Monday, March 5, 2012

Banana Cake Bitch & Mangkuk Maid @ Tesco,Tanjong Pinang

Let's just hope,you will never meet this duo.
Cos if you do,be prepared to elbow them.
Yes,even though the old one looks like a nice, retired government servant.
They're rude,obnoxious,siausui beings who should be kicked out of Penang.

What am I talking about eh?

You see,I witnessed this scene just now at Tesco,Tanjong Pinang.
Several women shamefully fighting over a $1 banana cake.

At night,the bread section draws human vultures who circle the area patiently,eagerly waiting for staff to stick on markdown stickers.
Whole packets of buns can be bought for as low as 82 cents.Pound cakes for $1.22.

Most of those waiting,are very civil and never fight over a bag, that someone else has touched or laid their hands on.
Ranging from white collar workers to labourers and retirees everyone takes only what they need.

Not this Banana Cake Chinese Mafia Bitch and her Mangkuk Tandas Indon Gangster Maid.
Earlier on,she had taken the whole pile of potato breads and piled them all in her trolley confident that they would be marked down.But that didn't happen, according to some earlier 'victims'of hers.
Eye witnesses say,she took enmass,wholesale everything off the counter top and pushed her trolley off to the shampoo section.When the boy didn't cooperate by putting the price tags on, she  'kindly' offloaded whatever had a yellow sticker onto another trolley and shoved the original trolley filled with no discount potato breads aside.

Frustrated but undettered she started to hound the guy holding the price tags.
The instant the price tag was applied onto the first cake,her eyes widened as if she had reached multiple orgasms and she quickly  reached out for the first packet.
Everyone around soon followed suit and were actually holding onto parts of the 4 remaining ones,when out of the blue,she growled like a Rottweiler on hot coals.
The maid grabbed every packet out of everyone's grasp,pushed them away,had them quickly loaded onto her trolley and guarded it like a King Cobra.
"THIS IS ALL MINE.HOW DARE YOU ALL TAKE IT.
NO.NO.NO.I ALREADY BOOKED THEM JUST NOW"
 HISSED THE BANANA CAKE SERPENT

Everything in the bin,(the cheapest most worth it buy of course)she has laid her eyes on belongs to her.She has to let it remain on the counter for the man to price tag it.
You are not allowed to even take one bag.
Understand?

Tesco's mistake was,reducing the price of the largest banana bread to $1.Most Penangites will be suspicious,not them cos they're probably not eating it even.
But she wanted them all even though she didn't put them in her trolley and was waiting to see how much it would cost.
She acted like a woman possessed and screamed and shooed all who dared touch the banana cakes she had supposedly booked.
Can't be a Penangite if you ask me.


 Wanted :Banana Cake Bitch
(orange stripped shirt
bag strapped across body)
Age : 60s*
Car make : Gold coloured Toyota Vios
(older version) with 3 digit Penang plate
Crime : Kek Pisang hoarder
Celebrity Appearance : Markdown time at
Tesco Tg Pinang (after 9pm)
Description :doesn't wear specs at discount section,
wears spectacles at the cashier counter,
fair skinned,bob haircut
If you brush her aside,she has an alsatian assistant on standby.
It came in the form of her mangkuk Indon maid.
She fully understands how important it is to save her ma'am's reputation.
She will take you on,even if it means getting physical.


Wanted :Mangkuk Indon Maid
(pink shirt,flowery shorts)
Age : 30s
Offence: Serial Alsatian accomplice of
 Banana Cake Bitch
Sidekick appearance : same as above
Description : Hair in a bun,
smiles before striking
wears slippers,dark skinned

* In case you're wondering how come these two Siao Char Bors are photographed apart (taken secretly of course by yours truly)it's because she has another strategy when it comes to paying at the cashier counter.Both line up on 2 different lines so they can get the shortest line first.

Apparently,these two lesbie psycho bitches do this to every customer who dares cross their path at the markdown section,every weekend night around 10pm at Tesco Tanjong Pinang.
The staff didn't know why she suddenly appeared on a Monday.
They truly believe that this old auntie has gone cuckoo.
Off the rockers.Tanjong Rambutan expatriate.
Someone remarked snidely that she could be a reseller,hawking off expired products to unsuspecting customers or worse still markets and schools.
Cos.you tell me,why on earth would she want 5 whole large loafs of banana cake to herself?

Not liking that prospect one bit,I hope someone who knows her can 'tip' off her customers (if the rumour is really true that she hawks expired products)

Thus,if you're really,really bored,do make a note and don't forget to make time for weekend entertainment watching this chimera boozo in the flesh, wrestle banana cakes and potato breads off other unsuspecting boozos between 9-11pm.
Such a jaw dropping experience is worth the stalking I tell you


* lastly if you're wondering why I followed them,well,I am such a big busybody,couldn't help myself,and besides,there wasn't anything exciting on the telly and this was so much more exciting