Porridge Stall (opposite Geylang porridge) @ Island Hawker centre (night)

When it arrives at your table,you'd least expect something that looks so yummy and picture perfect to be so awful tasting.
It is neither healthy teochew,nor hearty hokkein,nor tasty cantonese.This is a mutant cross between the crab porridge style from mainland and hongkong porridge.
The recipe involves a little sugar and fried garlic,some rubber chicken and salted egg that tastes as if the duck never washed her backside forever and ever.
If you try to salvage it by pouring in some soya sauce,you will set of some chemical reaction like what happens when saltwater meets swampwater.
Once it goes into your mouth and travels down your intestines you will agree that this dish belongs to IndahWater

Thai Station @ Prangin Mall

Years ago,the food here was good and the outlet was jam packed with customers.Apart from the novelty of the seating arrangement,even the drinks and desserts were admittedly quite good.
Two or three years later,the place changed hands and there went the good food,nice presentation,reasonable price and friendly,fast,efficient service altogether.
Food was horrid,service sucked,no one smiled,drinks and desserts were super yucks.Soon enough their regular customers dwindled down to zero but the outlet still soldiered on.On any given day the outlet was sure to be empty*.
All of a sudden now due to a new write up in an influential newspaper,I expect this formerly empty makan place to be packed with curious customers wanting to give it a try.
Unless you enjoy Haadyai food,which is where the chef is touted to be from,don't be a sucker-tomer.Hop on the plane and take that flight out to Bangkok.

*One of the reasons why the outlet never really recovered was that Prangin has since become reknowned as the place to go to for southern thai tomyam soup,noodles and even steamboat.Somehow the dish(much like assam laksa) smells so excrutiatingly mouthwatering within an enclosed airconditioned space,though more often than not the taste falls short of the initial smell.The tomyam here is of the extremely oily,sweet and burning hot variety with fans that range from young students to entire families.

Dendritic Salt @ Penang grocers & wet markets

Penangites please take note.
If you find this salt being sold at your local grocers,do yourself a favour and make sure you google the meaning.
I had run out of salt and sent someone out on an errand.She came back with this,assuming that this was the brand name of the salt.I actually looked at the darned name and proceeded to empty its contents into the salt container.Subsequently two tablespoons ended up in the soup pot.It dissolved instantly and was really delicious but later that night the whole family ended up in a sleepy stupor and woke up the next morning with bodily aches.
Only 2 days later did I google it up.Apparently it is an extract of salt or salt flakes meant for the purpose of aromatheraphy or bath salts.
You can guess what I did next.
I threw the entire bottle out.
Since when did the bloody wholesalers decide to sell bathsalts as a substitute for kitchen salt?I really don't know what to say.Suppose they thought nothing of the name,but if they are fully aware of what it is then they are truly unscrupulous.
Considering the slightly cheaper price,plus the fact that it dissolves instantly in cold water, don't you just wonder how widespread the use of this salt is amongst hawkers and such?

Mutton or Beef ?

Eons ago,someone decided to read the label of contents found on frozen burgers sold in the supermarkets.The person almost keeled over when she/he discovered that the Chicken burger contained Beef.Religious or self imposed restrictions prevent a sizeable section of Malaysians from consuming beef.After the dust settled down,most learnt to read the labels carefully.
And now fast forward this problem has just presented itself.
Question is for how long exactly have they been deceiving us?
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Be wary when buying mutton

THE next time you plan to buy mutton, just be more careful.In view of the rising cost of imported mutton, some unscrupulous butchers are mixing imported Indian buffalo meat in the same package.
Currently, imported mutton retails around RM20 per kilogram.
To keep themselves afloat, butchers are mixing imported Indian buffalo meat with imported mutton from Australia and New Zealand and selling them at RM16 per kilogram to unsuspecting customers.
“You cannot get imported mutton at RM16 per kilo anymore. That was last year. Now our landed price is already around RM17 per kg, so how can most butchers sell at the old price,” said Malay Small Traders Association Jalan Ipoh Branch chairman of the Indian affairs Chandra Bose.

Chandra: ‘You cannot get imported mutton at RM16 per kilo anymore.’

There are some 4,200 butchers in Kuala Lumpur.
Chandra, who has been operating for over 30 years at the Sentul Pasar Wet Market said he had a hard time convincing his customers that the import price of mutton had gone up and that they would not get them at the old price anymore.
“However, many go to other butchers who still sell at the old price by mixing with buffalo meat just to keep their customers,” said Chandra, adding that many restaurants knowingly buy mutton mixed with buffalo meat, which is retailed around RM10 a kilogram.
Another butcher Sheik Allaudin Abd Rahman who also operates in Sentul Pasar said the Domestic Trade, Co-operatives and Consu-merism Ministry enforcement officers have been alerted on this but no actionhas been taken.
“They told us to keep our prices down without knowing anything about market forces which determine import prices. But we still continue with the new price at the risk of being fined,” he said.

Sheik Allaudin: This kind of despicable practice won’t happen even in India.

