Elton John @ Genting Highlands

How is it that we forget so easily?
Back in 2004 he insulted the Taiwanese people as a nation of
"rude,vile pigs".

When a reporter confronted him and asked him why he didn't get the heck out,
he was quoted spewing
"We'd love to get out of Taiwan if it's full of people like you. Pig! Pig!"

For this I refuse to go see Sir Racist Piglet Egoness himself in flesh neither have I stopped switching channels when his songs are played on air.
Not over his sexuality which has PAS youth up in arms.
He needn't get my dollar towards upkeeping his partner.

See the report below

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Elton John calls Taiwan cameramen 'rude, vile pigs'
agencies  23.09.2004
Sir Elton John warmed up his vocal chords for a Taiwan concert Thursday by calling photographers a bunch of "rude, vile pigs."
The media ambushed the rock star after he arrived by private plane Thursday shortly after midnight at Taipei.
John was angry that police allegedly did not properly restrain the pack and protect him "from the ensuing chaos," a statement issued by the singer said.
ETTV cable news showed footage of John, dressed in a royal blue track suit and matching sunglasses, berating the photographers and TV crews as he cleared immigration.
The fuming star was also shown clenching his teeth and muttering expletives as he stood with his arms crossed tightly across his chest.
"Rude vile pigs," shouted John, who was to perform in Taipei. "Do you know what that means? Rude vile pigs. That's what all of you are."
One of the photographers shouted back, "Why don't you get out of Taiwan?"
John answered, "We'd love to get out of Taiwan if it's full of people like you. Pig! Pig!"
The star, who recently performed in Shanghai and Hong Kong, said, "We had a great tour of the Far East and then we come to Taiwan."
John's statement said, "Despite this frightening arrival, his spirits remain high and he is looking forward to performing the concert."

PappaRich @ Straits Quay

Food :

1. NEVER arrives like what it looks like in the menu
2. Colour and presentation always completely different from what is promised in the pictures
3. Quality control  : much,much,much better than Oldtown.
4. Menu gets its inspiration from central region Chinese New Village roadside hawker style therefore I am extremely sceptical when they attempt any northern region dishes.
5. Coffee : can do only,not really thick,but no complaints
6. Tea     : looks like muddy longkang water,however tastes better than it looks,still not very great
7. Ipoh Horfun : Who the heck chucks in one tablespoon of fried shallots,tons of spring onions with just a few strings of chives?
8. Rendang chicken :Fragrance is there,chilli power is not bad,santan is done thai style creamy.However the recipe is neither Malay nor Nyonya but Chinese New Village.Meat has red,bruises in between.
9. Nasi lemak : Chinese new village style
10. Portion : ok,quite generous

Ambience : Warm,rich and inviting.Great for chit chatting and hanging out.

Price : More expensive than Oldtown,expect to fork out an average of $10/$12 per dish.

Floor staff : Scared,insecure but helpful looking foreigners,helmed by a burly looking chinese guy at the counter(why the hell are they all so big these days?Are they testing or eating everything in the kitchen or what?)thank goodness balanced off with a confident and helpful Malay tudung girl on the frontline.

Service : Sincerely not stuck up nor cringingly fake(so hard to find in Penang)

Good Master Bah Kut Teh @ Jalan Tembikai,Butterworth

We had no opportunity to test out their 'dry' speciality,as according to them,it was a time consuming dish that they offered only on certains days and operating hours (read...too lazy to cook)
So we went for the soupy version and found the stock to be completely different from a lot of other places.
For one,they don't seem to use many expensive herbs but rather rely quite heavily on ajinomoto,a concoction of other sauces as well as liquor to do the job for them.
Then there is a hint of stale bah kut teh which either comes from the balance of the stock which they did not get rid off in the morning.The 'smell' associated to bkt soup left out cold in the open for a few hours only to be reboiled again,can be quite a turn off,if your nose is as sensitive as mine.

When your order comes pleasantly topped off with the greenest crown of lettuce ever seen,of course you immediately dig in with gusto.
I find that they prefer to serve their pork meat,at a just cooked stage(read ....don't wanna waste charcoal), which is perfect if you enjoy the meat around the rib area but rather irritating if you like to gnaw it right to the bone.For that reason,never order the belly area as it is not the smooth,silky,melt in your mouth kind but a rather crude,gross looking texture that is as tough as game meat,and so stringy it easily gets stuck in between your molars.
Now as for the meatballs,these are seriously tough,small,round and hard,undercooked types which zeroes in on why this outlet could be involved in the choking case of the 7 year old in the article below.
Dangerous!
For this reason I took extra precaution and chewed longer than usual.Not that it's special,one can find this kind of meatball in any Penang wetmarket,I found it a rather grotesque experience which I am not fond of repeating ever again.
Otherwise,portions here are extremely generous,great value for money.Except for the mushrooms which they seem to stinge on.
And oh,I forgot to mention that they have a habit of snatching the raw garlic and chillies off your table with a smile.
This is to minimise chances of you piling on a second scoop unless you specially request it from them again.

7 year old choked to death @ Bah Kut Teh,Jalan Tembikai,Bukit Mertajam

Update : 25th october

Again the problem of vastly differing reports,while Nanyang Siang Pau mentioned that it happened at breakfast,
NST says it was during dinner and specified that the outlet involved is located in Jalan Tembikai.
Metro,a malay paper gets into gorier details which I won't put up here.
What I will quote from that paper is the following
"Mulanya saya tidak tahu dia tercekik apa, tetapi hanya dapat mengetahuinya selepas pihak hospital mengeluarkan bebola daging itu,......Menurutnya, anak sulungnya itu tidak menghidap sebarang penyakit kronik tetapi sejak kecil kerap batuk. Katanya, dia pernah diberitahu doktor yang pernah merawat anaknya sebelum ini, kerongkong Ugo agak kecil berbanding saiz normal"

Mention this road and Good Master dry bak kut teh immediately comes to mind.
In any case,it's advisable for them to arrange a press conference
to clear the air over any misconception or otherwise.

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While I extend my condolences to the family that lost their 7 year old at the breakfast table,
at the same time I would like to remind parents to use common sense when taking kids out for treats.

