Sunday, April 10, 2011

Bravo Italiana @ I-Avenue

I want to start by saying just how dissapointed I am by all the hype over this place.

You get lots of bloggers waxing lyrical and gushing about how good/great/greatest the food here is.
Liars.

The place is packed during lunch cos we all like offers.Offers like the one Manhattan fish market and Mc D's offered recently.
At night however,it is as quiet as the ruins of the Coliseum.

In the first place,the set up itself should have served as a warning.The clues lie in the bar fixtures and choice of rubberwood style of furniture.The bar area resembles the kitchen design resembling one of those really bad japanese restaurants run by local proprietors.

The entire place is so dimly lit and very grimy.It would help if you had some infrared device to tell sprinkled parsley apart from spawning algae.
The Italian music flowing through does not help to set the atmosphere,when the staff look so gloomy,obviously under trained and low on spirits.
Take note that the waitress might approach you as if you were a lion about to have her for dessert.

Everything looks just one step higher than pure foodcourt cheapness.Also,the mood just isn't right.
At a certain point I did feel as if I were dining in a Vatican city grotto while being watched over by a couple of Roman hantus.Like a purgatory on earth.

The tall bespectacled Bladywaiter eyes you but has no courtesy to hold open the door for you to enter the restaurant nor exit it.He knows you are there but prefers to get out of the way,this perverted male bimbo.

The cook takes orders like he were the Pope's Swiss guard stuffed into garters and suspenders.Not happy at all,just wants to get it over and done with so he can continue fantasizing about Berlusconi's Bunga-Bunga harems.

The only thing good to come out of all the food we ordered was the lasagne.It is not excellent though.It is ok but frankly Dome serves a more mouthwatering version even though it costs slightly higher than this outlet.I don't mind paying for a good meal,but I do mind being scalped for a mediocre one that thrives on overrated hype.

I can detect lots of italian herbs infused into the other dishes yet when all put together,they just won't make you want to spring to your feet and scream Bravo!
I didn't like the soup.I hated the grills.The seafood is uninspiring,meats awful.
The beef was so badly done as if someone had crocheted together tendons of tasteless overfrozen meats,popped it in the dishwasher and panfried it just before serving.

At the end of it all,the meal cost us a bomb,arm and leg.
Not worth it and am never coming back again.Ever.
Would rather plunge from a gondola into the canals of Venice and drown with Bravado.