A social welfare worker with the Young Men’s Christian Association S. Lokan said he was aware that restaurants were knowingly buying mutton mixed with beef or buffalo and it was hard for undiscerning customers to know the difference.
“I have stopped eating mutton ever since the price shot up because I know that’s what restaurants are doing. I know this is happening because some restaurant owners themselves have told me,” said the realty negotiator.
According to importers, the price of mutton has been going up due to demand as well as the weakening ringgit.
Mutton is not a controlled item but during festive seasons the ministry determines the price.
According to ministry officials, under the Price Control Act 1946, the Festive Seasons Price Control Scheme (SKHMP) was launched in 2000 and enforced during the festive seasons.
Violators can be fined up to RM15,000 (individuals) and RM25,000 (corporations) if found guilty.
Hindus consider cows and buffalos sacred animals and consuming beef or buffalo meat is considered sacrilege.

Lokan: ‘I have stopped eating mutton because I know many restaurants are mixing mutton with buffalo meat just to keep the prices down.’

Past president of Hindu Sangam Datuk A. Vathilingam, who is aware of the irresponsible acthas called on Hindus to be extra cautions when buying mutton.
“Some three years ago we reported to the ministry of some butchers selling mutton mixed with beef in Jalan Pasar in Pudu and several of them were hauled to court and fined.
However, he said fine alone was not a deterrent. “They need to be jailed for cheating customers. It is a clear case of cheating and people who do this must be severely punished,” he said.
The Agriculture and Agro-based Industries Ministry has called on butcher associations to weed out unethical members for the sake of livestock industry.
“If consumers stop eating mutton altogether for fear that it is being tainted then this will affect the sale of local mutton too,” said its deputy minister Chua Tee Yong.
He said the associations concerned should keep watch over their members and inform the authorities of malpractices in the industry.
“It is for their own good too because if there is no demand then their livelihood will suffer,” he said.
Chua also reminded consumers to be realistic of the rising prices of beef and mutton, as feed prices have gone up.
On the livestock industry, especially goat and cows, he said it was difficult to beef up the sector due to shortage of land and labour.
“The ministry is finding it hard to beef up the sector due to these two factors and if they overcome this problem then we are quite confident that local meat can be obtained at at lower prices,” he said.

Kafe Farlim Shell Station (Assam Laksa) @ Medan Angsana 4,Farlim

Don't waste your time coming here.
Don't be taken in by the huge crowd.
And don't listen to internet rumours that this is the real deal.
It is just hype.
Their customers are here for the slices of tender deboned kembung(a rarity in Penang nowadays) not to mention cheap price ($3).
Declining numbers of this used to be poor mans fish,coupled with the subsequent cravings of kembung lovers unwilling to hunt down this elusive and fast selling species in the wet markets,gave rise to those who vouch for this outlet to completely erase and forgive all the cons,just so they can sleep happy after having tucked in here.

Let's start with the soup.It tastes of gum piercing assam,immersed in unrefined belacan(leaning more towards about to ferment he ko) that reeks of kembung blood.Because of the frenzied pace coping with orders,the mint and cucumbers have been precut enmass,exposed to air way too long,thus have lost their crunchiness,zing and flavour,while the pineapple is the lightest coloured sucked the yellow out of its life species,so sour n hard.As for the onions,they are chewy.At this point I come to the realisation that they probably cut the veges and duly keep them in the refrigerator overnight.
And..and...what's this.....?
Sacre Bleu! There's 2 quarters of a deep fried fishball inside too!
When the demunitive foreign waitress brings you your order and you start opening your purse,she will give a quick once over at your purse's contents and immediately demand like she is THE TAUKAY chanting "bagi wang kecik,bagi wang kecik,bagi wang kecik" for small change.
Wei.so much business got no small change wan ah?

I dare say this the most awful assam laksa in the world.
Owing to the nature of the area being a concentration of cybercafes,karaokes etc,the coffeeshop that spills over to a passageway meant for vehicles,is filled with all kinds of characters.Thus you will inevitably be rubbing shoulders with some rough looking blokes,pai kias and charlottes,making the entire kopitiam resemble a gangsters den straight out of a page torn out from run down Kowloon eateries.
Even with their families in tow,the crowd looks like a chinese version of Dickens faggins community,dotted by the occasional office workers and church goers dressed in their Sundays best.
Honestly,even the most humblest of school canteens to the worst of 3 star hotels can come up with a better dish than this,though of course their version contains minimal fish or canned sardines which enthusiasts of this shop will turn their nose up to.
Maybe that's the problem.
See,when you go to the counter to place your order,you will be confronted by a open display container of unprocessed kembung fish(as proof to customers)chillin' in a pool of melted red ice.
The red comes from the fish blood.Since there is no drainage,the fish absorbs the smell of the blood.
Oh yucks.
Lastly if you cannot identify who to place your order from(whether the skinny local man or plump foreign lady),ask the foreign drink waiter and he will start waving his hand about wildly without actually pointing at the correct person,leaving your riddle unsolved.and you open to further embarassment.