Check to see if the food items that you have ordered are too large,dry or long for their little mouths.
It is best to chop up meats,even fish with skin on,meatballs,jellies,long uncut veges into smaller pieces just for the young ones sake.
While you may like your balls whole,food operators are ever willing to go the extra mile and cut them up with a pair of scissors just for the little ones.
No matter how busy they are,you can always tell them point blank to bring them out of their uncooperative slumber and spring them into action with the above reason, as I am sure they do not want a fatality on their hands to smear the good name of their premises.
Dry roasted peanuts too are hazardous as they tend to get lodged all over the mouth when bitten up.
Also do your kids have a tendency to talk excitedly while eating?
At this point you have to insist they keep quiet until they have safely swallowed their food, even though you may look like a spoilsport.
Last but not least if you are one of the many horribly impatient parents and relatives found all over Penang,that frown at the kids like a hostile bunch of outlaws and gang up on them at the table, in order to force them to finish/gobble up their meal way too fast,put a stop to your nasty habit will you?

Scroll below and notice that I did mention earlier,that the chicken meat in the wantan mee sold at Sawara is so tough and dry,it could cause a child or old person to choke.

As for the culprit?
Your guess is as good as mine that it has to be one of those dry bah kut teh places.
Whose bright idea was it in the first place?


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Ugo Does Good One Last Time
New Straits Times 22.10.2011

BUKIT MERTAJAM: It was an emotionally charged moment for Sim Cheng Ang when she accepted a posthumous trophy on behalf of her 7-year-old son for his excellent results in Chinese. The trophy was for Ugo Teoh, a Year One pupil of SJK (C) Keow Kuang in Jalan Betik here.
Teoh died from choking on a meatball while he and his family were having dinner to celebrate his examination results on Wednesday.
Sim, 36, recalled seeing Teoh's happy face when he showed her his report card with many As, and her promise to accompany him on prize-giving day on Friday.
As a reward, she said they decided to take the boy and their two other children, Udix, 4, and Peyi, 2, to a restaurant in Jalan Tembikai that evening.
During dinner, Ugo suddenly choked on a meatball, suffered breathing difficulties and a seizure. He later died at Bukit Mertajam Hospital.
"I promise him that I would attend the prize-giving ceremony.
"All I can do now is to put the trophy next to his photo. I still can't believe he is gone," she said when met at her mother's house in Taman Belimbing here on Friday.

EARLIER CONFLICTING REPORT

A seven-year-old boy is believed to have died after choking on a meatball while having a bak kut teh meal at a coffeeshop in Bukit Mertajam, Nanyang Siang Pau reported.
The meatball got lodged in Chang You Ke's throat. He tried to vomit it out but to no avail.
Customers tried to help when Chang started suffocating and gasping for air.
Family members sent him to a nearby clinic and he was referred to the hospital as his condition worsened.
But it was too late for the boy. He was declared dead at the Bukit Mertajam Hospital.
Chang had gone to the coffeeshop with his parents and his two-year-old brother when the incident happened

Doctor Fish (Garra Rufa) @ Fish Spas

How many of you have tried this treatment at least once?
I have.
Now the Health Ministry tells us that this alternative spa treatment can hasten our chances of contracting diseases such as......

1. HIV
2. Hepatitis C
3. TB

Great.Just great.
Going to keep this short.
Not to say that the fish are disease carriers,it's the water that's the problem.
Just stay away.
Don't let a fun episode watching the creatures munch away your dead cells take a deadly turn and ruin your life forever.

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Extracted from Berita Harian.....

Kementerian Kesihatan nasihat orang ramai henti terapi ikanPETALING JAYA: Kementerian Kesihatan memberi amaran risiko terapi ikan atau lebih dikenali sebagai spa ikan kerana boleh menyebarkan pelbagai penyakit berbahaya, termasuk Hepatitis C, HIV/AIDS dan tibi serta beberapa penyakit lain yang berjangkit menerusi bawaan air.

And snitched off some blog.....

Pakar perubatan memberi amaran rawatan kaki menggunakan gigitan ikan kecil sambil merendamkan kaki di dalam air yang kian popular termasuk di Emiriah Arab Bersatu (UAE) sejak tahun lalu boleh memberi kesan negatif ke atas kesihatan
Rawatan yang menggunakan ikan dikenali sebagai Garra Rufa atau juga dikenali dengan nama seperti ikan doktor, ikan digunakan untuk memakan sel kulit mati kaki dan buku lali pelanggan. Ikan berkenaan biasanya ditemui dari sungai terutama di Turki, Syria, Iraq dan Iran yang tidak mempunyai gigi tetapi menggigit kulit mati pada kaki.

Sebelum digunakan untuk rawatan beratus-ratus ekor ikan akan dibiarkan tanpa makan bagi membolehkan mereka memakan sel kulit apabila diperlukan.

Rawatan itu biasanya mengambil masa 20 minit diikuti dengan rawatan kaki tradisional kerana bukan semua sel kulit mati dikeluarkan ikan itu. Rawatan ini membabitkan kos kira-kira 95 Dirham (RM82).

Bagaimanapun pakar kesihatan dan doktor meminta pengguna menjauhkan spa ikan ini kerana air tangki terbabit mungkin menjadi tempat paling subur untuk pembiakan pelbagai jenis jangkitan bakteria dan kulat.
“Prosedur ini diharamkan di UAE kerana air yang tidak bersih boleh memindahkan penyakit seperti HIV,” kata Khalifa Mohammad Al Rumaithi, pengarah kesihatan awam di Perbandaran Abu Dhabi.
Seorang pakar dermatologi, Dr P Moham Kumar dari Lifeline Hospital berkata tiada manfaat saintifik daripada prosedur terbabit. – Agensi

Naza Cafe @ C Gate

Faraway view of the Penang Bridge with nice constant sea breeze.Good
Stray cats all over the place.Roll eyes.
Less than desirable hygiene level.Nothing new.
Felda settlement karaoke stage by the seaside.SAY WHAT?

Yea.Really.You the customers are the entertainers here.
They lure you with the glam position of being entertainer for the night as well as the bait of possibly being talent spotted by Evergreen Bukit Jambul studio .Sheesh.

