Like Ding Dang breadman chocolate.Of course that turned me off dipping any fruit or candy in the chocolate fountain too.Big ugh.
I like beans but not half cooked and so old that when you chomp you fill your cavities with floss like fibres.Some chef needs to seek a reeducation in marketing tips.
The ice cream buffet is Baskins Robbins.Me anti Baskin Robbins.It gives me goosebumps.I hate the taste,and am the last person on earth who will wait every 2 months to throng the outlet for a discount on the 31st.In fact I won't even eat it even if it were free.

At the so called Kids Corner bearing a picture of Sponge Bob that maniacal sea creature,is a very kid unsafe feature called a coffee machine that will leave even the adults puzzled.Do watch your kids here.Take note that the coffee selection flicks to and fro like a jackpot.Alternating like a Tanjong Rambutan test patients have to decide between "Strong aroma" and "Decaf".There is no stop button and no instructions.Only pictures to test your IQ and EQ.
This is where you will find Mr Universe type men panicking when the two outlets never stop flowing.Those that triumphantly get their selection right will cry for their mothers to come to their rescue and stop the wastage.

As if that was not enough,and since we are on the subject of kids,they sent in a clown to entertain the kids.At first we were relieved that this fella is there to distract them from turning their finger foods into a food fight.Then we find out that he blows balloons only to sculpt them into swords.Fine.Except he's not really good at other shapes except for swords.Any request for a poodle will turn up a half mutt that looks like bubbling fart.Still fine.After that,the boys AND girls will start testing out their swords.
This is when you need to have an ambulance ready outside in case of heart attacks or choking diners.The little angels will start chasing each other around like barbarians on the loose until "BBBAAAAAANNNNNGGGG!!!" no it wasn't a bomb,it wasn't a firecracker but the great inflatable sword that just burst.This repeats itself countlessly as long as the clown is there to serve the brats.One day I tell you some adult will slam that miserable blue haired smurf into the ice cream bin.

So what did I end up liking on this pathetic sojourn?
Their Chicken pie,mushroom soup,alfalfa sprouts(which you can purchase from Jusco),japanese style sweet octopus(which is standard Japanese restaurant fare),green olives and black olives(which you can buy from tesco).
Ended the meal looking like I had walked in Gurney Drive at 12noon which led me to refresh myself in the washroom.
Returned to our table smelling like a strange mix between St Gregory's spa massage oil and Dettol because while they installed an aromatherapy burner on the sink counter,they also mopped the floor with a strong dose of disinfectant.