Nasi Padang @ Transfer Road (What You Should Know)

It is Expensive compared to Nasi Kandar.
One small piece of beef rendang is $2.50.In Nasi Kandar outlets it's only $1.50.
Nowadays they sometimes remain open till 8pm(on the rare occasion till 10pm) cos they cannot finish selling due to less customers cos of pricing.
Be prepared to fork out $30 for 3 pax to eat...........
ONE medium sized fried onion topped ikan Cencaru sumbat sambal,2 fried chicken,2 beef rendang,1 brinjal,some ulam n 2 bergedil.
If you follow the prices stated on the menu and do a simple math it just doesn't add up.
Reason being after you self serve and scoop your own dishes,they will ask you to sit down and then simply overcharge cos only a quarter of the way into your meal,will they look at your plate and start making guesses.
No you won't find them turning over your plate to see if you have stashed anything.They will presume you did and charge you according to their whims and fancies.How come they dare to do this?I will reveal further down.
However most of their customers hardly argue over the price.
Beggars can't be choosers.
They simply hold back and swallow this overpriced crap.
Don't think the fat short lady isn't stuck up.The whole lot of them are.It's only when they have less customers for the day(lunchtime is the peak,by dinner which is around 5/6 they start panicking)where a ton of dishes still line the shelves that you will see this ugly side of them.The fattie will start a lecture on the economics of their business and who is gonna pay for them and do you think it is easy to make a profit/maintain her business/keep her staff/buy the ingredients/pay the suppliers and what are they gonna do if they don't sell all their dishes bla bla bla bla.Gimme a break.
What do they think we customers are by acting as if we should take their crap lying down and help them pay for their gamble of over anticipating customer turnout?
So in short they dare to simply overcharge because it is like saving for a rainy day where customer turnout is lower.
We their customers owe them that and don't you forget this.

It's popular cos only 2 or 3 stalls at the most are selling this on Penang island.
(everytime someone tried to set up a new Minang/Padang/Sumatran stall from Tg Tokong to Bukit Jambul it failed miserably don't know why)
unlike if you were to travel to Perak/KL/Selangor/N.Sembilan where there are countless Minang stalls of the same standard as this n much cheaper.

Taukay soh selling drinks is extremely rude.
always frowning and with no manners obssessed with keeping tabs on her various price signs and where did you put the spoons offensive so unlike her friendly and easy going son.
If you have the habit of taking out your spoon from your cup and leaving it on your table,this highly irritable person will push with her hands through your table to retrieve it cos she thinks everybody is a spoon thief or will curtly ask you(like she were accusing you) where you put the damned spoon.
She likes to chuck,fiddle or fling the price sign and won't leave you alone till the darned drinks are paid.
Then after you have paid you still won't be rid of her cos she is keeping a hawk eye on her ''PAID" sign seeing that everybody is a suspected sign thief too.
If you dare move it out of the way she will interrogate you like a child or again push through your table to plonk the darned sign where she can see it.
Her bloody walls are so bloody plastered with her bloody decorated children it makes me wonder why she treats her nice and considerate but undecorated son like a piece of shit while the decorated rest are MIA(his picture is not up there by the way)
*forgive my rudeness but she so bloody hell deserves this cos this little drama repeats itself each visit without fail.No one in their right mind would stop by her shop for a drink if not for the we-owe-them-a-living Nasi Padang stall.

Pizza Hut @ Prangin Mall

Everyone knows that when you decide against take away and dine in here instead,you are slapped with extra tax right?
And everybody also knows that the tax is meant for services rendered right?
Services meaning they will set the table for you,clear your table for you and bring your order to the table right?In short that is what table service is all about.
Nope.
The assistant manageress (the one in light brown shirt)here will only bring you your pizza.
YOU the customer have to clear the table for HER the princess almighty.
She will stand there with the pizza hovering above her shoulder like it were her queen's tiara on a silver platter,while posing like she's Tyra Banks and wait till you the imbecile get the message.
If you still don't get the message,(don't expect her to utter a word,she won't even waste her precious vocal chords to form a voice in order to instruct you mere mortals),and follow what we did which was to stare shell shocked at her for a full 5 seconds before scrambling to help HER do her job which we are paying the extra tax for,she will continue posing.As she strikes various poses she will look skywards,to the left and to the right.And after you finish clearing the table she will give you a dirty look,like you were an errant employee of the outlet.
Upon finishing our soup,again no one clears the table even though there were a minimum of 5 staff scurrying in and out of the kitchen and order counter.So what to do?We had to self remove our soup bowls,self pile them and self plonk them on the next empty table.Same thing for the garlic bread plate and our empty jug of drinks.
The entire time that we were there not one soul cleared that adjoining table.Why do people such as this even bother working in the service industry eh?
Having dined at their outlets in Gurney,Tesco,Air Itam and even Sunway Carnival,this has never happened before.Every single one of the servers clears the table for us.I have yet to come across a human being with this kind of hoity toity attitude other than the Air Asia,Gulf Air and Cathay Pacific stewardesses.
You can't miss her,she's quite pretty,wears a tudung,looks like Wardinah the actress a bit,walks kangkang like a cowboy and is in black tight slacks suspended by a punk studded belt.
Me thinks...she thinks she's a beauty queen who won the subsidiary title of Miss Roti Penyet Bertomato Prangin 2010 and the studded belt is her sash of misguided girl power....either that or she's training to be an Air Asia stewardess.