Many many years ago,this place was packed with diners and lovebirds.Today it looks like it is dying a slow death,maybe cos its the middle of the month and many factory songbirds are already pokai or there is a serious dearth of talent on our island.

Food isn't very good,satay portion huge for 70 sen a stick.Drinks bearable.A heck of a lot of items on the menu are not available.Real bummer.

I suppose if you come on a weekend,things will be livelier.
And you may listen to wannabe rockers belt out mournful malay love songs like a Japanese wailer.Or show them how it's done.

Either way,one either ends up hating this or loving it.
As for myself,I had a fit of giggles,snickering at the DJ and his shisha smoking groupie have great fun turning from regular wallflowers hiding behind the lowered semi mask of baseball caps emboldened by their friends audacity to croak out of tune.

This is the real deal.
Penang Idol on show almost every night except on days they are closed.
Then only does peace descend on this side of the Pearl of the Orient and the fishes from the sea float back on the right side again and come out of hiding.

Austin Chase @ Queensbay Mall

Be prepared to receive an English lesson when dealing with the greasy faced young mamat behind the counter cos the oversized guy is too busy fiddling with his laptop in full view of the customers.

If you indicate that you want the All Day Breakfast,he will tell you that it is not available.

So naturally you grill him and ask him WHY ,right?

He will inform your stupid imbecileness ,
that ALL DAY means HARI-HARI ADA (everyday got ).
Itu BREAKFAST,sekarang BUKAN BREAKFAST (don't you know what breakfast is?it's way past breakfast now)
SEKARANG TAKDA (now is dark therefore it is not available)

Technically speaking,he isn't wrong.Directly translated from a dictionary,he is still in the right.
This young bull is a hard coconut to crack.Stubborn in thinking he is in the right.
Lord forbid,he learnt this little gem from his lap top hogging XXXXL superior.

I threw the white flag up and ordered a slice of cake and coffee which I remembered to be good when they first opened shop here.
The cake now tastes of fungal growth,is shorter in height than before ,is just no good and the coffee no better than Starbucks.Yucks to both.

Oh the curse of fast wifi.
It makes unmonitored staff dispose of their tasks quick as possible,not want to clean up,leaving customers to their own wits,not caring a damn bit if you might want something extra.
It's serve fast then surf,surf,surf.

It is also here that you can find the yellowest collection of dog eared paperbacks,thriftshop worthy boardgames missing many items and a condiment counter that has one part been converted into a temporary dumpster.

Never coming back again.

Sin Kim Sun @ Macalister Road (Night)

Woodfire Pizza
Should be renamed ONE HOUR PIZZA.
The sweet dear looking plump little short grandma that looks like Santa Clause's chinese wife, is so fond of giving you a railroad straight faced pityless reply ,when you ask her how long it will take before your order arrives.
If you have a handsome manly charismatic head turning gorgeous looking man with you,let him pimp himself to both of your advantage(the trick is to never stand next to him when he is making the order) and she might(if he's her type) rush her hubby to rush the order to you in half the time.
I am not kidding.
Once you get your order,you will have to gobble down the sizzling ooh aah hot pizza fast or it leaks oil like a petronas reserve.
Anyway,fans like their pizza because it's baked in a wood fired open air brick oven .
Other than the generous toppings and reasonable price,many do get turned off by the thick layer of oil and excrutiating waiting time.

Pork broth stall
The lanky tall guy was doing perfectly fine on his own churning out bowl after bowl happily until the lady took over the stove.
She gets flustered and harassed easily and just cannot handle too many orders.
The offal sold here is unlike Kampung Malabar and Yi Garden.
It pongs like a terrible pig sty which makes me wonder just what chemicals the other two used to get rid of the porky smell.

Satay Stall
The size of the lady owners shirts and skirts have grown with her size and her age
but the size of the satay itself has shrunk down same as with the intensity of the marinade.

Wantan Mee Stall
Boric acid crap
unless you wanna believe the poster that touts this as the best wantan mee on the island

Fish Head Noodle Stall
Fairly new,the old couple exchange many low volumed squabbles over almost everything.
She throws in the ingredients,he fries,daughter serves with a disturbing plank face.Very cute to watch despite their frequent tiffs.
Increasing in popularity day by day.

Fish Head Curry Stall
One of the most good looking couple to operate a stall on the island.Both extremely fair with sharp features.She looks like a painting,he with one of the blackest head of hair I have ever seen.
Together they churn out a killer sweet version of fish head/seafood curry a lot of people head here for.

Curry Mee Stall
Not your typical Penang curry mee,this one is super drowning in oil,extremely oily and comes with chopped curry chicken parts.His wife runs the Hokkein mee stall (different from the famous morning stall)

CKT
Located right at the entrance yet very unnoticeable.

Western Stall
All orders come with a piece of deep fried oil soaked bun.You can request for a plain bun.
They sell out so fast these days,that you need to come fairly early.Their chicken chop(its done hainanese style) is one of the best that can beat a whole lot of other operators on the island.

Grill Stall
I find their off days totally baffling.Maybe they mean to confuse you so you remember to come back and eat with a vengance

Chicken Wing Stall
Cockudoo hairstyle old man has gone MIA.Haven't tried the new operator yet.

Double Boiled Soup Stall
Where one can find Iguana and tortoise soup right smack in the middle of Georgetown.

Kopitiam
Drinks are so so.Equipped with some of the most hardworking staff on the island.
Overall condition : inside slightly better than Yi Garden except for the front portion cos the various stall operators have the habit of dumping washings and discards into the surrounding drains.And that's gross

Yi Garden Cafe @ Macalister Road (Night)

Oh Chien Stall
I used to avoid the oh chien (oyster omelette)like plague when the old lady was there.Your order came like a big blob of starch that pooped out from the orifices of an unidentified lifeform.
The most tasteless oh chien on the whole island.
Then again. she had her fans who would order non stop so maybe it just didn't suit my alley.At least the oysters were fresh.