Aidil Adha in Penang

Anybody noticed that not many mamak,muslim,malay shops were open for business during this festival .If you wanted a bite you had to trawl high and low to locate one.
$#@%! No roti canai,no teh tarik,no kuih,no rojak,no nasi kandar,no pisang goreng,no cucur,no karipap,no mee goreng,no malay tomyam,no nasi campur .$#@%!
It was as if it were the main festival of Hari Raya itself.
We finally found one Kandar open in Jalan Dato Keramat.
It was as if our muslim brothers were forced into observing a day of abstinence from doing business in respect of the holy festival.
Is there some decree issued by the religious council?Are Penang food outlets influenced by a Pas led state of affairs sanctioned by Pakatan?No,I am not for BN either but at least they have the common sense not to frighten?food operators this way?
I know I am nobody to comment on this but this didn't happen last year.Why now?

Bah Kut Teh Stall @ Jln Dato Keramat ,Soon Joo/Soo Joon plastic shop(night)

The middle aged lady owner is a cheat.Be sure of how much cash you hand over to her when you ask her for the bill.We gave her a $100 note,and she dared to insist that we gave her a $50 even going so far as acting,to the extent of showing us the cash she had in her counter as 'proof' that she was not bluffing.Perhaps she is quick handed in switching or hiding the note elsewhere because it was nowhere to be seen in her counter.We weren't first time diners and between the two outlets she owned,we have been coming regularly for more than a year before this happened.
She didn't accept our protest and we are not voilent people.If she needs the $100 so badly we hope that she chokes on our burning note one day on her trip down to hell.
This is a MAJOR problem with certain stall owners within the vicinity of Jalan Dato Keramat.I have personally witnessed a poor lady begging the chicken rice seller opposite Ah Leng CKT (the coffeeshop that sells Tai Lok Mee at night)to return her change.Even when she yelled out that he cheated her he would not budge.The drama ended with him threatening her to leave or he would beat her up.Shameless bloody crook this one I tell you!The incident so disgusted me that I never went back there again even though I liked his chicken rice version.
Coming back to the Bah Kut Teh stall,she started off this outlet on the roadside.Her stall is popular because price wise hers is the most reasonable compared to 2 other shops around the corner.Her cunning ways enabled her to take over this shoplot this year(I am not quite sure of the name whether it is Soon Joo or Soo Joon)
She also owns another bah kut teh shop(the premises are in a kampung house facing the main road) in Paya Terubong opposite Kafe Pantai Timur.We used to patronise this Paya Terubong outlet because the price was even cheaper than her Dato Keramat outlet but the bad experience led us to boycott both.

Pushcart Char Koay Kak @ front of Union Primary School (night)

During the day,the road here is a real pain in the neck.Even with 3 lanes it is always choked with traffic weaving haphazardly trying to escape from the jam caused by the apom seller,school buses and parents, tau sar pia building customers or fickle drivers trying to manouvre into the many lanes left and right.Driving here is just many accidents or a ten car pile up waiting to happen.
At night,the honking continues due to drivers whom abruptly stop to have a bite or tapau from the old greenhouse coffeeshop and then later speed out to the lane of their fancy with nary a care in the world as if the entire road belonged to their grandfather.
A little down the road just before the pedestrian crossing is a couple hawking koay kak.Before Mc Donalds opened their drive in outlet at Greenlane,we were already accustomed to the culture.You make your order sit in the car,wait your turn and when the driver in front has taken his order,you drive forward into the next spot.
Now I am not saying that their koay kak is no good.You know the standard here,so no need to elaborate.
What gets me is that lately,this couple,having come home from their few week vacation (still cannot beat the Bah Chang van family across the road who went away for one month)has taken to peddling pineapple biscuits.
If you say no to the lady,she will turn super persuasive.First she will give you a sample.Then if you still resist she will insist that you gobble it at no charge.Then she will target the occupants in your car and give away soooo many samples that when you put it back together you feel pretty pai ser and proceed to make your first purchase.It may be good but I wouldn't say it is exactly cheap.
When you return one week later for your koay kak fix,you make a mental note to be firm with her and refuse all the samples.OMG,if you have seen the pussycat in Shrek,she will turn on her pitiful looking pleading eyes enough to make you part with some ca$h!
Let's just say you stone cold hearted inhumane being stand your ground,the occupants in your car will start grinning because what the heck they get free samples and you're the sucker who's got to pay for all that.The car windows will come down like the last frontier of surrender as she rushes towards your car to pass those buggers samples again.Sigh.$7 fly away times two boxes is....you do the math.
The last time I came back,I made sure I parked way up at 7-eleven.Then the warning.NO looking at me with pleading eyes or following me from the car for free samples or else!!!Walked up to the pushcart and made my way back armed with just koay kak.
Oh the stress of it all.

Swensens @ Penang

The food here is good but beware of falling for discounts schemes and memberships that they offer.
It is all a mere gimmick to make you spend like an idiot and look like a fool.
Please take note that the discounts are only limited to Penang island and no where else in Malaysia.

A couple related their woes to me.
Earlier this year,they were attracted to a discount scheme where this outlet would give you lifetime membership(the membership was not for sale) that would take a whopping 30 per cent off your bill if you spent $500 in accumulated receipts within a period of 3 months.
From what I understand many Penangites fell for it.
The outlet was filled to the brim by those eager to take advantage of this unbelievable deal.
By the time the 3 months were over,the deal remained as it was unbelievable for they had the gall to change the entire discount scheme at a drop of a hat.
In its place came another membership scheme that could be bought for under $20 ringgit leaving all those who had attained the lifetime membership unable to claim the 30 per cent discount.
When the couple kicked up a fuss,the very curt and unfriendly managress said it was the new company policy and that she was a merely following her company's orders.
You have been warned!

The Island Red Cafe Scam

I took this off kampunginvestor.com
Am putting this up as a reminder for everyone to be cautious not only off cheat bloggers that gave this place a spanking review but also to be wary of cheat investments schemes such as this too.
Here is the article in which the author relates how he tried to warn people but no one heeded his advice
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I told you so. I made a post on Island Red Cafe more like a ponzi to me five months ago to warn investors of not putting money into such Multi Level Marketing (MLM) plans. It is getting more rampant in Malaysia now a days where unscrupulous people try to make easy money from naive Malaysians.

Many Island Red Cafe supporters claimed that they have stopped receiving food vouchers and cash payouts from beginning of the year. One by one the outlet closes and it’s official now as the police has classified Island Red Cafe as a scam.
The benefits were promised to Island Red Cafe investors :-
•Fixed return RM300/slot each month (5% of the investment) for 1st and 2nd year. So, total that you will get is RM7200.
•Fixed return RM150/slot each month (2.5% of the investment) for 3rd, 4th & 5th. So, total that you get is RM 5400
•RM100/slot food voucher will be given every month & will be given for total 5 years which equivalent to RM6000.
•VIP member discount 15%
•Birthday discount 30%
Such business model of taking other people’s money to pay up the higher rank will never work. Same goes as the Maddoff scam where the exact same business model was used.
This kind of business will die off eventually when there is no more new members signing in to join the business. No new members means no money coming in. When there is no money coming in how to pay the previous members? Only way, close shop!
When the business owners closes shop, you can be rest assured he will do the disappearing act of now you see now you dont!
Who to blame?
Malaysia government
I am pretty sure there are many high rank people involved in approving such business. Just couldn’t understand how can such business model being approved by the Malaysian government. Our government should put a full stop in such schemes which cheats poor innocent Malaysians hard earned money.
Strict rules and regulations should be put upon so that business owners are serious in doing business and not ripped off the consumers.
Consumers itself
Why such business is growing like mushroom? Because consumers allow those business owners to rape them inside out. Consumers are just inviting those unscrupulous business owners to come and cheat their money.
When business owners finds out how naive and easy to con Malaysians, of course they will start a business just to cheat your money. It’s like the supply and demand thing. When the demand  to make quick money is high, the supply for such business will be high also.
Blame no others but yourself if you get cheated in such scams.
Conclusion
Nasi sudah jadi bubur is a famous malay proverb. You can’t do much and please don’t dream of getting your money back. It is impossible for such things to happen as we are staying in bolehland! If you are in Singapore, there is still some hope of getting something back but not here! Dream on…
Take this is a lesson and do not indulge yourself in such easy money and quick rich scheme anymore. If you dont believe me, go ahead and get rape by those business owners again and again and again…

Boss Fined RM22,500 Over Acid In Noodles

The use of benzoic and boric acid is so rampant in Malaysia.Back in the eighties,over 10 children died in Perak due to consumption of loh see fun tainted with one of the two acids.The factory owners here are so greedy.
They use it without qualms to increase the volume of the produce with less flour and also to lend the noodles a sheer,fine and smooth sheen.
As an example,f you compare Malay assam laksa noodles to the chinese version,the chinese noodles are so smooth they slide into your mouth,whereas the Malay noodles which are made from real rice grains are coarse and lumpy.When exposed to the wind the Malay version will harden whereas the chinese one will still remain moist and picture perfect.This unnatural state of affairs is attributed to the much touted cooling properties of the two acids amongst the chinese community.
This is a myth.
Don't let them mess with your head.The smoothness of the chinese noodles is not because they have better kungfu,it is because they wrongly misused science for profit without a regard for our safety.
If you have ever been into Wang Kelian you will notice a stark difference between the salted fish sold on both sides of the border.While our local businessmen are quick to put the blame on excessive use of banned pesticides and preservatives found in our local fruits,salted produce,vegetables,pickles etc on their foreign counterparts,it is here that you will bear witness to who is the liar.
The Thai version attracts tons of flies,on the Malaysian side,there is not one fly stupid enough to partake of this deadly meal.
This means that when the local wholesalers import in foreign produce,they,the locals are the real culprits that lace the products with banned chemicals.It is for this reason that some food sellers will not consume their own products because they know what is in it.
The rest of you can die,so long as they far chye.What bastards!
In this newest case the owner is a repeat offender.
It took the Malay people to fine him.
Why are our own chinese people protecting this bloody fat ass?
Get a copy of today's northern edition The Star to see this criminals face.And if eventually you end up with stomach cancer(where the patients are predominantly chinese) in Mount Miriam,take his name to the grave with you and come back for his descendants