Today,a spec wearing guy has taken over.Whether he decided to improvise or cut back on the flour,I don't know,but it tastes like char koay teow-fluffy roti telur-omelette with not so fresh oysters
First in Penang.
Me thinks she didn't pass down her recipe.
Don't know whether I should laugh or cry.

Pan Mee Stall
This fella started off selling hokkein mee.He has the lineage to prove it yet he switched to selling this noodle.
Don't like his hand made Pan Mee even though the soup looks quite rich,since it is sickly sweet, but like the stall above he has his fans too.
He also offers chicken feet in the sweetest thickest treacle possible which strange as it sounds,was highly beneficial to health.I can't explain it,but eating this dish reenergised me tremendously.
These days he has watered down his original recipe and I find it not as nutritious as before.So no go.

Pork Offal Stall (out on the roadside)
Hate the small portions and long wait .
Sometimes I just think it is not worth the trouble.
I just don't understand why he takes so long to cook one dish even though there are not many customers.
If your table of friends order from every stall here,slowly take their time to finish their food,your dish still won't arrive.
Embarassing.

Wantan mee stall
This is a very close cousin of the Kowloon old quarter style soupy wantan mee (minus the stinging chilli paste and fake scallop flavouring)you won't be able to find in any Hongkong themed restaurant not even in Canton-i.
Served with fine springy noodles,more than the usual veges.I am always impressed at how they can even manage to include 4 huge prawn-pork balls for the ridiculous low price of just $4.

However hygiene is a cause for concern.The cook and helpers look like they would wipe their anything on everything.
Just close your eyes and pray to god nothing happens to your gut.

Choo Char Seafood Corner
Lots of people over order and over eat here.Just don't ask me cos I don't want to and never cared to try this out.The outcome just doesn't look right to me.Can't bring myself to even order one dish from them.

Kopitiam
Person behind the counter looks stuck up but actually has no airs.He's just probably bored to death.
Kopi is nothing spectacular just like Sin Kim San at the other end of this block cos I prefer the stick to the wall black as the night Air Itam version.
Overall condition :dirty and icky

May Fong @ Kampung Benggali,Butterworth

May Fong attracts irritating "so what's nice to eat ah?"curious newbies and its own salivating for a fix,league of local fans.
Almost always blazing hot on the outside,without fail on each visit.(is there a malay rain bomoh living around here or what?),it offers temporary shade from the boiling aspalt and piercing sun,only after you manage to wedge yourself a seat away from the entrance.

Though I would agree that they are quite skilled at par boiling the white(it's a light yellow to be precise)chicken,I just don't get Bahai people's love affair with this particular dish.
Oyster sauce chicken is available in many places in Butterworth,but is virtually non existent on the island.

Oyster sauce itself was considered a highly prized,special and luxurious ingredient thanks to the many cantonese soap operas gracing our homes,as well as the pages of our mother's magazines.
But an expose that a world famous brand associated with this product actually made it from cheap cockles and not expensive oysters,caused a fall from grace somewhere in the late 90s if I am not mistaken.
Then it suffered another blow when in 2001*,it was proven to contain a cancer causing chemical 3-MCPD and that made many home users shy away (see below)though it hardly caused an impact on commercial operators who still swear by it.

Anyway,dumping it on top of the chopped up chicken dish,simply makes it end up looking like a stale load of brown sperm vomitted from a badly shot porno flick.It just spoils the chook as if it were a fake orgasm
To make it worse,it tastes like cheap oyster sauce,served cold straight out of the bottle even if some will have you believe that it is a 'special secret recipe'.

And when you see a repeat of the sexual crime pinning your ramrod straight quick boiled green vegies down,I simply cannot fathom how this qualifies as appetizing unless you still live time warped,hidden in a large beehive,sporting half horn rimmed glasses, back in the 60s era of sobbing mandarin stills or have an unsatiated fetish for vegies drizzled with starchy chocolate jizz.

Next we come to the noodles.The portion is enough for a stick thin 2 year old.And that's it.So you order an extra bowl,yet it is still not sufficient to half fill the tummy.
I dare say the prawn wantons are left to ferment a little on order to develop the flavour and heighten the smell.But that's flirting with with a bout of food poisoning if in case they ever loose track of time.
When you look at this play play fool fool (main masak-masak) of a dish,it makes you wonder how many Perakians have relocated here in search of greener pastures and the culinary sacriliges they have to put up with.

There are only 3 things I like about this place.

1. The nostalgic shop
2. Its bamboo shutters 
3. and the invigorating "leng teh" a herbal drink made from REAL herbs otherwise known in medicinal halls as Ha Ku Chou, harvested from road shoulders (not from a syrup bottle churned out by some bayan lepas factory)

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In 2001 the United Kingdom Food Standards Agency found in tests of various oyster sauces and soy sauces that some 22% of samples contained a chemical called 3-MCPD (3-monochloropropane-1,2-diol) at levels considerably higher than those deemed safe by the European Union About two-thirds of these samples also contained a second chemical called 1,3-DCP (1,3-dichloropropane-2-ol) which experts advise should not be present at any levels in food. Both chemicals have the potential to cause cancer and the Agency recommended that the affected products be withdrawn from shelves and avoided.
The joint Australia New Zealand Food Authority (ANZFA) said it had taken emergency action to amend its food standards code to set a limit for 3-MCPD in soy sauce of 0.02 milligrams per kilogram, in line with European Commission standards which come into force in the EU in April 2002.
Britain's Food Standards Agency (FSA) singled out brands and products imported from Thailand, China, Hong Kong and Taiwan. Brands named in the British warning include Golden Mountain, King Imperial, Pearl River Bridge, Jammy Chai, Lee Kum Kee, Golden Mark, Kimlan, Golden Swan, Sinsin, Tung Chun and Wanjasham soy sauce.
In July 2001, the FSA issued another statement clearing Lee Kum Kee's name after the company produced laboratory certificates from accredited, reputable laboratories. These certificates show that Lee Kum Kee products now comply with the proposed EU limit for 3-MCPD

Tho Yuen Restaurant @ Campbell Street

It's only famous cos it's one of the few places with dimsum in the morning,choo char and chicken rice for lunch.

I never look forward to coming here.It's always crowded,staff is nonchalant unfeeling like,proprieters always looking a tad too cocky, with not enough seats amidst the loud din of crying babies,horrible screaming children,solemn looking old folks and loud toothpick totting men and blabbermouth women.

Chicken rice verdict .....what the heck is the big fuss about?
Well,for one,you don't get blood oozing out of the white chicken,like one grossout old outlet in Chulia Street.
Doesn't smell awful till you wanna puke as if the chicken just came off the market table like some horrible places I don't wanna remember.
But it's not that fragrant and the meat isn't that moist nor incredibly smooth either.

To rate this as "great" is a no brainer.It's JUST OK,it's NOT THAT GREAT.
It's legendary here cos this is a large busy makan shop in Campbell Street,the shopping place to be DECADES ago.The place to treat the family after a bout of shopping or marketing or praying back in the old days.

Choo char department .....extra way for them to squeeze many BUCKS out of you cos their portions are pathetic.This remains an old favourite with pockets of businessmen till today even though the prices can be pretty steep.
Even if you order a large Sang Mee,prepare for a portion that won't fill a small rice bowl for each person sharing.Never try negotiating for more noodles.What you'll end up with is a negligible amount,slapped with a maximum price.
Plus I really hate the fish noodle dish.Stinks big time.Smells of a rotting scaly carcass.So awful yet their regulars seem to mistake this as the comforting smell of the fishy sea in their constant quest to remain brainiacs.Horrible!

Dimsum department......also nothing spectacular.Won't make you float to the sky with one bite.Won't say it is bad.I have no complaints.It's just ok,can eat lah.

Rating this place as normal.
Even if you don't eat here,I promise you,you WON'T miss a thing!

Il Bacaro Venetian Restaurant @ Campbell House,Campbell Street

As you already know,I am thoroughly fed up at having been taken for a ride so many times,to the point that I am now overtly cautious about trying out new outlets.
Thus I am taking the easy way out again and posting up negative feedback from the horses mouth of the ....shall we say..."victims"themselves.

This is a ten table restaurant that looks like a cigar bar from the outside.
The couple running the show ...one is angmo,the other is Malaysian born.
Conde Nast Traveller describes them both as "uprooted from London" as well as "a restaurant serving cicchetti (the Venetian equivalent of tapas) and fish specialties".
In the next breath,they promise us authentic Italian and home-cooked Venetian.
Until another foreign customer describes their food as Northern Italian.

Perplexingly strange this one.
Like they didn't know that,words once spoken get immortalised forever even in this corner of the world wide web?

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Blue Alila ,United Kingdom:
“Not very Italian”
We visited this restaurant and wouldn't call it particularly Italian. It was as if the restaurant has given up on being Italian and has gone for the local clientele instead. Ever heard of Duck Pizza with Bechamel sauce before?


LGKnature,Langkawi :
“Great location, good food but small portions”
Located in a very nice old building with great atmosphere; not a big place and only 10 tables, but quite busy at the time I was there. Staff was very friendly and attentive, menu was limited, and good wine selection. Had a 3 course dinner; started with salmon and tomato salsa (very nice but small portion), fish with vegetables (no idea what fish it was and it was a very small portion) with roasted potatoes (some were overroasted which I left and no remark when they took my plate) and tiramisu (very nice, but was on my table within 30 seconds after ordering it). The food quality of what I tried is without doubt very good, but after 3 courses still feeling hungry is not a good sign; maybe I should have taken pizza (saw them in normal sizes passing by) or pasta to avoid this. The bill came up to 145RM including 2 glasses of good wine and that would be fine if portions are bigger. Overall it was far too cold for me and think you really need long sleeves. As this is new place (and was recommended by a friend) I will give it another try within the next 6 months as I think that many things were on the positive side.

MWLM Singapore :
“So much hype over nothing.”
Coffee, espresso, was a totally watered down americano and they had the cheek to tell me THAT was how they served espresso, utter rubbish! Coffee grounds could be found at the bottom of the cup! For that sort of price, Starbucks does a far better job! Looks can be deceiving.

Fake Liquor @ Malaysia

We really should stop pointing fingers at others and take a good look in the mirror at ourselves.
This 'problem' unearthed by Starprobe below,is not something shockingly new.
In fact it has been prevalent since the term Happy Hours gained a foothold on the masses 3 decades back.
The counterfeiters are locals.
Plain and simple as that.
If the goods come from other countries,then we bloody hell imported our bootleg knowledge there and started employing the foreigners as frontliners.
That is the number one reason why China has started removing our nitrite tainted birds nests from their shelves.

It's hard to find a nightspot operator who will refuse the bait of original liquor at duty free or smuggled prices.
Yet I find the probe rather flawed,by taking the word of one that nightspot operators knowingly buy counterfeit products to jack up profits.
Operations fold up because,they thought the trade was profitable but it turned out to be a constant cost juggling headache of trying to make ends meet.
On top of that,Malaysian customers are extremely fickle,one minute we stick like flies to this place,two years later we get bored,abandon it and head to newest venues.

Then there are two kinds of bartenders.
1.The blur types : counterfeiters pounce in on them at a quiet time before opening or after closing hours on the pretext of helping them dispose of their empty liquor bottles.
2.Those in the know : get paid for the trash

The best solution to solve part of the problem:
1.Destroy empty bottles even if you consumed it at home
2.Monitor the bottle collectors to find out who their buyers are.