GEORGE TOWN: A noodle factory owner was fined RM22,500 for six separate charges of using banned preservatives in making noodles.
Sooi Soon Chye, 45, pleaded guilty to all six charges at a magistrate’s court here yesterday.
Magistrate Mohd Firdaus Abdul Wahab fined him separately for all the charges.
State Health Department’s Inspec-torate and Legislation unit chief Idris Mohamad, who prosecuted, said that between 2005 and 2009, Sooi was fined RM14,000 for eight similar offences.
“He should be fined a hefty sum as he has never learned his lesson.”
Sooi, the owner of Teoh Guan Hup Food Stuff Industries at 91M, West Jelutong, paid the fine.
All his offences took place at the factory on May 19.
Sooi produced hor fun containing about 2,126mg benzoic acid at 11.35am and he was fined RM4,500. He was fined RM4,000 more for producing hor fun containing boric acid at 11,30am.
The accused also produced koay teow containing 1,946mg of benzoic acid at 11.25am, and containing boric acid at 11.20am.
He was fined RM3,000 for each of the offences.
He was also charged with producing bee tai bak containing 190mg of benzoic acid at 11.15am for which he was fined RM4,000.
He was fined RM4,000 for producing yellow noodles containing boric acid at 11.05am.
On May 19, department officer Ahmad Faizal Fauzi had gone to the factory to take samples for analysis.

Faces Steak Garden/Corner @ Jln Pantai Molek (CLOSED DOWN)

September 2011 update :

Don't bother coming,unless you like to check out the eerie looking area spreading from where Hot Wok used to stand right up to the now defunct Faces.
The "For Rent"sign has been up at the corner red bungalow for ages,yet nobody has been brave enough to take up the offer.Overgrown with plants and looking more and more creepy by the day,a chill never fails to run down my spine whenever I have to make a turn into this lane.

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Though it has a very spacious dining area with ample carpark,it is devoid of customers most nights.
Most times only three tables are taken up and that may have affected the bespectacled person manning the cash register so much,he looks like a troubled person in need of some happy pills.Some nights,you get some entertainment in the form of singers.They are quite good but since there are so few customers,you might begin to wonder if you are privy to their practise session.Also the volume is quite loud so much so that if you don't enjoy mandarin songs you will soon develop a throbbing headache.
When they have stopped singing,two things will pop up to trouble you further.
First you will witness a group of bangla staff standing still while smiling(as if they are frozen in a pose for the camera) at the tv screen from 3 tables away.Second they begin to play piped in music that drives you half mad because it gives it a kind of early eighties coffeehouse feel rather like the 'modern' music Red Garden at Lebuh Leith would belt out.
Other than the creatively named fruit juices and one very cheap item on the menu called pizza bread(a slice of ordinary bread with pizza topping),there is nothing really much to look forward to here.
We tried their combo sets,sizzling set,had some sandwiches and even ordered a whole large pizza since we found the pizza bread to be quite good.All flunked.The sauces are gooey,the meats have been refrigerated too long therefore the taste has filtered out,the fish is a joke,the pizza is too sweet and the dough not nice and the sandwiches are ordinary.

Some bloggers will tell you that it is real value for money or even cheap.
They have got to be kidding.
Other than the gimmicky large sized juices and the cheap slice of pizza bread,the rest by comparison to James Foo in Fettes Park,is terribly expensive because the size of the dish is not meant to fill your stomach.A mixed grill in James costs around $15 and will fill you to the brim,whereas it costs $18 here and a fraction of the size.We were so hungry even after ordering so many dishes here,that we headed out to the nearest mamak to have a proper meal.What a waste of time and money coming here.Eating here is like playing costly masak-masak.
There is really no need to go on further.If you are feeling really really down and really really sad,then you may like to come here,to get your brains blown out by loud passionately sung while sitting like an upright corpse mandarin songs,drown your sorrows in gallons of juice to find your kindred soul in the guy behind the cash register.