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Smells Like Cheap Spirits (The Star 13.10.2011)

Beware Of Counterfeit Liquor The Next Time You Order A Bottle

Kuala Lumpur : The next time you order a bottle from the bartender,be wary of counterfeit liquor.
It may not be noticeable to the naked eye and you may be drinking adulterated or fake alcohol.
Regular consumption can lead to severe liver damage,sudden blindness,even death.
Pubgoers should treat this seriously as Malaysia is ranked among the top five countries affected by counterfeit spirits or liquor.
The most commonly counterfeited spirits are Scotch whisky and cognac,both of which command about 80% of alcohol sales in the country.
Counterfeit spirits take up about 10% to 15% of the market for certain popular brands.
Fake liquors are said to be circulating in Chinese medicinal halls and nightspots in Jalan Kuchai Lama,Kepong,Sunway Mentari,Jinjang and Desa Petaling.Penang,Perak and Johor are also not spared.
According to sources,unscrupulous nightspot operators were the biggest culprits in the chase for big profits.
"They will set up shop for one or two years and then close down and relocate elsewhere"said one source.
The usual retail price for one particular brand is about RM148.Checks showed that the fake versions of this brand was available to retailers at between RM60 and RM80.
A genuine bottle of the liquor is sold at between RM250 and RM300 at nightspots,with fake versions going for below RM200.
Another common tactic is to add adulterated branded liquor.
"When a customer buys the first bottle,the genuine product is sold."
"When the second bottle is ordered,the fake version is given because chances are after you've consumed so much liquor you wouldn't know the difference"said a source.
According to a source,cheap scotch smuggled into Malaysia was filled into branded liquor bottles which were then re-labelled.
To counter this problem,certain popular brands have a random numerical code on the cap that corresponds with one etched on the bottle.
According to a nightspot manager,outlets in Europe countered this by breaking the heads of empty bottles to prevent counterfeiters from reusing them

Kirishima Japanese Restaurant @ Cititel Penang

Where do I begin?
Like they say...if you wanna eat Japanese,go where they themselves get their fill.
The downside is,that the endless buzz from chattering Japs get amplified in the surprisingly small and stiffling space.Try as you might,the din never grows on you,and gets on the nerves after a bit .Incessant ringing of mobiles,courtesy of local culprits(who else?),makes you entertain thoughts of dunking their toys in soy and wasabi.

The non smoking section is so worn and dated,with the lighting above each cubicle so terribly unchic,as if they detached a chicken coop wrapped it round an old partition and stuffed it with lightweight styrofoam craft boards.
Fact is,you get the feeling that they might be averse to the non smoking fraternity,seeing that they shut us out of the way in the farthest corner of the liquor clogged entrance.
Dimly lit and cloistered in,it reminds me of the elbow space one has to endure,dining in one of the many busy male dominated chopshops,dotting the Shinkansen station at 7pm in downtown Tokyo.

When it comes to the taste,I really have no complaints.
Kirishima replicates heartwarming country side flavours that rise gently on a simple bamboo platter.Liberal sprinklings of flavoured chilli powder indicates a greater Laotian/Thai influence on the modern Japanese palatte.But I wouldn't go so far as to rate it 5 star nor declare it as the finest of its kind.

However,if you have up to date,only experienced bad and bland Japanese food ,thanks to all those awful look good on the surface only,restaurants monopolised by a select few Penangites,then do head here for a reeducation to find out why this cuisine possesses the verve to make the heart start ticking.

But let it be known that with authenticity comes more raw,strange offerings and cold platters,which novices and the uninitiated might find hard to stomach or handle.

Kek Lok Si Cliffhanger:The Abbot,The Datok and The Seven Sisters

I know that there are many Penangites spread over the seven seas reading my blog for all the good and bad it may contain.
Had you spent a good part your carefree childhood here,your elders would have passed down to you tales about The Seven Sisters as well as The Dato that presides in the brook at a bouldery slope near the Kek Lok Si temple.

Sad to tell you that the place has now been ripped apart,in the name of erecting a carpark area for the commercially driven,uber materialistic buddhist temple,who in my eyes,is no different from a large spiritual pawnshop complex that hawks you roof tiles at a minimum of $50 a pop,complete with a mini resort style tram, to fetch you great polaroid shots of Kuan Yin or Buddha.

In a frenzied scramble to build a car park ,fuelled by greed for tourist dollars and want for more pilgrim donations,the overzealous expansion displays a real devil may care disrespect as well as total disregard for the environment and guardian spirits of the land,our islanders rever.

The poor man's shrine that offered the terminally ill and hexed a chance to find a free cure,as well as victims of robbery to trace the culprit is no more.
The stream that housed the good earth spirit has been defiled.
The playground of fairies left baren.
The seven stone urns plundered.

With all that,it upstages the hush hush gossip mill about the last abbot,who was rumoured to have been ultimately defrocked for being embroiled in a scandalous relationship with somebody's wife.

Instead the current Abbot should be made a posterboy for Dollarism and be given a free one way ticket to hell by the soul laundering whacko Master Kek Eng Seng,most heavenly disciple of Conjobism.

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Greenery Gone
 (NST-6/10/2011)

Penang Island Municipal Council is taken to task for not stopping the Kek Lok Si Temple car park project earlier

GEORGE TOWN: Non-governmental organisations (NGOs) have urged the local authorities not to approve the proposed car park by Kek Lok Si Temple in Air Itam as the hill slope project was detrimental to the environment.

The NGOs also want the Penang Island Municipal Council (MPPP) to explain why the destruction of a hill slope near the Kek Lok Si Temple in Air Itam had gone unnoticed for nearly four months until the matter was raised in the press a week ago.
Works to clear the hill slope of trees, natural rocks and boulders to make way for a RM10 million car park project by the temple had started some time in June, said Pertubuhan Pelindung Khazanah Alam Malaysia executive committee member Prof Dr Jimmy C.S. Lim.
He questioned why the council only issued a stop-work order last Wednesday and state officials only inspected the site on Tuesday although what had been going on there was highlighted numerous times in the media and on websites.
"What kind of enforcement is this? After all that has happened, the council should not consider the temple's proposed car park project.
"We should not have the council telling the temple to submit the necessary applications now so that the approvals could be expedited because it would not be right. The project cannot be approved," Lim said here yesterday.
He said neither the council nor Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng should allow a project to take place without first consulting the people.
Criticising the council for not acting on the matter in time to prevent the hill slope from being destroyed, Lim said the council must realise its responsibility to safeguard public interest and protect the environment with diligence, followed by a sense of urgency instead of waiting for several months.
He added that the Drainage and Irrigation Department (DID) should rehabilitate the stream that flowed on the site that had also been affected by the development.
He also took the project's consultant engineers and architects to task, saying that they had breached their professional conduct by allowing the detrimental development and that they should be reported to their respective professional boards.
The proposed car park project and the defacing of the hill slope made the news last week following protests from NGOs and debates online.
The development on the site was first reported by the Chinese dailies in July.
The Penang Heritage Trust and the Culture Heritage Action Team (CHAT) also called a press conference last Saturday, criticising the development and the manner it had taken place without due consideration to the environment, the cultural and historical assets on the site on Crane Hill and the stream, which has now been reduced to a "large drain".
The NGOs lamented that natural rocks with unique shapes like elephants and tigers, a huge flat-surfaced rock dubbed the "Pavilion of Swirling Water", where people could sit and listen to the sounds of nature, and a very old "Datuk Kong" shrine with seven stone urns dedicated to the "Seven Sisters" (Keramat Tujuh Beradik) were now lost.
The oldest stone urn in the shrine was dated 1887.
It was reported yesterday that the ground work on the site began without any approval by the council as the temple did not submit any applications for the project.
Lim, who is past president of the Malaysian Institute of Architects (PAM), also urged the council to relook into the temple's approved project to build a crematorium and columbarium a little further up the hill from the car park site.
He said such a development should not be allowed as it would be too close to the Air Itam Dam, which was the source of the island's drinking water, and an important water catchment area.
The car park, crematorium and columbarium projects all together, he said, would also not solve the traffic congestion problem in Air Itam and might potentially worsen it.
"Would these projects instead exacerbate the traffic problem as more people will be encouraged to drive to the temple while roads in Air Itam remain as narrow as they are now?"
He suggested that it might be better if the council told the temple to build the car park near the Tun Dr Lim Chong Eu Expressway and match it with another car park for another 1,000 cars.

Tai Buan Porridge(open till 5pm) @ Muntri Street

Although it is located in a nondescript shoplot at the crossroads of a very seedy area where pondans ply their trade,the tiny pathetic portions aren't even enough to fill your tummy.

Owners practise the take it or leave attitude with a smile.

If everything else on the menu has finished,they won't even fry an egg for you and they'll deliver the good news to you with a nice evil smile.This is because they've limited themselves to using the stove just once a day only so they can save energy and eventually the world.

Even though the array of dishes has wittled down to one dish only,they'll still put on a fake smile.
You,the sucktomer are expected to eat your moi with just one salted egg like a good boy/girl as you watch them continue with their mission to smile.

Even wicked stepmothers aren't as mean as this.

Oldtown White Coffee @ 1st Avenue Mall

Update October 2011 :
The tyrant king was not around when I revisited again.I don't know how Oldtown does it,but they managed to find another patient chinese young managress to give us customers a bit of liberty to surf away to our hearts content.From the looks of the many gizmos being utilised atop almost every table,that's good news.
----------------------------------------------------
Headed by an outlet manager breed from the same test tube as The Little Nyonya Cuisine's head of staff,he delights in 'chasing' away Kutu's who like to latch on to Oldtown's wifi by instructing his foreign staff to "kasi tutup 3 tempat"(switch off the 3 points)

See,this fella,is obviously not from the island.
You can see how disgusted and revolted he is by the concept of the pariah Penangites who love to share one plate of CKT and 2 cups of white coffee amongst 6 adults and 2 kids.

Due to this in built frustration,he lashes out at the free wifi parasites cos he cannot fathom the gall those very pretty Starbucks chicklit fleas upstairs have,at daring to sit down in the outlet,take up all available tables and seating space just so they can use the wifi without even ordering a single item or drink.

The situation in Starbucks has so gotten out of hand,that even their outlet inside of Borders, Queensbay mall has plastered up some stern rules and regulations there.

The polite notice goes something like this ....

"you are only allowed to browse one book at a time,and our staff will be coming round every 20 minutes to collect books from you"

what they really mean to say is...

"u worthless kiamsap parasite fleabags and kutus,we are going to snatch the kiamchai books out from your hands whether you like it or not when your 20 minutes are up.Remember,we got our eyes trained on you"

Thus explains this 1st Avenue manager's rather brutal stance.
When your connection doesn't come back on after countless tries,you may start looking in his direction.Not that he cares,he just wants these unwanted customers to get the heck out,so others can move in.So highly strung this one,good candidate for a heart attack.
Thus the absence of surfers here.

As for the food,do stay on the safe side and stick to a meatless dish,so you won't have to crouch atop your toilet throne for the next 2 days.

The Little Nyonya Cuisine @ Gurney Plaza

Update November 2011 :

Apparently after the initial fanfare,they now have an issue with freshness and quality control which is so wrong especially since they use coconut milk so liberally.
Tubers can be undercooked and even left out in the open so long they start to rot,sambals left to discolour and darken due to over refridgeration.
Oils used for deep frying recycled countless times till the dishes come off as greasy rather than super oily.
Only recommended for those with stomachs of steel.
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Penang Peranakan claim :
Cowdung and Pigeon feathers.
Acar hu looks more like pekasam.
Enche Kebin doesn't even remotely bear any resemble Penang nor Peranakan both in taste and presentation.
Kari kapitan is Kapital-F-A-I-L

Celebrity Tie Up :
Looks like Axian aka Jason Yeoh of "Axian's Food Adventures" tv programme,absolutely doesn't mind denting his already bashed up reputation by using his celebrityship to back this outlet up so long as money come.
Checkout his facebook and blog and see all the crap hurled at his recommendations by countless Malaysians.
Where and which part of Penang did he crawl out from?
Some backwaters of Jelutong,the nucleus of tasteless Penang food?
Not that I am saying Jelutong doesn't have its gems.It does.A sad total of just 3 gems (ok I give in,make that 5,if u must have the 2 nasi kandar outlets included)in this vastly populated district,one the morning curry mee pushcart,two the economy rice that opens till dinner,three the crab porridge.But there are so many more horrible makan places to outweight the good any given time.