Pastamania @ Gurney Plaza

Update :
Found their pizzas to be much nicer.Not much ingredients,but in my opinion better in taste,presentation and offers better value for money than Pizza Hut anytime.
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I would like to say that the staff here is very nice despite their gloomy looking faces,if you have a special request they are ever willing to comply.The Malay waitress is helpful,patient and actually smiles.
However when it comes to the food,the clues already presented themselves to us the instant we sat down.
On each table is the customary salt and pepper shaker.Since this is a pasta joint which also serves pizza,a cheese shaker is also present.Now I normally pride myself on not having to reach out and use these little shakers.
When my glob of almost tasteless overcreamed chicken soup arrived those shakers turned out to be essential.
At least a quarter of the cheese and one teaspoon each of salt and pepper went into my tiny bowl.Though I did that in the hopes of salvaging the dish by flavouring it,I might as well have rewritten the recipe for them.
At the bottom of the bowl of soup were some pathetic pieces of tasteless shredded chicken which was beyond rescue.I left them there to rot.
Then came my tomato paste based pasta.The pasta was limp and soft due to overboiling and the paste tasted like Heinz bottled baby food you can buy off the shelf from supermarkets.Baby food is disgusting for your info but suitable for babies cos it has almost no flavour as in this case.
If I were the staff working here day in and day out,my face would be gloomy too faced with having to consume such dishes.Who wouldn't?
Next I snuck a bite of my friend's Olio dish and would like to declare that is the worst I ever had cos it was hard,cold and undersalted though the stinging chilli was rather nice., yet didn't help the dish at all from being classified gone case.
They may have branches in egypt,syria,uae,brunei but they remind me of one of the unfriendly German autobahn makan rest stops or some cold european airport food outlet,devoid of cooking sense or flavour.Places in the cold harsh winter that dish out tasteless food to weary travellers too tired to complain.
You may bring unsuspecting babies or convalescent relatives here for makan.Just order drinks for yourself unless you like to engage in shaker Mania or rattle your table for the fun of it.

Teik Seng aka Teksen @ Lebuh Carnavon

I used to frequent their old corner lot shop once in a while for some really great kam heong dishes,braised trotters,soups and gulais.
Back then the environment wasn't as pleasing to the eye as it is now yet it was a really charming place to eat no matter how frenzied the kitchen was.
Regulars knew their short operating hours like the back of their hands and the ample parking space at the adjacent lot catered to that.
This was essential for there was a sizeable crowd that descended here both lunch and dinner time eager to fulfill their cravings before they closed their doors twice a day.
Now the busy kitchen is shut out of sight behind some saloon like doors and there is no need to fight for a parking space except when you come during lunch hour because of the hive of activity spilling over from the streets flanking this lane.
Today,they look like one of those sterilised heritage diners in Singapore complete with nice dim lights and a cash register system.The tables and chairs don't creak,nor do they shake or rattle on an uneven surface like the metal ones in the old outlet.
Fed up with having their clients hovering around waiting for a table they are now housed in two shoplots and have adopted a kopitiam look.
To put it bluntly some suckers had to pay for all the nice fittings,modern systems,the expansion and maybe even the mortgage.
A meal at a full serving chinese restaurant near Macalister Road costs equal to here.Did I mention that the full serve restaurant has air conditioning,billowy tablecloths,carpetting,a beautiful waitress,peanuts as starters and tongsui at the end?Fat hopes you'll enjoy all these extras at Teik Seng.
Illogical but true....the reasonably priced place has turned comparatively expensive.
This explains why most diners are ordering less dishes than before when every table was laden lavishly with food.
To give you another indication of how much more they cost today,I even came across a towkay and his wife having just one dish of vegetables with two plates of rice between them.Nothing else.

Next we come to what people don't tell you about this place.
If you love the way the Cantonese prepare steamed fish elsewhere,you will think that what they offer here is not exactly fresh.Well this fishy taste is totally acceptable to Penangites partly because they do not adopt cooking techniques that aim to get rid of the associated smell.
Like they say,the instant you allow the blood to trickle into its stomach lining,it is gone fut.In the old place every table used to be graced by a steamed fish dish which strangely only I found appalling(maybe I have had too good a life) yet was thoroughly enjoyed by others to the bones with nary a sliver left for the cats.Flash forward only a smattering would even think of doing so this present day.
Let's just say you absolutely must have it here,try to opt for a deep fried version.
Another typical Penang dish which every table will be enjoying today is their pork fried in thick soya sauce and cili padi.This dish evokes memories of childhood for it was something that our mothers would expertly cook.
Now if you like pork,you'd know that the instant it stays a mite too long in the fridge(one day is enough to do the damage)the fat will turn a hint rancid.If you are accustomed to cooking or eating only freshly bought pork,avoid requesting for this.
In a nutshell they shouldn't have expanded.
The dishes that I so loved are just as good but why the heck would I want to eat here when it costs as much as a nice full serve restaurant?
They should have just stayed put in that tiny lot,we would have enjoyed the stress of making it here in time,having peeks at the cooks,politely hovering before finally being rewarded by eating like it was a great reunion and everybody would be just happy.

T.I. - No Matter What (Video)

This goes out to all the food bloggers and journalists who like to take little potshots at me in their respective media.
Click on the arrow then click again on the "Watch On You Tube" link onscreen to open a new window.
Listen carefully.