Price :
Like a Yoyo and Roller Coaster.
Crazy! Some items are cheap and some,expensive,drinks are a costly affair where they even charge 80sen for plain water

Overall Impression :
A big mish mash between self order ala Hongkong style food outlets,Old Town coffee counter and flooring,a tiny Tokyo kitchen cubicle(they even managed to squeeze in a satay area! good grief!),a roadside kopitiam drink counter with minimalist,colourful bench sofa and lighting that looks like it could fit into G Hotel's budget for the broom closet.
Simply put,they wanted to reach out and attract every fickle type of customer, thus they gathered apples,durians,petai,kiwifruit together,deepfried them in one big wantan and aptly named it Nyonya.
This is what REAL Malaysians will certify as R-O-J-A-K

Taste :
Penangites will hate this cos definitely not Penang in origin.Most glaring reason....absolutely no sugar in the food.Second...not fine,very 'chor lor',no finesse.
Rather it is KL/Malacca Streetfood cooked in the style of clever aunty types transplanted from New Village/smalltown eateries,where the food is a sweat pouring experience best eaten under a zinc roof,preferrably near a drain.
Homesick KLites will find this comfort food cos the noodle is undercooked,food is super oily,santan is cardiac arrest thick.Malaccans working here will love the WARM bubur chacha.

Serving Bowls :
Gigantic.Bowls are the size of a plastic hand basin,large enough for you to wash your face in.Plates the size of medium sized serving trays.

Management :
The Fuhrer.
Scowling,obssessive,verbal diarrhea, local big sized man who likes to pick on 'lembu' staff from the kitchen window where he is cos he got no confidence in any of the staff getting anything right

Service staff :
Sacrificial victims,barked at and cornered into a confused state of mind,by the big bad wolf marksman manager,who has fibre optic laser eagle eyes able to penetrate past customers heads just to keep tabs on every slightest mistake the staff might commit.Somebody get him a time machine.
That the staff are smiling is just a cover as it hides the fact that they are blur cowering foreigners who like to gather in a straight line,with their backs near the cash till and kitchen window waiting for a firing squad to pull the trigger and end their misery.
The whole idea,even if it infuriates the boss even more, is it offers them,a momentary respite away from His Excellency's "I wanna eat you" glares and poisonous stares

Menu :
Weird....even got Nasi Dagang(east coast kampung cina villager?don't laugh but that could explain the presence of White House coffee which reminds me of a kopitiam in Kelantan),Black Pepper dishes,Banana split,cheap supermarket western sausages for those that come to a Nyonya restaurant but don't wanna eat Nyonya food.The beef with ginger tastes more like the sauce used in the recipe for yellow wine ginger chicken.Butter rice is a horrible experiment gone wrong.

Order Chit :
Hongkong style,but terribly confusing even though it is just one small piece of folded paper printed on both sides cos there is no sense of alphabetical order.To give you an idea of what I mean,it is like going into a housing estate,finding that the road next to Jalan A is Jalan K preceeded by Jalan C and so on so forth.So in this case you need to flip your order chit back and forth looking for the corresponding alphabet to your order as if you were sitting for an exam

Value For Money:
Not really especially when they dare put one tiny,pathetic Jack-the-Ripper was here mutilated chicken the size of two fingers in my wash basin of curry noodles.
If you hanker for value for money KL/New Village streetfood,The Chicken Rice Shop's Curry Chicken Noodle is a better bet.

Comfort :
Warm,cramped and uncomfortable

Positive comments :
Almost always crowded cos of the "Nyonya"tag (NOT!),Axian's puny elfen nerd face and looks nicer from the outside than when you actually sit down and dine.
Food smells good on first impression,you dig in and the aroma really entices you.But once their dishes cool down,they are not in the least bit appetizing,just makes you wanna dilly dally,look busy rather than have to finish it.Bleaugh....
Look,I tried....I really did.

Pizza stall @ Tanjong Tokong Hawker Centre,next to Island Plaza

I nominate this for title of WORST pizza in the world,thus officially relegating the other lousy pizza I had in Rome(it was so bad I cannot recall the name of the offending outlet*) to second place.


Update : its a small shop along Via Ottaviano.

Sawara @ Pulau Tikus

You wonder why the Japanese decor is used in a place that has a signboard above its entrance,that promises you, yong tau foo.When you see the steamboats on each table which are actually portable cookers operating on electricity to save gas,you end up more confused.

You look through their menu and the first thing that hits you is their $388 set ?
WHAT?For this lousy icky place that needs a good scrub and spring cleaning?OUTRAGEOUS !

So you ignore it and try to find something cheaper.
Your order comes and you take a sip of the soup.This is nothing remotely Malaysian.The taste is completely alien.
Their soup stock tastes nice and creamy because they add raw eggs just before serving.
Risky if you ask me what with so many bacterium and germs present in undercooked eggs.

The worst thing about this place is the prices you see on the menu will not be reflected in your bill.
So if you order a cheap noodle dish that is listed as $12 they will add on another $2.50 for the noodle.Yea,a no brainer!
Some might interpret this as blatant cheating.Much like going to the hypermart,seeing one price on the shelf,going home and finding you paid $2 more for it.
Same goes for this restaurant,the staff will always find something extra to add on or even make 'mistakes' which they hope you will forget.
I really don't know why.Either they are in cahoots with the boss or its on the boss' order or the cashier cum order taker is sick in the head.

On top of all that,their practically non existent yong tau foo version, is totally different from anything you have tried.
Ordering food here is highly restrictive and stiffling as a communists ideology,as their reputed fresh "saito" fishpaste mixed with soft chinese celery is tightly controlled and they won't allow you to order too much at one time but offer you pathetic morsels,the size of a fat fifty cent coin(the secret tactic to making you hanker for more).

Some will go for the chicken wantan mee which at $5.50 is considered real value for money what with a ton of mushrooms,veg and chicken meat,but the flossed meat is so dry and hard it is very easy to choke on.
Not recommended for old persons and young kids!

Like I said before,the final bill will be a shocker and a whopper especially if you had done your math earlier running the total with the menu as a reference.
But let's just say,you are entertaining,you will probably not want to raise the issue.Just how is one supposed to 'bite' them,without embarassing your guests?So you simmer in anger on slow boil,leaving a trail of steam flowing from your ears,as you make your way towards the exit.
Somehow I think they were banking on this to happen.Obviously the bottomline is profit and you are the sucktomer,even if they impressed you initially with the generous helpings.