Sin Wah CKT @ Pulau Tikus market hawker centre (night)

This fella with an excuse of a moustache is a confirmed Male Diva that can challenge the Lorong Selamat CKT red cap granny.
Lately he likes to shortcut by frying 3 to 5 plates at once because he likes to bury his face in the arms of the very seductive gossip,suicide and drama filled evening newspaper.

Mr.Diva's marketing slogan is "Take it or leave it"

1. He doesn't deliver if your table is too far away.You have to tapau it and wait there for your order while his assistant flashes a creepy grin at u with one leg up like a human grasshopper.

2. He doesn't want,like to or enjoys cooking CKT according to your specifications.And he doesn't hold back on showing you his displeasure at your supposedly brazen attitude
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3. He likes to torture you with exaggerated estimated cooking timeframe needed before u receive your order.Most times it will arrive earlier.
It's a trick I tell you,to make it look like he truly cares about you going hungry on his watch.

4. He likes to rustle his newspapers loudly to send you the telepathic signal that you have just disturbed him from his favourite pastime and he is now putting it away to do you a big favour.
If you don't get his signal,he will resort to staring at you like a taller human coloured Ju-On with a whisper of a moustache due to puberty.What he gained slightly on his upper lip he lost the majority on his scalp.
When that fails he will go on a vocal offensive and brush you off.

5. Occasionally he too enjoys standing with one leg up like a grasshopper,maybe it is a relaxing yoga stance to deal with all of us bafflingly troublesome customers.

6. His price can range from customer to customer.If you are a man sometimes he charges you less,most times he overcharges me by 50 cents even though we ordered the same dish(unless of course both of you sit at the same table) cos he likes newspapers not women.

His assistant used to fry CKT opposite the police station.
Actually he took over from a famous lady that has stopped frying there.
Since the policemen starting jotting down car numbers from their balcony,business has dwindled and another chap took over but I haven't tried it till today.
I'm just making an excuse for him for besides giving people creepy grins when he was free,he looked like he was panicking while attempting to tame his wok.
Apparently a few of the ckt sellers in this area are related to each other.
Not that it makes any difference nowadays.The CKT in this area just ain't as good anymore.

The thing about Sin Wah is he gives you one tiny scrap of sotong in your CKT.Hence the different taste.If only he would stop frying so many plates at once and cut the attitude.

Xiang Peng Peng Salted Chicken (chicken feet) @ Pulau Tikus

Don't be fooled by the shop being open till late at night.He mostly sells out his Salted parchment paper wrapped chicken quite early.
He stays open till quite late because I figure this is his brilliant way of advertising.
Since there aren't any other shops open in that area that late at night,one is bound to notice him like it were the bright lights of vegas beckoning you to stopover for a while.
When you pass by his shop you might think that he is patiently waiting for customers.Then pity takes over your kind heart and you decide to do what the sign says.
You take the trouble to make a U turn into Bee Cheng Hiang,wait at the first traffic light before you pull over and "honk"so he can deliver the dish to your car.
It is then that you will discover that he delights in lowering his newspaper(this is a disease caught from Sin Wah CKT I tell you),followed by his specs before he excitedly shuffles over to you wearing half heartedly worn slippers and telling you as he jiggles his wrist "Boliao-lor"

And then the humiliation at being a fool sticks with you till you make it a point to come earlier so you can finally try his salted chicken at least once in your life.
It is basically salt and fresh chicken that tastes a little bit like clear watered down brands essence of chicken poured onto a charbroiled salt marinated chicken.
The chinese believe that the chicken juices do a world of good for convalescents but to me I think cholesterol control freaks would get white hair over the amount of salt he uses.Anyway good plus bad defeats the purpose of a healthy dish right?Right?
In the meantime he will try to market you other dishes.Thank gawd we only fell for one.

Most importantl of all,don't be a sucker and order their chicken feet dish.We did.
It is tough like a rubber mattress,looks like it has leprosy and tastes as if the chickens were trafficked by fowl smugglers to be enslaved to step on piles of herbs until they died

Mr Pot @ Gurney Drive

It started off as nice hangout until they got ambitious and opened a branch in Upper penang road which has since closed down.
The entire outlet is in dire need of a good scrubbing.
The cushioned rattan chairs are meant for human skin stick to them like super glue because when you dislodge yourself from the furniture you help the semi comatose and highly overworked or overbored staff perform some silent gotong royong clean up campaign.

Most patrons still hangout here for the beer,the wifi and the view.
Some perhaps are on a death wish hoping for lead poisoning due to consumption of pollution laden dishes to take toll and mercifully kill them in their sleep.
Come to think of it,this could be the reason why they have semi comatose staff.
For me the only plus is the very attentive and freshest looking guy that oversees the operations.
Later in the night some burnt out looking chap that looks like he really needs a good bath(or an intensive hydro detoxification process) will order this earlier chap around from the comfort of his chair.
I presume it is the owner.His bloodshot eyes scared the crap out of me.
Food is not bad on the whole but how to enjoy in this kind of kitchen grease/roadside dust and exhaust pipe effluents smorgasboard of such itchyfying conditions?